experiment

[Ginny]

I'm usually more interested in relationships and general happiness, but for once I have an actual material wish.

I think, given how well LOA has worked in areas where I've applied the principles in a fairly flawed fashion (succumbing to doubts and anxiety periodically, but always managing to return to get my focus on the outcome I want, rather than worries about how things might go wrong), then this should be an area where things should go even more smoothly.

Thought it might be of interest to others in a similar situation, so thought I'd post it.

The situation is, a house has come up for sale that is superb. It isn't absolutely perfect, but it's the closest thing to perfect that I've seen in my price range, and much nicer than where I live now (which actually, I really like a lot any way). And I could imagine being very happy living there.

The main thing is that it's at the very top of my price range. Also, because it is so nice, I think it will generate a lot of interest, so it might get a lot of offers. So, what I'd like to happen is that we get the house, but continue to live a comfortable lifestyle (ie that would probably take us coming into some additional money or for the sellers to lower the price a lot, because at the current price the mortgage would be a fairly big burden for us).

I'm actually not at all concerned about getting the house, because as I've said, I like where I'm living now. The main advantage of this new place is that it's a lot bigger, and in a nicer part of town. So, I'd be very happy living there, but not upset if we didn't get it either.

So, theoretically, this should be a done deal, right? I'm feeling very positive, and I'm not at all attached to actually getting the house ... anything other thoughts?

[Andrew Wilkie]

Oh I know this one! Working on it myself.  Yes you could achieve this, yet in your writing. Deep down I don't think you want THIS house. If you got it great if you didn't no worries.

Yet, lets look at your real goal.

Live where you are or do you want the nicer part of town?
You have an amount of money that you want to spend and you don't want to go over it.
Bigger house than what you have.
Nicer part of town.
Be able to buy the house easily and comfortably.


So why not do this:

Start walking, driving around the area you want to live in. 
Look around the houses so that you can get an idea of the design of them and of the location.
Contact estate agents for any house you like, start going into them.
Physically get inside them. It's a numbers game.
Get rid of all the old stuff you will not need or take with you to the new house.

Maybe it is this house, yet you might as well be specific in your wants. More importantly be comfortably. Check your reasons and emotions. If you knew this house was yours, would you still have the emotions that you feel?

[Ginny]

Oh, we've been looking at that area for the past 10 years - this is the first time anything liveable we've been able to afford has come up. We've looked at a few places over the years, but this is the first time something has come up that we can a) afford, b) doesn't need major renovations (whenever we've been able to afford something before, they've always required huge renovations or been on a busy road with constant traffic noise - this one you could move straight into and is tucked away in a very quiet location).

What makes it 'not perfect' is that it doesn't have much of a garden and it's at the top of our price range (which could be very scary if / when interest rates go up). But very few of the houses in that area have much in the way of gardens, and the ones that do are way way way out of our price range. And, to be fair, our current garden isn't much bigger, and I don't always do such a good job of keeping even that one in order! (so maybe it's a sign that I should be looking for a smaller garden - I love plants, but I'm not very good at looking after them! )

I would be very happy to live in that house - if I knew the house was mine, I think I would be mixed between a) feeling very happy that we were going to live in such a lovely house in such a lovely location b) worrying about the effect of having such a huge mortgage to pay. We could definitely afford it, but we'd have a lot less spare cash than we do now - not to mention if / when interest rates go up!

[Andrew Wilkie]

Work on your feelings and all the other pieces of the puzzle that you want.

[Ginny]

How do you think other people's will would fit into this?

My husband, for example, wants that house. He's not at all worried about the money (I'm not hugely worried, just a little). He never worries about money. So, he completely wants it and doesn't see any obstacles at all (he's not fussed about the garden). I love the house too, but I also like having lots of free cash. In this instance, there's no battle, because I am happy with any outcome - but my preferred outcome would be to have the house AND have comfortable standard of living with no money worries. So, it would seem that on this occasion, the balance of will would be for us to get the house. But, if one of us were opposed, whose will would prevail?