Cultural Rebirth

[crimson]

Maybe some people can give me some insight and advice as to what I'm doing wrong and how to overcome my resistance.

I am an Indigo. My career rout is solo-artist, and also trained in method acting. I'm also a city design innovator. I can sit here and talk about how much better I am than all the artists that are topping the charts. And how there is no competition for me in that domain. Yet I have been trying to get something recorded for years to no avail because of bad circumstances. I'm sure there are alot of artists who came from bad circumstances, and were able to release their music, and be successful. Yet I haven't been able to record even one song. I have been fortunate to do some work as an extra in movies, but have not been able to secure any real roles for acting or modeling. But really, my main focus is my music and my YouTube.

What I have been wanting to attract is:
1. Money for a place where I can live and work on producing and releasing songs consistently in a nice environment. Right now, I live in a room with a bathroom in somebody's house. The guy that lives in the room downstairs was harassing me for awhile, but my landlady was able to deal with it. Also, having a nice Car would be helpful. Right now, I drive a totally beat up jalopy. Honda CRZ would be my automobile of choice.

2. A computer, and audio stuff. I have a detailed list of everything I need for working on my music.

3. Video camera to make videos for my YouTube. I have a channel, but no videos.

4. Get in shape. Right now I'm about 40lbs overweight, and my skin isn't doing too well. I've been suffering from food addiction. Been going through aches and pains in my neck/upper back. I really want to get back into shape for acting and modeling. I want more than anything to just be free from food addiction, and much more devoted to taking care of my body. As opposed to eating junk and completely not exercising.

So what is the problem? My family has been an extremely poisonous influence on my life. My parents were very emotionally abusive. I had to leave home and live on the streets when I was in high school. I probably could have gotten into Harvard or one of these top schools with flying colors. And I'm sure there are all kinds of kids who came from similar circumstances, and were able to overcome their situation to make it into good schools. I'm not one of them. So I try as best I can to avoid my abusive parents and poisonous family. As well as other negative influences.

“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” -Mark Twain

But the real problem is not that. The problem is that I have done my best to stay the hell away from my fam and all those types of people. Yet it still affects me alot. I don't know why, and so I don't know what to do. The only thing I do know is that it's extremely debilitating. And so I've been suffering from alot of depression which indicates I'm perpetually creating my crippling circumstance of not producing or releasing anything. I end up overeating, not really making any money, and getting nothing accomplished each day.

Sometimes I feel resentful about rich people that are able to afford to produce songs. Like I end up getting upset because they have the money to produce music, and can't sell anything for the life of them. All the while knowing that if I had the money to at least produce one song, I would have no problem out selling major label artists with my eyes closed hands tied behind my back. But because I'm poor, I'm not able to produce anything. I don't know how to break out of these thought patterns and just focus on pursuing my career and taking over the music industry. My past, being poor, and the "reality" in front of me is what I end up focusing on. And I don't know how to shift to more positive focus.

Being alone is another thing that often gets to me. Because of my self neglect, I tend to have low self esteem. Sometimes when I'm with girls, I don't think they'll be interested in me because I'm poor and overweight. Not to mention depressed and not very active in getting my life together. I know in my heart that I have a level of intelligence and abilities that all the money in the world couldn't buy. Yet it doesn't really make me feel much better.

I'd say that abundance to me is about: Consistently taking care of myself. Exercising. Eating right. Being happy. Producing and releasing my music. Consistently uploading vids on my YouTube dedicated to my music, acting skits, my philosophies, etc. Cultural rebirth, technology, world peace. Having lots of people in my life that care for and are interested in everything I'm about and everything I'm doing.

[schenderson22]

Maybe some people can give me some insight and advice as to what I'm doing wrong and how to overcome my resistance. I just replied one of your other posts.  So you can probably disregard my comment about your story.   

I am an Indigo. My career rout is solo-artist, and also trained in method acting. I'm also a city design innovator. I can sit here and talk about how much better I am than all the artists that are topping the charts. And how there is no competition for me in that domain. Yet I have been trying to get something recorded for years to no avail because of bad circumstances. I'm sure there are alot of artists who came from bad circumstances, and were able to release their music, and be successful. Yet I haven't been able to record even one song. I have been fortunate to do some work as an extra in movies, but have not been able to secure any real roles for acting or modeling. But really, my main focus is my music and my YouTube.

What I have been wanting to attract is:
1. Money for a place where I can live and work on producing and releasing songs consistently in a nice environment. Right now, I live in a room with a bathroom in somebody's house. The guy that lives in the room downstairs was harassing me for awhile, but my landlady was able to deal with it. Also, having a nice Car would be helpful. Right now, I drive a totally beat up jalopy. Honda CRZ would be my automobile of choice.

2. A computer, and audio stuff. I have a detailed list of everything I need for working on my music.

3. Video camera to make videos for my YouTube. I have a channel, but no videos.

4. Get in shape. Right now I'm about 40lbs overweight, and my skin isn't doing too well. I've been suffering from food addiction. Been going through aches and pains in my neck/upper back. I really want to get back into shape for acting and modeling. I want more than anything to just be free from food addiction, and much more devoted to taking care of my body. As opposed to eating junk and completely not exercising.

So what is the problem? My family has been an extremely poisonous influence on my life. My parents were very emotionally abusive. I had to leave home and live on the streets when I was in high school. I probably could have gotten into Harvard or one of these top schools with flying colors. And I'm sure there are all kinds of kids who came from similar circumstances, and were able to overcome their situation to make it into good schools. I'm not one of them. So I try as best I can to avoid my abusive parents and poisonous family. As well as other negative influences.  Basic principle of LOA is "like" attracts "like".  With that said being in a state of "Avoidance" will only bring about more to avoid.

“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” -Mark Twain

But the real problem is not that. The problem is that I have done my best to stay the hell away from my fam and all those types of people. Yet it still affects me alot. I don't know why, and so I don't know what to do. The only thing I do know is that it's extremely debilitating. And so I've been suffering from alot of depression which indicates I'm perpetually creating my crippling circumstance of not producing or releasing anything. I end up overeating, not really making any money, and getting nothing accomplished each day.  Are you getting help for your depression?  Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain.  Getting a handle on that will make the rest a bit easier.  My suggestion is to "forgive" those who have hurt you.  You don't have to tell them, just forgive them in your heart.  It can be as easy as saying over and over "I forgive him/her (or state their name)" over and over.  Eventually you will start to feel it.

Sometimes I feel resentful about rich people that are able to afford to produce songs. Like I end up getting upset because they have the money to produce music, and can't sell anything for the life of them. All the while knowing that if I had the money to at least produce one song, I would have no problem out selling major label artists with my eyes closed hands tied behind my back. But because I'm poor, I'm not able to produce anything. I don't know how to break out of these thought patterns and just focus on pursuing my career and taking over the music industry. My past, being poor, and the "reality" in front of me is what I end up focusing on. And I don't know how to shift to more positive focus.  My suggestion would be to "forgive" these people first.  Then you may want to consider making a list of all the things in your life that you are grateful for.  "I am grateful for my ability to write music" (a lot of people, myself included, couldn't write a song to save their lives. "I am grateful for my ability to enjoy music so much" " I am grateful for this beautiful day"... These are just a few but you can state whatever you are truly grateful for.  The idea goes back to the basics of LOA.  "like" attracts "like" the more you are grateful for what you do have the more things will be brought into your life to be grateful for.

Being alone is another thing that often gets to me. Because of my self neglect, I tend to have low self esteem. Sometimes when I'm with girls, I don't think they'll be interested in me because I'm poor and overweight. Not to mention depressed and not very active in getting my life together. I know in my heart that I have a level of intelligence and abilities that all the money in the world couldn't buy. Yet it doesn't really make me feel much better.  All this means is you have a lot of negative energy to release.  This may help.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sLaPUppAxo&list=WLF6669FD7E88CD9CD&index=1&feature=plpp_video

I'd say that abundance to me is about: Consistently taking care of myself. Exercising. Eating right. Being happy. Producing and releasing my music. Consistently uploading vids on my YouTube dedicated to my music, acting skits, my philosophies, etc. Cultural rebirth, technology, world peace. Having lots of people in my life that care for and are interested in everything I'm about and everything I'm doing.  Then may I suggest you state the following when you start to feel low... "I am already a successfully financially abundant music artist at the true level of my being and being a successfully financially abundant music artist NOW manifests in my physical world."

I would also recommend you listen to the following EVERY night before bed. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7dEkWvqrlA&list=FLnBDT1ODm-LCip0Iym6RogQ&index=9&feature=plpp_video

   This will help raise your vibration. 

Lots of Love and the VERY BEST of LOA to you!

[crimson]

I will. Thank you!!

I was listening to Esther Hicks audio book. I guess I could say she was telling me to disassociate myself with all these things that are affecting "me". All these thoughts of all the injustice and negative aspects of my life are offerings that will attract more of it. I want to learn how to overcome that type of thinking and learn how to deliberately offer thoughts that will yield the types of vibrations that make my life experience a better place.

[schenderson22]

keep me updated.  I absolutely LOVE seeing others succeed in their conscious manifestations.

[crimson]

OK. I will. Today I started my fast, and got alot done today that I was putting off for awhile. It's going ok. Was able to meditate, and refocus on positive. One of the things that keeps coming up is my situation. And every time I think about it, and talk about my circumstance, it affects me alot. I hope to do whatever I can to disassociate from it.

[crimson]

Hi everyone. It's my 2nd day of juice fasting. I didn't post anything in the weight loss thread because I feel it would be redundant. This thread is about everything in my life including losing weight and getting in shape. I do have a problem though. I have never really been in shape in my entire life so I don't know what it's like. I never participated in athletics growing up. The most exercise I've done in my life is drinking water and dance practice. I've always been skinny and frail.

So I do visualize myself with a thin, and nicely toned body. However, my mind takes over telling me that I've tried so many times and lost alot of money in gym membership tying and failing to get fit. I know I have lots of confidence in losing the pounds, and being thin again. Yet I want to develop long distance running, and physique. Eventually get into gymnastics. I actually subscribe to email about doing gymnastics such as this: http://wipfit.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/manna.jpeg

So intellectual stuff is a breeze for me, and so is dance and learning various skills. However, I'm not sure how to get my mind interested and focused in what I want to be able to do in terms of physical development, running, and gymnastics. Currently, I'm weak. I can barely do a few push ups. And I suffer from upper neck/back pains because of weak upper neck/shoulder/back muscles. So my habits of being depressed about all my life problems, drowning myself in movies/shows/video games, overeating nonstop junk foods, don't really help with this problem other than to make it worse.

Also, do you think I'll survive my juice detox without caving in to cravings of junk foods?

Thanks!

[iloverainbows]

Hey friend Crimson I'd like to help you here like you helped me in my thread. It sounds like you are really practiced at some of the things I need to learn - and when I read your thread I see that I may be more practiced at some of what you are wanting to get better at. So I hope I can help

You seem to be suffering from really low self-esteem and self-hatred even. That's why being overweight, poor and (as you see it) disadvantaged stings so much. It sounds like you've had some pretty unhealthy relationships in the past, so it's understandable that you're so mistrustful of people. I mean in your post here (and even in your post to me), you talked a lot about all the bad things that other people have done to you. You didn't say much about people you like...

I'm sort of thinking out loud in my typing here, working through what you've said. It's possible to be fat, poor and still love yourself and have amazing friendships and relationships. Take it from someone who is currently releasing 60 pounds of weight and has only just started maifesting the monies Having great friendships, great sex, great teachers, great relationships with your family (inherited or chosen) has zilch to do with excess fat or bank balance. It's all to do with you and how you feel about people and yourself.

When you've been in abusive relationships in the past, especially from family, its easy to not trust people and not feel great about yourself. You can work through that and heal it and come out the other side. I know because I've been there, where you are. But those abusive things were not your fault, and you deserve to live a life free from them. That requires you to work through them though, which I know you can do. That's probably why you've been having the junk food and computer games, to numb that pain. It's so brave and good on you that you've started to look inside instead *HUGS*

Once you start feeling better about people and yourself, it will be easier to manifest the money, the computer, the car, the weight-loss. I mean, yes, you can do it now...but it's a bigger jump. Or, you can focus on healing the underlying wound in you - which sounds like its a deep mistrust and hurt at the world for how its treated you. Then once you heal that, you emerge into a loving, kinder world...and its a much easier jumping off-place to manifest all the other kaloobie.

I agree that some help for depression would be good, if you're not getting it already. That doesn't make you weak, by the way. I had depression for three years and some good counselling for a year was what helped me out of it. Some stuff runs deep and it helps to talk it through with someone who is trained to help, especially if your family have been abusive, that can cause some deep hurts that need to be worked through before you can truly be free.

But in the meantime...(please do get some help)...in the meantime, try spending time with people you like and who make you feel good and valued. And when you're with them, focus on the aspects of them which you like. Compliment them on those aspects even, and give the compliment generously and with love. It's a good practice to get into, focusing only on the aspects of people which make you feel good. They shift before your eyes in a few weeks or less even. And for now, avoid the ones with the control dramas (that's all posinous people are, people still acting out of unhealthy control dramas...best to avoid them for now). But try not to really think about them too much while you're avoiding them, at least try not to obsess about them.

Spend as much time as you can with good and GREAT friends, you need something to replace the stuff you've been using to stuff the pain down. And be prepared that when you stop stuffing the pain down it will come out, so be ready to cry, rage, talk...just spend time with people who make you feel GOOD.

Oh and by all means become healthier if you want, but you don't need to do that to get girls. I for one think a bit of chubbyness on a guy is HUGELY attractive. So don't think all girls are out there looking for a guy with a platinum credit card and a six-pack. Most girls couldn't care less about that stuff actually, unless they're the seriously shallow and boring kind. And I think someone as smart and interesting as you would get bored with a shallow and boring girl anyway, yes?

I'm going to write some more after a time, but in the meantime could you please PM me the link to the emails you get about gymnastics? Because I want to sign up too x

[iloverainbows]

Also, you can write down all the things you love about you and read it back to yourself. When you look in the mirror, just focus on those aspects you LOVE (like when I had lots of spots on my face, I used to look in the mirror and go WOW I HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYES! and MY LIPS ARE SO KISSABLE!).

And then you can write really kind notes to yourself and stick them up all over the place...like get post-its and write 'wow you're sexy' and 'hellloooo handsome!!!' and stick them on your mirror, and 'i'm such an amazing person, i love being me!' and stick it to your ceiling above your bed so it's the first thing you see in the morning...i covered my home in those notes recently and felt AMAZING after 2 weeks! people were treating me SO GOOD after knowing im amazing and beautiful became totally ingrained

[crimson]

Ya I need to remind myself of alot of good things. I spent my life in pretty much a consistent level of depression with negligible levels of higher vibration. I would like to feel higher vibrations more often. Being in higher vibration frequencies and positive emotions would help alot with my ability to attract the life I've always wanted, and never came close to.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

How do you define Indigo?

[crimson]

There's alot of different takes on it. Like people with ADD and whatever. I don't see it that way. I see it as people who were put here specifically to systematically dismantle the current global infrastructure that functions against the vibrational state of the planet and all beings. Then, to establish a model that effectively supports inner and outer wellness for all. It's some kind of prophesy.

So there are all kinds of people out there who really want to help. Like my friend just wants to live a life where he feels like he's contributing to something good in an environment that contributes to his health and happiness. Instead, he works really hard at his shitty job that treats him like dirt, is sick all the time, and can't afford decent foods, decent treatment, or anything. So he basically wants to be happy worker living a happy life, but is instead working hard to barely survive in an environment that treats him like trash.

My friend isn't an architect or social engineer, and has no interested in designing and implementing the system that would make him happy. That's what Indigos are for. We're the ones who have chosen to arrive in order to take that responsibility or burden. So just speaking for myself as an Indigo, it's not a burden. It's something that just comes naturally to me, and something I live for. In fact it's actually more of a burden for me to not be consistently waking up in the morning, and spending my days doing what's most important for me, and what will benefit all.

I'll make a new post for something I wrote earlier about some of the things I'm going through personally. Being Indigo, and not really functioning as an Indigo. And existing in an environment where I have nobody to talk to. I even joined an Indigo forum which turned out to be a really bad troll infested environment. The last place I would recommend for any Indigo who is going through alot of problems.

[crimson]

Probably the biggest source of negativity for me each day is having nobody to talk to about my life. My family is an enormous negative influence that I try to stay away from. But even pretty much all of my friends are sources of negative influence. I can't talk to them, and it can be very hard on me. Thankfully, at least I have a bunch of strangers online that I can share my life with. Sometimes it's so hard for me to understand the people around me because I don't treat others the way I'm treated. In fact, it's such a huge thing in front of me, that it's difficult to not focus on it. Therefore, I end up attracting more of it.

I love performing. It's like breathing for me. If I'm not doing it, my life tends to be hell. And because I'm not doing it, I'm trying to work on shifting my feelings to heaven instead of feeling like hell so that I can attract an abundant life of doing what I love most. The thing is that it's not just about the love of doing it. For me, the entertainment industry is a tool. Everything works out so unbelievably perfectly. Because the thing I love doing so much and so effortlessly, is also extremely practical for what I know and understand I was put here for.

I really don't believe it's some coincidence that I'm also extremely good at many things that make me extremely good at designing new and better living environments for humankind. So while performing is all a means. The end has always been independent city state (or more specifically city states). Completely autonomous from any country or government. The entertainment industry is not just a platform for something I love and relish doing with every fiber of my being. It's also a means for raising support financially and socially for creating better social/political designs for world peace. Hence the title of this thread. Cultural Rebirth. It's about a complete cultural paradigm shift in the way cities and social systems are planned and operated.

All of this is what I know I was put here for, and it is also everything I want more than anything. So while I live daily in poverty surrounded by negative influences who I cannot communicate with regarding what my entire life is devoted to, all I want to do is learn how to overcome being upset about it. And thus, be able to attract more financial support, more moral support, and everything I need to do what my entire life is about.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Where did you get the term "indigo" and who told you, you were an "Indigo?" 

My understanding of "Indigo" and yours are vastly different.  I am a true "Indigo" and what you are describing is NOT a true description of an "Indigo."  I suggest you might do some more research on the subject or go back for further explanation from the person who told you they thought you are an "Indigo." 

Indigo children
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Indigo children
Terminology
Coined by   Nancy Ann Tappe
Definition   A group of children supposedly possessing special traits; beliefs about the traits vary from paranormal abilities (e.g., ESP) to simply being more confident and sensitive.
Signature   An indigo colored aura
Status   Pseudoscience
See also   Auras

Indigo children is a pseudoscientific[1] label given to children who are claimed to possess special, unusual and/or supernatural traits or abilities. The idea is based on New Age concepts developed in the 1970s by Nancy Ann Tappe. The concept of indigo children gained popular interest with the publication of a series of books in the late 1990s and the release of several films in the following decade. A variety of books, conferences and related materials have been created surrounding belief in the idea of indigo children and their nature and abilities. These beliefs range from their being the next stage in human evolution or possessing paranormal abilities such as telepathy to the belief that they are simply more empathic and creative than their peers.

Although there are no scientific studies to give credibility to the existence of any indigo children, or their traits, the phenomenon appeals to some parents whose children have been diagnosed with learning disabilities and parents seeking to believe that their children are special. This is viewed by skeptics as a way for parents to avoid proper (and generally pharmaceutical) pediatric treatment or a psychiatric diagnosis which implies imperfection. The list of traits used to describe the children has also been criticized for being vague enough to be applied to almost anyone, a form of the Forer effect. The phenomenon has been criticized as a means of making money from credulous parents through the sales of related products and services.

[crimson]

children
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Indigo children
Terminology
Coined by   Nancy Ann Tappe
Definition   A group of children supposedly possessing special traits; beliefs about the traits vary from paranormal abilities (e.g., ESP) to simply being more confident and sensitive.
Signature   An indigo colored aura
Status   Pseudoscience
See also   Auras

Indigo children is a pseudoscientific[1] label given to children who are claimed to possess special, unusual and/or supernatural traits or abilities. The idea is based on New Age concepts developed in the 1970s by Nancy Ann Tappe. The concept of indigo children gained popular interest with the publication of a series of books in the late 1990s and the release of several films in the following decade. A variety of books, conferences and related materials have been created surrounding belief in the idea of indigo children and their nature and abilities. These beliefs range from their being the next stage in human evolution or possessing paranormal abilities such as telepathy to the belief that they are simply more empathic and creative than their peers.

Although there are no scientific studies to give credibility to the existence of any indigo children, or their traits, the phenomenon appeals to some parents whose children have been diagnosed with learning disabilities and parents seeking to believe that their children are special. This is viewed by skeptics as a way for parents to avoid proper (and generally pharmaceutical) pediatric treatment or a psychiatric diagnosis which implies imperfection. The list of traits used to describe the children has also been criticized for being vague enough to be applied to almost anyone, a form of the Forer effect. The phenomenon has been criticized as a means of making money from credulous parents through the sales of related products and services.

This is not completely accurate. Learning disabilities aren't specifically attributed to Indigos. Indigos are more susceptible to a wide variety of problems because of what they are. My description is based on facts about what Nancy Tappe and others describe. There is a chance that you might not be an Indigo, but something else. Considering my description is what Indigos are about. You're research is likely incorrect.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

That isn't my only research and you are incorrect. 

You do not have my abilities and I have had my abilities since childhood.  I communicate with the spirit world, I have spirit guides and I am an intuitive empath......I have many other abilities.  I have a calling, a purpose. 

I think I would know better than you that I am and have always been a true "Indigo" although I hate that term. 

And you never did tell me "who" told you or why you think you are an "indigo?" 

You think that because you want to "help" people that makes you an "indigo?"  Many people find it their mission to help people, fire fighters, police officers, social workers, etc.......  Just because you want to help people, it does not make you an "Indigo." 

Here is the other thing, most true Indigos are guided through their life, they have a purpose and most know what it is (beyond helping other people, it's more specific) and you don't seem to have a clue.  You have this "victim mentality" like life is happening to you and you are NOT in the drivers seat.  You seem lost and without guidance. 

I am VERY glad you are here, you have come to a great place and resource for help and guidance but you might want to "re-think" the "Indigo" label you have given yourself because so far nothing you have mentioned in any of your posts other than just being and thinking you are one has supported that you actually are a true "Indigo."