Well, sometimes, maybe all the time, whether something is "negative" or "positive" depends on how we interpret it. For example, i've made some unhealthy decisions in life, and now i have a family member who often asks me about my behavior, and he's sometimes rather invasive. It was annoying for a while, and i considered him to be a negative person. But i realized that his questions are actually an expression of love, as best as he knows how to offer it. My task is to learn to love him back, and to be there for him, at least in the sense of having loving thoughts and nonjudgmental attitudes toward him. Also being helpful to him whenever possible.
And guess what? When i changed my attitude and began 1. making healthy decisions for myself and 2. opening up and just letting myself accept this person--not necessarily to spend more time with him, but just not viewing him as "bad" or "negative," he actually started to change! Either that, or i just began to notice many positive things about him that my judgmental attitude had blinded me to. Actually, i think it may have been the latter--the more i think about it, the more i realize he is a great person in many, many ways.
With other people, who, for example, have come across as emotionally abusive, I've simply been polite, etc, and their vibe pretty much drove them away, so that they ended the friendship themselves because of my annoying kindness.
That's an ideal, of course. I strive to be like that more and more. It can be tough not stooping down to someone's level when they are trying to suck you into drama, like the "blame game," or gossip, or petty arguments, or physical violence. Being centered, keeping your physiology/body language/"inner game" positive (good posture, proper exercise, diet, making sure to smile and laugh and be happy for other people's successes) can go a long way to help transform the circumstances and people in your life
May this be helpful!
June 19, 2012, 02:06:49 AM
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