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Author Topic: He is going to Japan with his girlfriend of 18 months so is this it forever?  (Read 3864 times)

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Offline siamesegirl

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Well, my ex is still with his girlfriend of 18 months, he has passed his exams and he is as a result going to Japan with her.  I have read so many things on here, and tried to remain positive, and I still want to be positive.  But I can't see that when he is there with her I will ever cross his mind - or that he would reply to any texts I sent him, if he hasn't changed his number - I haven't contacted him for so long.  Ironically it was only because of me that he managed to get on his university course, leading to him passing it and going to Japan in the first place.  So by that I have pushed him away!!

He has written "I'm so happy that I'm going with Becca" so this looks like the real thing to me.  Also, whilst I supported him in what he wanted to do I had no particular interest in Japanese culture myself, so does this mean that we are not aligned or whatever and would never come together in the future?  Seen so many loved up pictures of the two of them, it really makes me feel a loser. 

I'm very upset so please don't get cross with me as I can't bear "pull yourself together" stuff.  But I find it hard to understand how we could ever meet up again now. 

Thanks xx

Offline Coquette

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Thank you for sharing your story Siamesegirl. You think you guys will never meet again? "never" sounds finite. We live in a universe of infinite possibilities. :)

Offline kitten7

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Hugs to you!

My suggestion is not to worry about what the ex and his girlfriend are doing... What are *you* doing.. what are *you* attracting for *you*?? Why not have a go at dating others and living up life - travel to a place that you do have interest in! ;)


Offline lucymable

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Well, my ex is still with his girlfriend of 18 months, he has passed his exams and he is as a result going to Japan with her.  I have read so many things on here, and tried to remain positive, and I still want to be positive.  But I can't see that when he is there with her I will ever cross his mind - or that he would reply to any texts I sent him, if he hasn't changed his number - I haven't contacted him for so long.  Ironically it was only because of me that he managed to get on his university course, leading to him passing it and going to Japan in the first place.  So by that I have pushed him away!!

He has written "I'm so happy that I'm going with Becca" so this looks like the real thing to me.  Also, whilst I supported him in what he wanted to do I had no particular interest in Japanese culture myself, so does this mean that we are not aligned or whatever and would never come together in the future?  Seen so many loved up pictures of the two of them, it really makes me feel a loser. 

I'm very upset so please don't get cross with me as I can't bear "pull yourself together" stuff.  But I find it hard to understand how we could ever meet up again now. 

Thanks xx

I will try my very best not to do the 'pull yourself together' stuff as I understand you're upset and I'd hate to make you feel worse.

I think the best thing you can do here, is just be happy for this guy and his girl. This is obviously their time. It's not to say you won't ever come together in the future, but right now, you do have to accept that they are together and happy, and if you do truly care for this man, you will be pleased for him!

I won't attempt to deny that this might be hurting you - I know I'd feel torn if I saw my guy with another, but if I saw that it was serious, and he was happy then in some ways it'd actually help me move on and have a stronger desire to find something like that of my own.

There is any amount of possibility in the future, it is not unheard of for people to go their separate ways, become involved with others and then reunite again.

For now, focus on yourself and your happiness and believe that things will work out :)

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Offline sh-boom

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never say never! (except if youre saying never say never haha)

Offline Free bird

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u have to believe in magic dear..........i m nt going to ask to be too hopefull, but stop looking at his post........go for a complete cut off from his world............desire wat u want and then get busy in ur world...............and let the universe do its magic :)

Offline ellebelle

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You have to be strong siamesegirl. Admittedly, this must be quite an upsetting situation for you, but please do not worry. Think of this as an opportunity to grow as a person, experience new things and do what YOU want. You will miss him, but I know that you can get through this. After all, Japan is a very cramped and compact place, he might not enjoy it as much as he thinks he will if he's staying for a long time.

He is out enjoying his life and you need to do what's right by you and do the same! Do not put your life on hold for him. This is not forever, you have so much happiness in store for you. You might not see it yet, but you will be OKAY.

Lots of love and we are all here for you.  :-*


Offline karaheissman

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In this world and with the law of attraction,anything can happen.  ;) So stay positive. I agree with what everyone that the best thing that you should be doing right now is to detach yourself from him--acknowledge, accept and let go of your feelings. I know this is easier said than done, but you can surely do it, if you want to. If he is happily living his life without you, then it's probably unfair that you live your life in sadness because of him. There is no telling whether the two of you will get back together in the future or not, but you certainly won't attract him back into your life if you live in despair. If you have been following LOA correctly, then you must know that detachment rather than fixation or obsession will help bring your ex back.

Instead of worrying about whether the two of you will get back together or not, use your energy in more positive things. Focus on becoming a better person or better yet, the best person you can be. By becoming an amazing you, you are sure to attract a man who will give you the love and happiness that you deserve. Who knows, that man may just be your ex--or an even someon better!

Lovelots,
Kara  :-*

Offline I Love Rainbows

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Hi there,
Your thread has been playing on my mind. I'm going to give you some straight-talking LOA shit.

First, I don't often disagree with  people on here - but I disagree with this advice from lucymable:

Quote
'I think the best thing you can do here, is just be happy for this guy and his girl. This is obviously their time. It's not to say you won't ever come together in the future, but right now, you do have to accept that they are together and happy, and if you do truly care for this man, you will be pleased for him! '


*If something is making you miserable, it is a total waste of time and energy to try and coerce your emotions into feeling good about something you feel *shit* about. You and I both know that no amount of self-talking and trying to guilt yourself into playing the martyr is gonna make you feel better about *them*. There are plenty of things to feel good about - you don't have to feel good about them being together, to feel good! What you need to do is, find honest emotional perspectives on things that give you relief from where you currently are. That may involve focusing on things other than him for the moment or it may involve visualising the two of you together or a combo of both.*

Well, my ex is still with his girlfriend of 18 months


Stop calling him your ex. Stop calling her 'his girlfriend' - in fact, in your mind, she doesn't even exist. She's a nothing, not relevant to your current, vibrational aspirations and wants. When you refer to him on here or in your mind, he is your lover, your boyfriend. If you *have* to depict that 'in current physical reality, the relationship that is in the vortex for you two is not seen', call him your future lover or your soul-mate.

*Remember, one person with concious, focused attention who KNOWS and USES LOA to CONCIOUSLY CREATE their dream-life - is tens of THOUSANDS times more powerful than a million who do NOT. You are the most powerful person here! Not her. Not him. YOU. It doesn't matter what current reality 'looks like'. Shift your focus...shift your vibration...AND REALITY AS YOU SEE IT WILL SHIFT.*



YOU FULLY HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE WORLDS!



I still want to be positive.


Good. Read my responses. Then go straight to the thread I link you to at the end of this post - and use it
But


NO BUTS!!!
YES HE WILL THINK OF YOU.
Use remote seduction technique as well as the techniques listed in the thread I post you to.
Remote seduction can be found HERE --->
api.ning.com/files/GeEbDlX55ZZP3vcOuNPHRKrJzVd*rkxJs81uNoNWK5AIpW-JYiV-lzbnua8ugqw7Bd8S0hEjNgBtHrRn3ETCHKiOOIJwQgiZ/RemoteSeduction.mp3

Ironically it was only because of me that he managed to get on his university course, leading to him passing it and going to Japan in the first place.  So by that I have pushed him away!!


The way the universe works is CONSTANTLY FULL OF UNEXPECTED TWISTS AND TURNS. What is meant by that is, that if you could see how interconnected everything is - what will lead to what - what will prevent what from happening - it would explode your mind.



^^ THIS PERSON JUST SAW HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS ^^

What you are seeing right now - your 'current reality' - is just a SMALL, TINY FRACTION OF WHAT IS IN THIS SITUATION. You *cannot* KNOW everything that will or will not happen, as a result of a particullar action. Just as an example - it *may* be that if you'd have stayed together with him, you both would have broken up by now had so many fights in the meantime you never got back together. It may be that if he had not gone to university, he wouldn't have met 'that professor' who later on, will be the one who says something that makes him realise his heart's desire is to be with you. it may be that you're the only one who really shows faith in him - and that 'she' does not is the reason he'll finally break up with her, bcause he'll be comparing her to you. It may be that on the plane to Japan, she has sex with the cute cabin boy and your lover catches them and that's how he knows she's not right for him.

You do not *know* that he is going for 18 months. All you know is that your current reality is aligned in such a way so that his current intent *appears* to be to do that. And you do not *know* that he *is* really happy - all you know is, he posted that on Facebook. The face a relationship puts on to the outside world *certainly may not be all there is to it*. You don't see the fights, the anger between them. Their relationship might be total crap! You have no way of knowing.

LOA Lesson: you cannot KNOW what will lead to what if you use your head. So instead of playing the 'coulda, shoulda, woulda' game, which will lead to you going crazy and depressed, learn to tune into your amazing emotional guidance system and use your feelings as a basis for making all decisions and learning all outcomes.

Do not concern yourself with what physical reality 'looks like'.
If you feel good, you're gonna like what's coming.
If you feel bad, you won't.
It's that simple.

WATCH THIS:
Abraham Hicks - Find Any Reason To Feel Good


Also, whilst I supported him in what he wanted to do I had no particular interest in Japanese culture myself, so does this mean that we are not aligned or whatever and would never come together in the future?


No it does not mean that.

Many lovers have interests that diverge. How aligned you are is not based on whether one of you likes a culture and the other doesn't. HOWEVER, that you supported him so much MAY be a clue that you need to balance it out and support YOU more. Get passionate about the things that REALLY matter to you. NOT at the expense of caring about him, BUT AS WELL AS. It sends the Universe the message to it about yourself 'I AM WORTHY'



Seen so many loved up pictures of the two of them, it really makes me feel a loser.


STOP LOOKING AT HIS FACEBOOK PAGE!

1. Facebook is addictive anyway
2. It's gonna make you feel anxious and sick
3. You need to MINIMISE the impact of that vibration in your life!

Defriend him, block him, deactivate your account, start a brand new profile and only add your NOW friends and NOW photos on there. Do one or two or more of these. Then get yourself OFF the computer, GET OUTSIDE and start having fun! Make your own wonderful memories to share with your friends.

If you want to SHIFT your vibrational reality - stop putting yourself in a place where you can SEE the manifested evidence of your current vibrational reality - 'cause that will just keep bring you right back there!

Remember that you are a powerful manifesting being. You are a powerful manifesting being. You are a powerful manifesting being. You are a powerful manifesting being. You are a powerful manifesting being. YOU ARE A POWERFUL MANIFESTING BEING!

THE THREAD: This is one of *the best* threads on this forum.
Follow it  :) ---->
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/here-is-the-plan-i-promisesd-you/
« Last Edit: July 27, 2012, 07:27:18 AM by iloverainbows »

Offline makrsy

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Hi, I'm  new here but I've recently been through a break up as well, my first actually  :) So after the breakup, I read up a lot on the law of attraction, and it actually worked out for me so I hope my advice will help :)

Everyone seems to be giving you the same advice, but only because it's true. First of all, you really do need to stop stalking him and checking up on him. When you keep track of what he's doing, you're giving off a certain kind of energy, and trust me he can feel it. No one likes the feeling that someone is checking up on them, and i'm sure your ex is the same. So my advice is to turn off all notifications from his FB wall, and try to impose some self control. I know it's easier said than done but trust me it's for the best. See, my ex actually thought i would be stalking his wall, so he posted lots of love quotes and he flirted with girls who commented on his posts just to "make me move on". I did myself a favour by actually distancing myself from his FB wall, because i know that if I had seen those posts, I would have just become my old depressed self again. So while he was doing all those on FB, I was focusing on renewing myself and thankfully I didn't come across those posts until I was strong enough to take it. And when I was strong enough, I think i channeled a certain sort of energy that drew him back to me. He contacted me and he was pretty upset and said he was being too dramatic by trying to make me move on and he regretted it.

So anyway, the point is, to make your ex want you back, you have to become the person he first fell in love with. Bring back that energy. As long as you're still keeping track of his activities, you're not giving yourself the space to bring yourself back first. Right now, he probably still feels like he has an edge over you. Take that away from him. Make sure that everything you do now is to make yourself happy. If it motivates you, you can also tell yourself that by going out, socializing and meeting new friends, news will somehow spread to him that you are happy without him and you've moved on. Male psychology will work on him and he'll be curious as to why you suddenly don't need him in your life anymore. This will make him interested and intrigued. And that will be the first step.

But the key to this is that you have to genuinely be happy. Because when he is curious and comes back to initiate contact, you need him to feel your new energy. You have to make sure that you are truly fine without him because that would give off the strongest and most attractive energy that he will indeed pick up on. I read this somewhere on Google, and it says "When you pine or long for someone, you're not vibrating love. You're just indulging in a pity party of one. But when you truly love someone, what does it matter where he is, what he's doing and who he's with?" Since he has had a gf for so long and you're still in love with him, it shows that you truly do love him and it's not just fear that's guiding you. So now, all you have to do is stop the longing and stop feeling sorry for yourself because the law of attraction will just work in a way that will give you more to feel sorry about. Just release into the universe that you love him, and that you are deserving of love. And then just start to love yourself. When you start to love yourself, other objects and people in the universe will start to be attracted and they will love you the same way you love yourself.

I hope this helps you! Stay strong  ;) I've survived it and so can you  :D




Offline siamesegirl

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Thank you all of you I am going to have a good read and digest these in the sun.  xx <3 xx

Offline siamesegirl

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Update
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2012, 05:12:22 AM »
http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-for-relationship-6/he-is-going-to-japan-with-his-girlfriend-of-18-months-so-is-this-it-forever/msg63698/#msg63698

My original post ^^


I'm reading all the comments everyone left me - along with a very hectic and busy time at home and work and looking for a new job! - thank you all very much.  Things generally for me have been very very positive and I have seen much improvement in other stuff going on in my own life.  As for Ryan - both he and the girlfriend are doing the mandatory study year in Japan, but she went on Sunday (he took her to the airport and said "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times") and he goes next week.  They are studying at universities 400 miles apart. He has commented that they are at different universities because "she is smarter than me" and "the space will give us room to grow". 

I admit to looking at his facebook page but that was only to find out if and when he was leaving the country.  I'm not obsessing, honestly I am not.  I am considering texting him to say good luck, but not sure.  What do you think?

Thanks xx

Offline siamesegirl

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This popped up under the "Related Topics" menu at the bottom of the screen when I was looking at another post. I wrote all this stuff seven years ago. The forum was a very different place then. No smart alecs, and none of the posters on this original thread are still around.

We never did meet again or even communicate again. Actually that isn't strictly true; he ignored a couple of texts and a LinkedIn message I sent him - one LinkedIn message and two texts in six years! This relationship discussed here with the girl in question ended and he met someone else when he moved to Canterbury - he has now bought a house with another woman - much younger, she looks like Alice in Wonderland! - so there is no question that we would ever get together, or ever meet, again. He clearly had no interest in ever bothering to even be in touch, so neither have I. Occasionally I still feel a little cross about this and that he used me, as my friend said to me. But he is the past now and I have learned from it. I am more interested in what caused me to be so hung up on him than what he felt.

And of course, the relationship with the Japan woman didn't last either, so things evolve and change.

It is very interesting to read this and look back on it.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2019, 04:37:44 PM by siamesegirl »

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Offline ThomasHunt

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And of course, the relationship with the Japan woman didn't last either, so things evolve and change.

It is very interesting to read this and look back on it.

So even though he broke up with the woman who took him away from you, he didn't come back to you. He went with someone else instead, again. So this is an loa failure.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

Offline siamesegirl

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Well she didn't actually take him away from me, that had happened before he met her.

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