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Author Topic: How to forgive myself?  (Read 1768 times)

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Offline I AM LOVE!

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How to forgive myself?
« on: October 07, 2020, 03:16:43 PM »
It has been a really long long time I posted anything here or came back on this forum..probably 7+ years but today I felt compelled to write here after trying to forgive myself for so long.

I met a friend here on this forum when I started in 2012 and she and I were both in the same boat,had similar priorities and were trying to manifest similar things in life.God I feel so stupid to even think about a time when my relationship with a ex took over everything in my life.Anyways long story short..I genuinely cared for this person but somehow towards the end of 2013 I ended up saying some nasty things to her.I dont even remenber what exactly but the much I remember they were nasty and would have impacted the person who one calls a friend (and I know the friendship was pretty genuine from her side too).Naturally we stopped talking and life moved ahead and this thought of hurting her came to my mind several times during the year and I would end up feeling shit.It was hard for me to accept and feel responsible..I came from a place of hurting her,trying to justify my behaviour in my head to feeling guilty and finally feeling the loss of a genuine friendship in life.3 years back I tried connecting with the person but since they were not ready to connect back with me..I thought of giving it a bit more time.Not to mention she would come to my mind often in last 3 years and Yesterday again I felt some strong reason to connect with her and somehow I did reach out to her despite her changing her no and we not connected across any social media platforms.She has still not reverted to my messages and normally I would feel shit if people do this to me cz there is a big ego crush that happens but I am just feeling sad of having lost this person from my life probably forever..I dont feel so much guilty as I feel sad about it...I understand that while I may be ready to ask for forgiveness,the other person may not have..and its a right resting with them.
And I feel genuinely stuck with the loss...Is there a way I can make peace with her not forgiving me ever and with the loss of this friendship?
« Last Edit: October 07, 2020, 06:33:08 PM by I AM LOVE! »
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Offline possum-power

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2020, 02:52:12 PM »
I think in your one question you summed up all human meaning  :-*: love, loss... Healing (and how the heck to!), And becoming whole.

It's probably hard to forgive her if you're feeling angry. Anyone would feel angry at being ignored. Actually ghosting is a very real form of abuse.

So I guess that number one is accepting that you feel angry. And that you're right to.

Step number two, understanding that she feels hurt. Knowing that she has her reasons. Accepting she's not going to contact you  :'(

Step number three. Loving and nurturing yourself. Feeling when you feel good, and building on that... Those moments. Making them increase slowly.

And focusing on relationships where you are valued and where people love you. And don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Good luck xxxx
Ps loved your post ❤️

Offline I AM LOVE!

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2020, 12:33:13 AM »
Thank you for taking out the time to read and revert on my post.It felt genuinely good to be heard and responded to...
I think it will be correct to say I dont feel angry..I dont feel guilty..
I just feel sad at loosing this person from my life but I also am happy that she is at a good place (judging from her recent professional accomplishments mentioned on linkedin)
In fact if truth be told I do hope at some point in our lives we get a chance to revive our friendship.I know am a good friend now..much better one n have a lot to offer.

Offline possum-power

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2020, 02:55:37 AM »
:)
Well hey you might be right about future friendship. Actually it's nice you say that as I've got someone I went out with ages ago, who I hope one day might wish to be friends again. He meant a lot to me.
I got a friend request from him a couple of months ago but when I followed the link it was broken. It seems he changed his mind :-(
I tried messaging but he never answered.
All I can do us think lovely thoughts of him...dream (happens a lot he's in them) ..let go of feeling sad, and just let it be and feel good.
Is hard. but my life's quite ok so hey ..

Offline possum-power

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2020, 03:01:35 AM »
What was so terrible you did, that needs forgiveness? If you don't mind me asking, that is. Don't worry if too personal.

Is it maybe you feel you need her forgiveness to forgive yourself?

(I feel this might be the case with the person I mentioned...feels like something still open, still to be resolved, if it makes sense..)

Offline I AM LOVE!

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2020, 11:57:48 AM »
So I was in a shitty place that involved my ex bf,his family,my family and they were telling us how I am not a good fit for their clan as my family is financially dependent on me n how they are not okay with it n how they have already seen a girl for my ex bf.
The same instance my friend messaged me and she has a little commenting nature I feel..like I know her and took me long time to realize that she is a bit too direct that may b mistaken for harshness.. anyway so her message n I snapped big time ended up telling her to mind her own business..first see things in her life n then comment of others.See it's my perspective and may be it will come across like am not wrong because you are hearing it from me n my side of things..but I just cudnt come to the terms of hurting my friend back then.
Like I said a relationship took over all other relationships.
Many many many good things came out of the shit phase also overall I just laugh now at what happened because not only I grew exponentially in terms of money,my family got settled and we are financially secured for this life but feels like hurting her is the last piece of my life that I cant get over with.
Edit -
Omg I just read a message from her back from 2013 1/2 months after I stopped talking to connect.Omg it was me who ghosted her in the first place.She must have felt terrible like I do now :(
Well i can only hope we can connect back soon when the time is right for both of us
« Last Edit: October 09, 2020, 12:34:08 PM by I AM LOVE! »

Offline possum-power

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2020, 12:11:40 AM »
I think given time and your feelings that it'll resolve. Awareness is everything.

Offline shawnr22

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2020, 11:47:01 PM »
Hi sorry to hear, for me I had to love myself unconditionally to the point that only myself love was able to forgive myself, and when i was aligned then i sent out my apology to my friend, we all make mistakes in life, that is a learning tool that we all have to learn to accept, and once we accept our mistake then that is when our world will change.
life is all about learning and growing spiritually. once you get into that higher vibration anything is possible.

if you need someone to talk to i am here for you,
I Love you and sending you positive vibrations   

Offline I AM LOVE!

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2020, 02:05:04 AM »
Thank you so much for ur kind words...you see my issue is am not troubled by the fact that we are not in talking terms but I wanted to connect in a very positive sense..what I mean is she had a lot to offer as a friend so did I.
i kinda miss living those moments



Offline shawnr22

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Re: How to forgive myself?
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2020, 11:44:55 PM »
I have been in your shoes before, and unfortunately both your vibrations came out of sync.
now you can change that and be aligned again.

Loving your self and learning to let go is the key,  i used to say this is not true and boy did i ever go down that rabbits hole.
and it took alot to get my mind right but now that i am so aligned that LOA works.

hope this helps. sending you positive vibrations. 

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