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Author Topic: What does it sound like I need to work on?  (Read 1946 times)

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Offline Ibbyliv

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What does it sound like I need to work on?
« on: October 23, 2019, 05:07:21 PM »
Hello friends! I had posted months ago since I'm in a long quest to heal my relationship with my ex. I have manifested wonders lately, and always when I feel good about myself, but the situation with him has not hatched yet since I am still very attached to the outcome and dealing with some leftover neediness, trying to place all the focus on myself and on being happy right now with my own life. I can't say I'm there yet but I feel like I've made significant progress compared to how I was a couple of months ago, let along six months ago. I am quite proud of myself but still experience anxiety when it comes to my love.
I had posted many times about not knowing if he was being honest about being over me. I had the issue of having trouble to live in the end because his claim that he had no feelings left for me kept blocking the way, so I tried to manifest knowing for sure that he had feelings for me even if we wouldn't get in a relationship yet, so that then I could focus better. For months it didn't work but then I traveled, let go some, and a series of crazy things happened that showed me that he is undoubtedly in love with me, which is spectacular! I somehow learnt that he feels longing but doesn't regret his decision and tries to supress his feelings and move on. Turns out learning this didn't fix my discipline problems though (obvsly). We were in complete no contact for so long and I have now managed to manifest almost daily contact, much of which is initiated by him, and I'm so excited about that, although many times he cuts and ghosts even the most enthusiastic conversation abruptly, as if he's scared of something. When our friends see us together they say we look like flirty teenagers who have just discovered their crush for each other. However he's made clear that he doesn't want anyone, any kind of relationship in his life (which is both good and bad), and he's also made clear that he doesn't ever want me again because of my neediness and possessiveness in the past. I know you can manifest everything but I'm experiencing the following blocks, and I'd love your opinion on how you would tackle them: First I have the idea that he's focusing on his life, growth and self love at this moment and so am I (or at least, trying my best to get there). That should feel wonderful to me for the both of us from an unconditional love POV, but it worries me because I had this remaining belief from when I'd suffocated him, that him being self loving is mutually exclusive from being with me again, since he knows I've been toxic in the past. Second, he reacted exactly the same way when he broke up with his first relationship, when I first met him. He was devastated and still had feelings but didn't express them to her and didn't regret his decision, until eventually he started going out with me and moved on, so now naturally I fear that even if he still has feelings for me, his logical mind will help him move on. What would you suggest to get over these issues? Affirmations?
« Last Edit: October 23, 2019, 05:10:48 PM by Ibbyliv »

Offline Alexbally

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2019, 02:34:35 AM »
I know you can manifest everything

No, you do not know because if you knew, you would not be here writing out this post. In truth, you know next to nothing.

The bits that you have not come to know yet are that you cannot and will not affect another person. Your efforts are as a self conditioning tool, these do not affect anyone else other than you.

Get over it. Move on. Hes not interested.

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Offline Ibbyliv

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2019, 05:47:22 AM »
If that was the case there wouldn't be all these success stories on here and on YouTube

Offline Alexbally

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2019, 06:24:34 AM »
And just how much truth is in them....
God only knows! 😉
Do not believe everything you read.

What you have not realised yet is that the opportunities are there - always have been, always will be, you just remain the same old Libby though who misses them and behaves the same, getting the same results.

Offline possum-power

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2019, 10:29:46 PM »
It seems to me what you need to work on is:
a) believing in yourself and
b) trusting it's going to be alright.

Once you just KNOW it's going to be alright, you will be the girl who he loves i.e. YOU but without the terrible hangups and insecurities, the possessiveness and the neediness. Your confidence and trust need building up.

So I guess the million-dollar question is HOW to work on those things. Hm.

Can I suggest observing each day when you feel best, when you feel okay - what's happening and who you're with. Whenever you feel great (or terrible) make a note. If it's depending on him - well, okay, just forgive yourself but try to temper it each time with e.g. calling up your friends instead, going out with them or round to a friend's house or for a walk (I include family and animals in the category of 'friends', minus that animals are unlikely to own their own home of course). Spend time in nature if it makes you feel good. Drink a glass of wine if it makes you feel good (and forgive yourself for 'needing' silly things). Listen to music, dance around your room. Um.

HOWEVER (here comes the health warning) it seems to me if he is an avoider and you are insecure, he might not be the ideal partner for you. I know it sounds odd but imo it's better to be with someone you adore a little less but who will be there for you, and who you can rely on to not shy off at important moments.

It would not surprise me at all if this love story ended with you being happy in yourself and with someone else, and him finally saying 'but I loved you all along'. But only when it's too late. And of course that would not have happened at all, if you had been all the time with him becoming more and more insecure every time he abandoned you emotionally.

You'll get the love you crave so badly, when you're being you and you're trusting. Trust me  :)
« Last Edit: October 24, 2019, 10:36:20 PM by possum-power »

Offline Alexbally

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2019, 11:27:11 PM »
It really is very simple; change your perception!
"Living in the end of the wish fulfilled" is doing precisely this objective for you. You presently see things as shit as you described and this brings you stress. Change this viewpoint to something more akin to that of your wish fulfilled and voila...the stress disappears.

Now, this will not make him fall head over heels for you but it will influence his perception of you and if there is a tiny amount of interest from him in this new perception then things may blossom. At the very least, your mental discomfort will dwindle.

You do not have to live in the end, just change how you see things and think about them.

Offline halouniverse

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Re: What does it sound like I need to work on?
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2020, 12:40:14 PM »
Ok..girl!!  Yes there is success stories on this forum and yes you have to think as you already have your love...you have to own him in your mind..no doubts..... Don't continue with plain beginners LOA..go for some advanced techniques with Lanie Stevens...you know the basic LOA..as I can see...You can get him!! Typical guy..responds emotionally..go advanced Lanie Stevens.. you're smarter than you think...Lanie will quadruple your LOA desire..you will be fine.. you will succeed in your desire..

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