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Author Topic: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself  (Read 822 times)

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Offline cochranizer

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I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« on: January 20, 2019, 08:33:18 PM »
I think I found the reason why I'm having trouble attracting what I want.

I've been through abuse, bullying, and a million other things that have made me develop the inability to love myself fully in life. And I just learned that Loving yourself = attracting more reasons to love life.

So my question is...what are ways to love myself more?  :'(

Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2019, 08:54:29 PM »
I think I found the reason why I'm having trouble attracting what I want.

I've been through abuse, bullying, and a million other things that have made me develop the inability to love myself fully in life. And I just learned that Loving yourself = attracting more reasons to love life.

So my question is...what are ways to love myself more?  :'(

I have fantastic news for you. You are completely wrong. You don't need to love yourself to get stuff from loa. You too drank the same soupafrog slop that I did and have been poisoned by this misinformation. MC Brighton set me right.

Why is this fantastic news ? Because you don't have to do all the complex psycho shit. You can just build faith. Much much simpler and actually works.

You only need to build that subconscious belief for that specific object person or experience that you desire. The fact is that when you work towards something that you desire, you ARE loving yourself. What more do you need ? How much more psychoanalysis is required here ?

Anyway, even if there are some psychological challenges interfering in your loa goal, as you build subconscious faith for your specific goal, and as it grows, these issues will be addressed and resolved along the way.

Please read my tadpole thread. It will take you half an hour to read through all the pages, but you will understand what I mean. Heck you can even join me and andre in our first deliberate LOA goal ! He's growing taller by 7 inches and I'm going on holiday to the Maldives !

Offline Superman

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2019, 09:10:03 PM »
I think I found the reason why I'm having trouble attracting what I want.

I've been through abuse, bullying, and a million other things that have made me develop the inability to love myself fully in life. And I just learned that Loving yourself = attracting more reasons to love life.

So my question is...what are ways to love myself more?  :'(

All those are not the cause of your lack of self love. But the lack of self love is the cause of those experiences. Keep in mind that if you have a poor image of you, you attract people and experiences who confirm and intensify that: because this life reflects to you your own energy.
So yes, it is possible to have things you want without having self love but self love is the most precious thing you can build. When you love yourself and when you trust yourself everything else is provided to you because those 2 energies are so full of abondance.

I admit, its not easy to go out of the negative loop/cycle but it is very possible. Just don’t expect people and experiences to change so that you love yourself. You are the cause and then everything changes.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 09:15:56 PM by Superman »

Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2019, 09:26:38 PM »

So yes, it is possible to have things you want without having self love but self love is the most precious thing you can build. When you love yourself and when you trust yourself everything else is provided to you because those 2 energies are so full of abondance.

That's rubbish, You can trust yourself all you want. If you don't believe that you are going to get a car for free, just for the believing of it, if you feel this is not possible, you won't be getting that car.

Are you hating yourself or being insecure if you believe that you can't get a car for free ? Of course not. It is a simple statement of conventional facts. No one except your parents will give you a car for free. You need to win the lottery or get extremely luck some other way. Yet with the loa you get the car for free. You build subconscious faith for it and the universe delivers it to you in its own way that you won't expect.

Cochrane, do you want a better car? A better house? More money? To go an on all expenses paid holiday ? A new girlfriend, or a better existing girlfriend ? A more lucrative job with better recognition and work satisfaction? All your aches and pains in your body gone ? You can't remember the last time you had to go to a doctor for a flu or fever ? You can't remember the last time you checked a price tag before buying something at the store or going into a restaurant ?

Can you do all these things now ? I'm going to guess that you have less than half the items on that list.

Now imagine if all that actually happened to you physically. Will you be insecure? Will you be moody and miserable? Will you be crying about the past every day ?

I think you will be full of self love and self confidence, authentically and naturally. No one will need to teach you how to do it. You will be happy because life is working for you, and you will be happy because you got life to work for you.

People have hijacked the loa to sell their self love crap because you can indeed feel good right now just by deciding to do so or listening to someone who says you shouyld. Look at all the motivational talks - people go there and feel pumped up and good it lasts a few days just by hearing someone talk.

And when you feel good and you don't get what you want physically, you are not likely to ask for a refund on the expensive loa course you just bought, or complain on a forum, because, well you feel good and people who feel good rarely complain about anything.

So the fake loa gurus get away with this.


Offline Superman

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2019, 09:41:29 PM »
That's rubbish, You can trust yourself all you want. If you don't believe that you are going to get a car for free, just for the believing of it, if you feel this is not possible, you won't be getting that car.
Are you hating yourself or being insecure if you believe that you can't get a car for free ? Of course not.


The fact is: With self love and self trust you are naturally equiped with high expectations and postifve beliefs. It is part of self love.
You expect great blessings from others because you bless yourself.
With self love you are much better prepared for positive beliefs: because positive beliefs are much in a much better "home" in a positive, self loving mind.
With low self image and lack of self love all positive beliefs feel artificial and it feels like you have to have "mastery" for keep them.
With self love they are effortless and they make perfect sense: you don't have to guard the mind 24h a day.

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Offline Superman

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2019, 09:43:50 PM »
I think I found the reason why I'm having trouble attracting what I want.

I've been through abuse, bullying, and a million other things that have made me develop the inability to love myself fully in life. And I just learned that Loving yourself = attracting more reasons to love life.

So my question is...what are ways to love myself more?  :'(

I'm curious to know what is you definition of self love? What do you mean "loving myself fully"?
And what do you call lack of it?
Thanks.

Offline cochranizer

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2019, 09:49:31 PM »
I think I found the reason why I'm having trouble attracting what I want.

I've been through abuse, bullying, and a million other things that have made me develop the inability to love myself fully in life. And I just learned that Loving yourself = attracting more reasons to love life.

So my question is...what are ways to love myself more?  :'(

I'm curious to know what is you definition of self love? What do you mean "loving myself fully"?
And what do you call lack of it?
Thanks.

Forgiving myself, being nice to myself. Etc.

Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2019, 11:26:29 PM »
When I said the following

Cochrane, do you want a better car? A better house? More money? To go an on all expenses paid holiday ? A new girlfriend, or a better existing girlfriend ? A more lucrative job with better recognition and work satisfaction? All your aches and pains in your body gone ? You can't remember the last time you had to go to a doctor for a flu or fever ? You can't remember the last time you checked a price tag before buying something at the store or going into a restaurant ?



Your response was this :


Forgiving myself, being nice to myself. Etc.



If what I wrote doesn't get your engines going, then really you are clinically depressed. Maybe you should consult a doctor or goto a clinical depression forum. This is an loa forum so you won't find effective advice here (with the exception of this one).

Oh way....I recall now, MC wrote something for depression recently !

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/index.php?topic=26865.msg226178#msg226178

Just scanned it, it only helps normally depressed people, not clinically depressed people who need therapy and medication. But you can try it and see. Good luck.


Best,
Samson
« Last Edit: January 20, 2019, 11:40:22 PM by samson2896 »

Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2019, 07:26:29 AM »
The fact is: With self love and self trust you are naturally equiped with high expectations and postifve beliefs. It is part of self love.
You expect great blessings from others because you bless yourself.


Yes, high self love and self trust does mean high expectations and positive beliefs. But these beliefs are about yourself and life in general maybe, not about other people specifically. And these beliefs do not discharge whatever you have already believed about what is logically conventionally possible for you. You are just optimistic that's all.

I will explain with an example. You can point out where I am wrong if you can.

Lets say you are a farmer in Gaul who shoots boars during the summer for fun,and mines Menhirs as a part time job during the off season, and you were born and you live in a community of farmers who all do this. And you have lived there all your life.

Then you come upon a magazine showing a beautiful girl in a bikini lounging by an infinity pool at a penthouse in Paris that probably costs more than your entire little village put together. You have never seen anything like it. You take a short holiday to the city, you see hot women unlike the farm girls you are used to, and you know they physically exist. You see a penthouse on sale in paris real estate magazine, you put on your best suit and go for a viewing and you see the penthouse in the flesh and you tell the developer that you'll get back to him, and now you know that such penthouses with infinity pools are also real.

So you decide that you very much want that chick and that penthouse with the pool in paris for yourself.

How do you do it ? By feeling good about yourself ?

The penthouse costs more than all the houses in your little farming village put together. You are not a well mannered highly educated parisian you are just a farmer so no hot chick is going to come and until you went to paris on vacation you never saw a model like ordinary chick because you only live with farmers and normal girls.

This is your current belief system, and it is not illogical,or wrong, or some kind of failure requiring you apologising to yourself, or you feeling guilty, or you feeling unworthy. It is just not probable at all. It is not you feeling down or depressed or insecure or whatever.

Will feeling good and confident (and I doubt you can find any boar-hunting gaul who is not confident and happy!) change this limiting belief ?

No. Only specific subconscious reprogramming will do it. You program using the nightly method, that you are already living in that apartment, with a very lovely model like wife by your side. You do this night after night for months. Day after day, your confidence in this grows little by little. There is no reason for you to believe this is possible for you. You are just a farmer living in a cottage.

But somehow, you are gaining confidence. Little by little. Day by day. You don't think about how it is going to happen. Well of course you wonder constantly at first I guess. But as long as you build your subconscious faith, you will stop thinking about how it is going to show up, and start looking forward to it showing up. Because you don't care how it shows up, you just want it.

And then it shows up somehow ! That is how the loa works ! Thoughts become things !

With self love you are much better prepared for positive beliefs: because positive beliefs are much in a much better "home" in a positive, self loving mind.
With low self image and lack of self love all positive beliefs feel artificial and it feels like you have to have "mastery" for keep them.
With self love they are effortless and they make perfect sense: you don't have to guard the mind 24h a day. [/glow]

You don't have to guard the mind 24 hours a day. Of course you don't. You have not been reading MC Brighton's sage words. He explains why this is not necessary and even harmful. Goto my tadpole thread. Read this other posts too.

Yes positive beliefs will feel artificial if you are doing it and maintaining it consciously without a subconscious belief in place supporting it first. And in that situation I can see why you lose your motivation quickly. But that's why it is called Power of the SUBCONSCIOUS mind. I mean this is a guy who has probably sold 30 million books worldwide in 70 years. He should know what he is talking about. That book is full of testimonials of specific situations that were solved with specific subconscious programming.

Yes there is a chapter on a general attitude to life. Of course, i don't deny that helps in general. But there are 19 OTHER chapters (paying attention, Dimitass?) talking about specific solutions to specific problems.

So from that people should understand what really makes the clock tick, as they say.


Best,
Samson

Offline Lolozapata

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2019, 11:02:33 AM »
Why are you so againts self love? Self love brings happines, which is what everyone ultimately wants

More so, self love is a symptom, or rather a consequence, le a healthy and positive subconcious belief system

Self love means you have faith about the main sectores of your life (love, money, healthy, emily, adventure, home, etc.)

You can built self love by either cleansing your subconcious mind me by building incondicional love itself

Either way, self love EQUALS having total faith in the possibility me your desires, while also being happy with whatever we have now.

Its a win/win situation, its nothing to be faked, and i encourage everyone to aim for it in one of the two ways I mentioned.

No one is saying self love suplants visualizations or aún other meditations aimed to manifest. What we are saying is that unconditional love for the self (thus for the everyrhing) is the nicest bonus to have when manifesting. Specially for specific things, because we are not attached

Summary
Self love release resistance and makes manifesting easier.
Also, it just makes you a happy, confident person with an awesome vibe.


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Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2019, 12:06:24 PM »
Why are you so againts self love? Self love brings happines, which is what everyone ultimately wants

I am not against self love. I am never against that. That would be stupid. Self love is obviously a good thing. But so is eating 3 meals a day, taking 2 showers a day, running 2 miles a day, and sleeping 7 hours a day. It is on the same level.

I am against self love as an LOA method or and LOA priority. That is a lie that doesn't work for anyone Yet people who should know better advertise it to people who are sad as some kind of essential thing for the loa. It is not.

Look at my French farmer going to paris example I gave above. My points are SO CRYSTAL CLEAR THERE.  Do you really need me to give you another example ?

I really can't explain it clearer than this don't ask me again if you don't understand.


More so, self love is a symptom, or rather a consequence, le a healthy and positive subconcious belief system


Yes you are absolutely right. Self love is a SYMPTOM of a positive subconscious belief system.

It is not the positive subconscious belief system itself. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE?

That system of positive beliefs has to be implanted there through some actual proven loa technique. Then you will naturally feel happy. That's how it is supposed to work. You are going upside down that is nuts.

That implanting method is called the nightly method, affirmations, self hypnosis, a few other methods people have been using successfully for 80 years.



Offline Lolozapata

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2019, 05:34:09 PM »
you just repeated what i said. You didnt add anything new

It is not the positive subconscious belief system itself.


Yes, thats what i said, also what Superman said.
So?

Offline samson2896

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2019, 07:39:22 PM »
So if it is NOT the subconscious belief, we don't need to bother with it, as an LOA strategy.

Simple.



You said it perfectly. It is a symptom. You did not realise how right you were.



It is the fragrance of the flower, not the flower itself.

The flower comes first, the fragrance comes second. That sequence cannot change.

The subconscious belief comes first, the feelings due to the subconscious belief comes second.

You reprogram the subconscious mind first to create the subconscious beliefs that you want first, then the natural feelings arising from these new beliefs comes second.

The flower comes first  ie you program the required belief into the subconscious mind. Then the fragrance of the flower comes second i.e. your natural happy feelings comes second automatically. Then finally the flower drops and the universe puts a juicy fruit there matching the flower ie the universe produces the physical reality you are going for.

You then pluck and eat the fruit and enjoy it to the full !

Offline Lolozapata

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2019, 08:57:35 PM »
To the original poster

An easy way to regain self love And  self respectl  is exercising., Specially jogging

2) Find an activity were you can be fully and not think of anything else. For Amazon cEo jeff bezos is washing dishes. For me is playing guitar

3) wake up and sleep at regular schedule

4) Find a hobby, new activities and new friends


Okay now that you are working towards your self love vía your body, lets talk about the mind

You said it yourself. You had some trauma as a Child that turned into limiting beliefs holding both your manifestation and your life back.

What you need to do is forgive and let go of this traumas

you can do revision:

Think of a pattern in Your life. Of a story that keeps repeating.
For example, maybe you keep suffering humilliation. Humilliation from your partner, your friends, your boss. Maybe the story you tell yourself is that you are always undeserving.

I dont know. You Find the pattern in your life, Find the stories you keep repeating to yourself, and Find the emotion you attached to it.


Then, focus on one specific pattern and then one specific recent event that symbolices that pattern. Take note of the feeling the event produces on you.

Now, let that feeling take you to the past. It will take you to the core trauma, your anchor.

See it replay as if your present you were There.
Now its time to forgive it.

Go to your past self and say whatever Words you Would need to forgive it. Say you are no longer giving any meaning to this experiences whatsoever.

Repeat this process with as Many Core traumas as you need.

This meditation will also help you forgive those bullying memories

https://youtu.be/5lHiWyWU-Eo

Do it at least once.


3) focus on what you want , but as your question was regarding self love and not LOA i leave my answer here


« Last Edit: January 21, 2019, 09:45:34 PM by Lolozapata »

Offline Tulio

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Re: I'm Having Trouble Loving Myself
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2019, 09:21:27 PM »
Or you could make like Kamal Ravikant and repeat the mantra "I love myself" over and over again, silently and under your breath, even if at first you don't believe it yourself. Just keep at it, and you definitely will before long.

Another helpful variant is Agnes Vivarelli's "I love and approve of myself" (come to think of it, I learned about Kamal's book thanks to her). You've hit rock bottom, so just think of it as digging your way to China.

 

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