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Author Topic: Letting go works  (Read 405 times)

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Offline new_believer

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Letting go works
« on: January 04, 2019, 02:00:41 AM »
Four months after the fateful breakup with my ex, i'm here again. 

This time, my ex girlfriend called me yesterday to apologize. For manipulating me, for being non-committal and for taking advantage of the fact that I was serious with her and she wasn't as much. I appreciated the apology but didn't dwell on it and neither did I tell her that I accepted it. It's up to her to ease her own guilty conscience. She told me that she felt like she had to let it off her chest, that it was eating away at her and wished me a good year.

She said that she wasn't ready for me when I came into her life.

Dear forum members, what should I make of this? FYI she told me she still has feelings for me. All this happened when I decided to let her go and let her be. Letting the universe do it's work is the only way. We really don't have to try too hard for love. We can only deal with things we can control.

I wanted her to contact me for a while now and she has. My mental state is different (more confident, independent). Not so sure I want her back as I am doing fine without her but no doubt, I still have feelings for her.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2019, 02:05:44 AM by new_believer »

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Offline Brighton

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2019, 03:29:27 AM »

All this happened when I decided to let her go and let her be. Letting the universe do it's work is the only way. We really don't have to try too hard for love. We can only deal with things we can control.



You let go and your girlfriend came back to you? That's so hard to do. Congratulations !


Tell us what did you do to let go? Exactly ? What were your intentions there and the specific actions/thoughts that you took or refrained from taking? Did you do anything before that which did not work ? Tell us THAT story.



Four months after the fateful breakup with my ex, i'm here again. 

This time, my ex girlfriend called me yesterday to apologize. For manipulating me, for being non-committal and for taking advantage of the fact that I was serious with her and she wasn't as much. I appreciated the apology but didn't dwell on it and neither did I tell her that I accepted it. It's up to her to ease her own guilty conscience. She told me that she felt like she had to let it off her chest, that it was eating away at her and wished me a good year.

She said that she wasn't ready for me when I came into her life.


Dear forum members, what should I make of this? FYI she told me she still has feelings for me.

As to your question, please don't ask personal issues like this on a blind forum. That is dangerous, and we can't give you proper advice either - we know nothing about you or her.
The best advice is this : you don't have to decide right now. You can take a few days. A week, even 2 weeks. If she calls back and wants to meet up, just say some bull like you have this huge assignment you need to turn in and will be done in two weeks. Or some other good excuse she would not question and would not feel rejected by. Take this time to settle your mind and heart and think and feel carefully about what you wish to do in your personal life re her.

Offline new_believer

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2019, 02:00:09 PM »
Tell us what did you do to let go? Exactly ? What were your intentions there and the specific actions/thoughts that you took or refrained from taking? Did you do anything before that which did not work ? Tell us THAT story.

I focused on me. Living healthy, meeting new people, focusing on work and general self improvement. It's all about you, that's what you have control over. All the while, you have to stop your mind from longing, pining or any other desperate feelings by widening your social circle. Meeting and interacting with new, attractive and amazing women helped me cultivate an abundance mindset when it comes to love. Don't shortchange yourself, keep improving yourself and eventually, when you're not expecting it, your ex will reach out. It's an energy thing. Your energy has to be right.

Quote
As to your question, please don't ask personal issues like this on a blind forum. That is dangerous, and we can't give you proper advice either - we know nothing about you or her.
The best advice is this : you don't have to decide right now. You can take a few days. A week, even 2 weeks. If she calls back and wants to meet up, just say some bull like you have this huge assignment you need to turn in and will be done in two weeks. Or some other good excuse she would not question and would not feel rejected by. Take this time to settle your mind and heart and think and feel carefully about what you wish to do in your personal life re her.

I have posted my story a few times before on this forum. Some members have been following it with me so they could provide some insight. Either way, thanks for the heads up. It doesn't hurt to listen to varied opinions from random strangers. Ultimately, I have all the information I need to make an informed decision.

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Offline Brighton

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2019, 11:51:40 PM »
Hi, and thank you for taking the time to respond in detail. I have a few more questions.


I focused on me. Living healthy, meeting new people, focusing on work and general self improvement. It's all about you, that's what you have control over. All the while, you have to stop your mind from longing, pining or any other desperate feelings by widening your social circle.

In your opinion would she have showed up :

a. if widening your social circle etc etc did not stop your mind from longing, pining, and desperate feelings ?

b. if you did not do anything deliberate to stop your mind from longing, pining and desperate feelings, but managed to control your mind anyway ?

Try to cast your mind back then and artificially layer these scenarios onto it and tell us what you feel.


Meeting and interacting with new, attractive and amazing women helped me cultivate an abundance mindset when it comes to love. Don't shortchange yourself, keep improving yourself and eventually, when you're not expecting it, your ex will reach out. It's an energy thing. Your energy has to be right.

What do you mean by an abundance mindset? Are you talking about self confidence ?

And what do you mean by improving yourself ? What if you did nothing to improve yourself, because you feel you're just fine as you are and you don't look at being dumped as a personal judgment against yourself that demands a fix/self improvement ?



Ultimately, I have all the information I need to make an informed decision.

Great. What have you decided ? What were the key pivots in your decision ? I mean you met several other amazing chicks - obviously hot and cool - so if you chose your ex, what made you decide that.

Thanks.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2019, 06:00:46 AM by Brighton »

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Online siamesegirl

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2019, 04:14:31 AM »
Quote
And what do you mean by improving yourself ? What if you did nothing to improve yourself, because you feel you're just fine as you are and you don't look at being dumped as a personal judgment against yourself that demands a fix/self improvement ?

I find this aspect very interesting. When people get chucked, they come on here and are told that they lack self-love, self-respect, need to improve themselves, but sometimes that is not always relevant. If I had been chucked (I haven't for many years, by the way) I may not take it personally and think I wasn't good enough for the other person. I would have done when I was much younger, but not now. There are many reasons for one person finishing with another.

I find it complex, and the answer is not always because the dumpee lacks self love.

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Online LAW1974

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2019, 02:54:08 AM »
@new believer -- LOVE your story and thx for sharing!  I a close to the 4 month mark myself and I believe I am close to letting go if Im not already there yet!  Question -- Do you ever do any Remote Seduction or any other techniques or anything similar or simply let go and focus on moving on?

Offline DianneM

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Re: Letting go works
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2019, 03:35:12 PM »
i agree! it has to be the right energy, that's why self love/self care is essential, and eventually they will come back when the time is right. :)

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