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Author Topic: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS  (Read 2287 times)

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Offline MrMaverick

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2018, 07:36:52 PM »
Well that's a big problem 
When I say LOA I'm talking about the nature of reality, the power of beliefs, and everything that makes your life.

So YOUR beliefs and definitions about love have EVERYTHING to do with "loa" and your experiences. Because those are the cause of how you experience love in your life. You have specific thoughts about what love is, what relationships are... and how you think about those and what you believe in those areas is the cause of how you experience love and relationships.

When you say "I never understood what the term “love” has anything to do with LoA." Its like saying "I never understood what the term “money” has anything to do with LoA. Terms like money, love, health, success, power, good, bad, etc etc are all personal/subjective for all of us. Some people associate money with evil, others assiociate love with weakness. And all those beliefs or associations impact their life and what appears "desirable" to them. I'm sorry that you don't understand such an important and crucial thing. Everythinh in this life has to do with LOA, and especially love because "LOVE" has so much implications, associations, and influence in your life.


I understand what you are saying. I agree my beliefs and definitions about love have everything to do with my life and my LoA experience.
What I don't understand is, if that is the case - it should be the case with hatred as well. I MAY believe hatred makes me happy and so will my life and experience be.
That goes on for EVERYTHING.
So why only single out something as abstract and esoteric as love. Why ONLY love? That is my question.

And if everything depends on my subjective beliefs about something then my subjective beliefs about "vegans suck" are equally impactful on my life as love.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to trash talk you on this subject - In the past, I have engaged myself into thinking and believing this is true.
In last couple of years the more large scale successes I have had, the more I realized that this, however morally comforting it sounds, has no impact on your ability to manifest. I arrived at this conclusion by going the extreme opposite - going in with all round hatred and there was no impact on my ability to manifest whatsoever.

Offline MrMaverick

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2018, 07:41:21 PM »
Brighton, I have a question.  How can you know that I haven't had romantic experiences in the flesh and learn from romantic movies?   Actually I have had my share of relationships and failures too, and as anyone when those failures happened, I was devastated, but looking back I can see that what seemed to be failures were for my own good.   And that is not to come up with a rational explanation for Things and be ok with Things when Things turned out for the worst.   I actually feel that when Things turned out for the worst when it comes to a very important relationship in my life, it was a Blessing in disguise.   Of course I couldn't see it at the time and assumed it to be a mistake, was in denial and wouldn't accept it, because I was as Prototype says in love with the person and send him letters and so on and it was not for him, but for me to get something in return. I was very selfish.  And you would perhaps say that that person was a crush or someone I was in love with from a distance, if I understand you correctly, but we had been together physically and in the flesh, so it was not just a romantic dream.   

But I agree with you that romantic movies are in fact dangerous if that is what you say.  I am not quite certain if that is what you mean, because not being native English speaking, I have a hard time understanding what you mean and say.

Just one question. WHY?
Why do you choose to respond to his subjective and nit-picky criticisms.
Brighton, although poses good questions and intellectually provocative discussions, most of his posts center around offering subjective criticisms. He has talked a lot without actually saying anything. The same behavior he criticizes others for.
Simply do not respond unless there is an objective question from him.

The more you folks choose to respond, the more you contribute to it getting worse.

Offline Superman

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2018, 08:28:20 PM »
Well that's a big problem 
When I say LOA I'm talking about the nature of reality, the power of beliefs, and everything that makes your life.

So YOUR beliefs and definitions about love have EVERYTHING to do with "loa" and your experiences. Because those are the cause of how you experience love in your life. You have specific thoughts about what love is, what relationships are... and how you think about those and what you believe in those areas is the cause of how you experience love and relationships.

When you say "I never understood what the term “love” has anything to do with LoA." Its like saying "I never understood what the term “money” has anything to do with LoA. Terms like money, love, health, success, power, good, bad, etc etc are all personal/subjective for all of us. Some people associate money with evil, others assiociate love with weakness. And all those beliefs or associations impact their life and what appears "desirable" to them. I'm sorry that you don't understand such an important and crucial thing. Everythinh in this life has to do with LOA, and especially love because "LOVE" has so much implications, associations, and influence in your life.


I understand what you are saying. I agree my beliefs and definitions about love have everything to do with my life and my LoA experience.
What I don't understand is, if that is the case - it should be the case with hatred as well. I MAY believe hatred makes me happy and so will my life and experience be.
That goes on for EVERYTHING.
So why only single out something as abstract and esoteric as love. Why ONLY love? That is my question.

And if everything depends on my subjective beliefs about something then my subjective beliefs about "vegans suck" are equally impactful on my life as love.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to trash talk you on this subject - In the past, I have engaged myself into thinking and believing this is true.
In last couple of years the more large scale successes I have had, the more I realized that this, however morally comforting it sounds, has no impact on your ability to manifest. I arrived at this conclusion by going the extreme opposite - going in with all round hatred and there was no impact on my ability to manifest whatsoever.


Hatered is not something separate from love. It is the other side of the same coin. Its a little bit long to explain for this topic and not really useful here.

But why LOVE? Because many people here have a big issue with their love definitions, that is what causes all those posts of "how to get ex back" and all the "rs" things. You maybe already know I was the one who wanted exes back too and I created all kind of posts. But back then (4 years ago) I had a definition of love that was very fearful and degrading to me and so I dealt with all sorts of love pain. It created in me a "logic" that I have to "control" every thought of the other person. This desire cannot come from true love, but from fear. So I make this post to make people question what they think of love and how it affects their relationships and their desires and logic.

Again why love? Because on this forum most of the people don't even read anything that goes beyond relationships and ex back techniques.

Keep in mind that a person who has a complete "sane" definition of LOVE cannot suffer because of love, cannot chase someone, cannot want to influence or "rs" someone, and definitely whould have better things to do than trying to attract someone who doesnt want him/her. All of this because when you have a healthy definition of love you dont even have to deal with all those problems. Those problems become unknown to you. You just never create them anyway. In the same way that if you have a helthy beliefs about money you don't deal with poverty. What makes you want someone who doesnt want you has everything to do with your beliefs about love and it all has to do with you, the person you think you want is just a shadow of that. And again I repeat it: I was in those "bad" positions too.

Lets imagine you believe that you are BLESSED in love. And with all that it implies! Lets say it is your core belief. Where is the need to want someone back? Where is the lack of anything? Where is the suffering? Chassing, rs, ex back techniques, trying to influence someone by focusing on them and believing that you have to change them or control-influence them is far from believeing that you are blessed, it is far from a sane definition of love. So instead of just blindly obey to your desires ask yourself what belief or fear creates them. Because if you look back into your past you will see that not all of your wants or desires were positive for you, in fact often they can lead you to all sorts of hells :D So yeah, its very important to check your definitions and beliefs about love because they control your actual logic, emotions and attitude when it comes to relationships.

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #18 on: December 28, 2018, 08:35:33 PM »
The opposite of love is not hatred, it's indifference. Not giving a fig.

Offline Superman

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #19 on: December 28, 2018, 08:41:10 PM »
This is the intro from the "A course in Miracles" book, I love it very much :



"This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what you want to take at a given time. The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.

This course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way:

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the peace of God."

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Offline Ema

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #20 on: December 29, 2018, 12:22:19 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D

Offline MissUniverse

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #21 on: December 29, 2018, 02:56:00 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D


i get what you are saying. quite irritating this happens but ah well... ::)

Offline Superman

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #22 on: December 29, 2018, 03:11:45 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D

well leaving your friends is not losing yourself...

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Offline MissUniverse

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2018, 03:32:21 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D

well leaving your friends is not losing yourself...

then they break up and remember they once had friends... ::) :P

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Offline PrototypeOA

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #24 on: December 29, 2018, 03:54:26 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D

well leaving your friends is not losing yourself...

No, but it is a first stepping stone to it. :D
It starts with friends, then with your regular activities, and in the matter of months you are completely gone. Nothing that makes you you is there. :D

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Offline Ema

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2018, 04:20:00 AM »
I was think this too..but why all my friends, when they have a boyfriends,, so all world for them stop exist ,they stopped go out with me, they are still just with their boyfriend and they never break up ,but opppsite they are a maried?? It happening so much times not just me but other peolle too....people find a girlfriend/boyfriend, they forget about their friends, other things and they nevertheless have a  great relationship and their partners dont leave them...I hope my english give a sense:D

well leaving your friends is not losing yourself...

No, but it is a first stepping stone to it. :D
It starts with friends, then with your regular activities, and in the matter of months you are completely gone. Nothing that makes you you is there. :D

Exactly
And I had a friend, who when was a  single, so she wanted went on every parties, she wanted be always in the bar. Later she found a boyfriend. And she stopped go out, she was every weekend with him and during a week at work. Nothing else and when she went on some party, so just only if he went with her too....and last year they had a wedding and now they have a baby. Since she started date with him, we stopped be in contact, even thought I was need somtimes go hang out.She doenst found  a few minutes for me....And my mother  told me too, that when she already was with my father, so she stop went out with friends ,and her friends stopped go out too..so this is why I dont understand ,why a lot of article about relationship is about "dont lose independent, dont forget about friends, hobbies, because youlost your partner," when I have experiences that people lost this all and their partners dont break up with them

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Offline ChaliceSnowFlower

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #26 on: December 29, 2018, 05:49:58 AM »
Exactly
And I had a friend, who when was a  single, so she wanted went on every parties, she wanted be always in the bar. Later she found a boyfriend. And she stopped go out, she was every weekend with him and during a week at work. Nothing else and when she went on some party, so just only if he went with her too....and last year they had a wedding and now they have a baby. Since she started date with him, we stopped be in contact, even thought I was need somtimes go hang out.She doenst found  a few minutes for me....And my mother  told me too, that when she already was with my father, so she stop went out with friends ,and her friends stopped go out too..so this is why I dont understand ,why a lot of article about relationship is about "dont lose independent, dont forget about friends, hobbies, because youlost your partner," when I have experiences that people lost this all and their partners dont break up with them

Just because they stay together doesn't mean that they are happy together. Misery loves company.  ::)

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Offline siamesegirl

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2018, 11:23:16 AM »
When I was in a long term relationship the guy would start a campaign of intimidation on the Thursday by not speaking alternated with snapping at me and back off by Sunday. This was when I went out with my friends one Friday a month or every three weeks. When I was at my running club or evening class I was accused of neglecting him. But we never did anything interesting together.

Offline Ema

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #28 on: December 29, 2018, 03:36:54 PM »
Exactly
And I had a friend, who when was a  single, so she wanted went on every parties, she wanted be always in the bar. Later she found a boyfriend. And she stopped go out, she was every weekend with him and during a week at work. Nothing else and when she went on some party, so just only if he went with her too....and last year they had a wedding and now they have a baby. Since she started date with him, we stopped be in contact, even thought I was need somtimes go hang out.She doenst found  a few minutes for me....And my mother  told me too, that when she already was with my father, so she stop went out with friends ,and her friends stopped go out too..so this is why I dont understand ,why a lot of article about relationship is about "dont lose independent, dont forget about friends, hobbies, because youlost your partner," when I have experiences that people lost this all and their partners dont break up with them

Just because they stay together doesn't mean that they are happy together. Misery loves company.  ::)

Maybe some couples arent haopy together even thought they are together, but a lot couples are happy..my parents working in one company and when they go home from work, so they  are together again, maybe in different rooms, but later they are watch tv together, , taling , laughhing and they are happy..my uncle with her husband too..so this thema is very debatable. when I will have a boyfriend , so I will want be with friends and do my hobbies.But  I dont think that all couples arent haopy and they will break uo when they  lost their hobbies, friends..
Superman told that leave friends doesnt mean lost yourself..really?? When they was single so friends was so important and they were every free day with them and when they have a rrelationship, so they leave  them and they dont need them so I think that is a large indicator, that they lost yoiurself and they are depend on their boy/girlfriend and they are only one source happines for them and they dont need nothing else..
« Last Edit: December 30, 2018, 04:19:01 AM by Ema »

Offline DianneM

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Re: RETHINKING WHAT "LOVE" MEANS
« Reply #29 on: January 08, 2019, 07:30:47 PM »
good read! i like how u used ur examples

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