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Author Topic: My complicated story.  (Read 853 times)

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Offline fluffyllama

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My complicated story.
« on: November 06, 2018, 09:41:20 AM »
-deleted-

I'm much happier without him! Thank you for your kind words, they were very helpful. It's been 7 weeks and i've never been happier.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 03:44:40 PM by fluffyllama »

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2018, 05:22:23 PM »
No, he isn't the sweetest guy ever. He is a control freak. Two words of advice: BIN HIM.

Stop calling him "your love" and start calling him what he is - a controller with a multitude of issues.

He is right when he says he doesn't deserve you. You deserve far better. You are 21 for goodness sake with the rest of your life before you to make good choices. Make the first good decision and bin him. Don't waste a minute on him.

I wait for people to disagree with me.

Offline Alexbally

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2018, 06:17:23 PM »
No, he isn't the sweetest guy ever. He is a control freak. Two words of advice: BIN HIM.

Stop calling him "your love" and start calling him what he is - a controller with a multitude of issues.

He was the one who eventually broke it off.....she is the one (potentially) trying to use LOA to bring him back....and you call HIM the control freak. How very short sighted of you SG. The yearning for control takes many different guises.
I would say he was more insecure about a few things.

This is not a place for man-hating SG. If you wish to bad mouth men that you know next to nothing about, may I suggest that you join the other gay women on Loose Women every week day morning.
Do not make the mistake of judging people based upon your own moral objectives. Everybody is unique and none of us would ever like everybody so it's better to understand this rather than be judge and jury in one swipe.

Only flufflyllama has any idea if she feels that they are compatible together or not. She will be able to determine this once she addresses the facts and not the emotions.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2018, 06:41:06 PM by Alexbally »

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Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2018, 06:18:48 PM »
This whole post is full of WTF and disbelief.

For starters, he's very controlling and he asked for my passwords and social media accounts, and for me to cut off all my friends. I did.

photos of me (10K++)

Who has 10K photos of someone? Thatís so beyond obsessive...

I saw the bookings for accommodation.
He is the sweetest guy ever, and I love him.   

...you need help...this ďrelationshipĒ is so clearly abusive, obsessive and unhealthy...
« Last Edit: November 06, 2018, 06:20:21 PM by TheLittleBat »

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2018, 08:56:19 PM »
No, he isn't the sweetest guy ever. He is a control freak. Two words of advice: BIN HIM.

Stop calling him "your love" and start calling him what he is - a controller with a multitude of issues.

He was the one who eventually broke it off.....she is the one (potentially) trying to use LOA to bring him back....and you call HIM the control freak. How very short sighted of you SG. The yearning for control takes many different guises.
I would say he was more insecure about a few things.

This is not a place for man-hating SG. If you wish to bad mouth men that you know next to nothing about, may I suggest that you join the other gay women on Loose Women every week day morning.
Do not make the mistake of judging people based upon your own moral objectives. Everybody is unique and none of us would ever like everybody so it's better to understand this rather than be judge and jury in one swipe.

Only flufflyllama has any idea if she feels that they are compatible together or not. She will be able to determine this once she addresses the facts and not the emotions.

Man hating is not on my agenda, never has been. Hating anyone is not on my agenda either. It doesn't occur to me and didn't when I replied to this. I was horrified to think this guy would ask her to stop seeing her friends and demand passwords for her accounts. That is controlling and not normal whatever your gender. Neither am I gay, Alex, and your comment is uncalled for.

It is also "long distance" as many of these problematic relationships seem to be.

I'm really sorry you see it that way.



Of course he is controlling. Stopping someone seeing their friends is not OK.

No, he isn't the sweetest guy ever. He is a control freak. Two words of advice: BIN HIM.

Stop calling him "your love" and start calling him what he is - a controller with a multitude of issues.

He was the one who eventually broke it off.....she is the one (potentially) trying to use LOA to bring him back....and you call HIM the control freak. How very short sighted of you SG. The yearning for control takes many different guises.
I would say he was more insecure about a few things.

This is not a place for man-hating SG. If you wish to bad mouth men that you know next to nothing about, may I suggest that you join the other gay women on Loose Women every week day morning.
Do not make the mistake of judging people based upon your own moral objectives. Everybody is unique and none of us would ever like everybody so it's better to understand this rather than be judge and jury in one swipe.

Only flufflyllama has any idea if she feels that they are compatible together or not. She will be able to determine this once she addresses the facts and not the emotions.

Well, Alex, first off, I am not gay. Where on earth do you get that idea from? Neither am I a hater - of anyone, actually, of any gender. Hate is pointless. The word hate was never mentioned, nor implied. The facts, as you put it are this - Fluffy Llama had a boyfriend who demanded her passwords and wanted her to cut herself off from her friends. Not a cause for hate, of course, but a cause to run the other way, and fast. He blew hot and cold - being pleased she booked tickets to go and visit him, now saying he doesn't want her to.

I am really sorry that you think this man's behaviour is OK.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2018, 10:26:44 PM by siamesegirl »

Offline fluffyllama

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2018, 10:41:50 PM »
No, he isn't the sweetest guy ever. He is a control freak. Two words of advice: BIN HIM.

He is right when he says he doesn't deserve you. You deserve far better. You are 21 for goodness sake with the rest of your life before you to make good choices. Make the first good decision and bin him. Don't waste a minute on him.

I wait for people to disagree with me.

Thank you.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 03:50:06 PM by fluffyllama »

Offline fluffyllama

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2018, 10:47:15 PM »

He was the one who eventually broke it off.....she is the one (potentially) trying to use LOA to bring him back....

Only flufflyllama has any idea if she feels that they are compatible together or not. She will be able to determine this once she addresses the facts and not the emotions.

Thank you!
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 03:50:24 PM by fluffyllama »

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2018, 10:59:10 PM »
He grew up in a controlling family, h

That's not an excuse. A lot of people grow up in controlling/abusive homes and end up being great people. This guy is abusive. You're also obsessive. Stop confusing infatuation with love.

Offline fluffyllama

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2018, 11:09:34 PM »
He grew up in a controlling family, h

That's not an excuse. A lot of people grow up in controlling/abusive homes and end up being great people. This guy is abusive. You're also obsessive. Stop confusing infatuation with love.

Tough love, huh. Thank you, though, I needed to hear that. Also, I know that Iíve become a little obsessive about this relationship but itís just been two weeks.... Iím doing my best to try to figure out some way to cope!! Iíve also been going to counselling but yeah posting on this forum was sort of a last resort.

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2018, 11:14:21 PM »
I don't know how long distance this is but praise the Lord this family isn't on the same street as you. Really, is it worth the hassle? Surely you are worth more than this nightmare?

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Offline Alexbally

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2018, 12:06:06 AM »
Hi SG

You seem to be mistaken....I also never said that I find his behaviour acceptable, nor unacceptable, that is the OP's place to decide on that front. You seem to be forgetting that it does take 2 to tango and there's always more information than what the OP is openly willing to tell us.
My point to this is that who gave you the wig and gavel to be the judge of him or anybody for that matter?

You so do hate men SG lol! Over the course of over a year that I have been on here, 50% of your posts are basically stating your opinion of what you think about a guy that any OP posts about.
Are you so close-minded that you refuse to see anything from a 2nd or even 3rd perspective?

The only fact here is that YOU do not know the facts just as much as I don't. Regardless of that fact, who cares? Circumstances do not matter!
What really grinds your gears might be the same things that really gets Fluffy's juices flowing, capichť?

Hi Fluffy

This is a major problem with new age bullshit in that it makes you blame yourself for all the shit stuff in your life for all the wrong reasons.
Yes, you are involved but not directly responsible. He is too just as much as you. He is his own person with his own mind, just like you and with this in mind, all you can concentrate on doing is being the best that you can be. You will then find whether you 2 are truly compatible or not.
On first glance I can see why people here are saying the things that they are saying but there's always more to the story that only you and him are aware of, so I personally won't pass any form of judgement.

My advice to you is when you are ready to take off those rose tinted glasses and suspend your belief, take a look at the cold, hard facts and see what they are trying to show to you. This is when you'll see what it is that you want to do.

It does no harm at all to be more understanding and tolerant of others for everybody is conditioned by their own experiences. This conditioning is open to change and we all are forever changing ourselves all the way up until we stare at the grim reaper.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2018, 12:18:13 AM by Alexbally »

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2018, 01:56:02 AM »
I don't hate anyone. What I do hate however is disrespectful behaviour and I will not tolerate or accept it. I'll also advise anyone else to do the same, but it's their choice ultimately. I do not hate men for Christ's sake. And for the record, I'm not gay. Nor do I watch, or ever intend to watch, Loose Women.

Offline Alexbally

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Re: My complicated story.
« Reply #12 on: November 07, 2018, 02:57:22 AM »
And for the record, I'm not gay. Nor do I watch, or ever intend to watch, Loose Women.

Lololol ok ok, when you put it like that I believe you haha. Quality British daytime tv that is...what the hell are we doing to this country?

Apologies Fluffy, back to your thread again. I hope you find your answers.

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