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Author Topic: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on  (Read 4119 times)

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Offline siamesegirl

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All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« on: October 19, 2018, 02:58:43 PM »
A lot is said about this, and I agree with it. A healthy self image (as opposed to self-aggrandizement) is only a good thing. However ............... there are people who don't have the relationship of their dreams, but who also have a good view of themselves - I consider myself one of these. Nobody has a 100%+ positive view of themselves the whole time. We all have doubts, however fleeting, about our ability to do X, if Y will work out. It's human nature. I am sure even Superman would have to think twice about his ability to fly a Cessna. (Or he may surprise me!)

I had a very poor upbringing and it took me many years to realise that I was actually a worthwhile person. Of course this affected me when I was in my teens and early 20s. I no longer believe I am rubbish, worthless, not deserving and not good enough (though I do sometimes regret the past, and feel it was a waste).

We can all improve, develop and grow, but not having the right partner doesn't always go hand in hand with a lousy self-view, bad behaviour and having to "work on yourself" to see results.

What do you think about this paradox?

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Offline anteres

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2018, 03:55:35 PM »
It actually does.
SELF LOVE
Is taking care of yourself ~ body kind and spirit in an unconditional way, irrespective of any situation. It means being centered.  It means being with yourself. It means feeling comfortable with yourself when you're alone. It means respect yourself.

It does not mean selfishness. Rather people who are in self love see the other person as an extension of themselves.
 
Having a right partner starts with having a right relationship with your self ~ subconscious. Once you have that connection whatever comes would be right timed and right for you.

But the first relationship is with relationship with yourself.

There's no paradox here.

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Offline siamesegirl

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2018, 05:17:31 PM »

There's no paradox here.


I have a very good relationship with "me" and a good self-image. Not perfect, nobody's is, but it is very good. But I have NEVER had a lasting or successful relationship. That is my paradox.

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Offline anteres

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2018, 05:57:16 PM »
Well,

When you are in a deep connection with yourself you won't need to look for any one else. Because you are content.

And from your post I could sense a lack. You need to work on that. This lack is nothing but a disconnection of you from yourself. Work on that and you will be amazed. Let me know if I can help you anyway.
Love.

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Offline anteres

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2018, 05:59:36 PM »
Well,

When you are in a deep connection with yourself you won't need to look for any one else. What I mean is you will have desires but you will have so much conviction or faith that you will know whatever you want is there and you will be given those in the right time. You will not crave or put lots of effort to "manifest". It is because you are content.

And from your post I could sense a lack. You need to work on that. This lack is nothing but a disconnection of you from yourself. Work on that and you will be amazed. Let me know if I can help you anyway.
Love.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2018, 06:01:16 PM by anteres »

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Offline siamesegirl

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2018, 08:58:11 PM »
Well,

you won't need to look for any one else.

I'm not looking for anyone! It was merely a comment used as illustration.

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Offline siamesegirl

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2018, 08:10:10 PM »
I think too that people may think they have to "work on themselves" in order to be good enough or deserving of a particular individual. In a good few instances the problem is that they don't feel good enough for themselves, not someone else.

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Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2018, 08:32:35 PM »

.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2018, 10:09:32 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2018, 09:41:11 PM »
.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2018, 10:09:52 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

Offline BlackCat

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2018, 08:24:50 AM »

There's no paradox here.


I have a very good relationship with "me" and a good self-image. Not perfect, nobody's is, but it is very good. But I have NEVER had a lasting or successful relationship. That is my paradox.
This is me as well!!I'm doing all my best to create my first successful relationship with LOA and RS and needing so bad to detach from it. I have good self image even if not perfect because i don't like some of my features or other stuff i'm trying to improve. I'm also a person that is used to be independent from finding desperately a relationship just because i don't like to be alone. I prefer to be with myself rather in a relationship that i don't like and both or one of us doesn't feel anything.

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2018, 01:55:16 PM »
.

I wish I knew what you had written and then deleted!

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Offline DianneM

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2019, 02:00:36 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2019, 08:47:34 AM by DianneM »

Offline Lolozapata

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2019, 10:32:58 PM »
Diane.

Please stop with the spam.

If you wish to promote a certain site, please add it into your firm and instead post relevant content on the forum.

It's not the firts time the Spark Joy web site is promoted here.

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2019, 10:45:24 PM »
Diane.

Please stop with the spam.

If you wish to promote a certain site, please add it into your firm and instead post relevant content on the forum.

It's not the firts time the Spark Joy web site is promoted here.
It's the zillionth. I've reported it but nothing has happened. Must Spark Joy is advertised by a variety of individuals on here. Maybe the same one under different names.

Offline Desideratum

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Re: All this talk about "self love" "working on yourself" and so on
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2019, 03:58:58 AM »
There's no moderation going on at the moment.

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