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Online siamesegirl

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Re: My progress
« Reply #30 on: November 02, 2018, 12:19:52 PM »
This should be a blog.

Offline Kosmic

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Re: My progress
« Reply #31 on: November 05, 2018, 01:42:36 AM »
This should be a blog.

Is that a compliment, a critique on my approach to this haha, or just an observation?

Anyway, small update.

This friday:

Where my main poi texted hahaha, at almost everything i wrote to her, and seemed engaged in the conversation, with her texting me funny memes and screensshots out of nowhere, from monday to wednesday, she has been kind of cold to me on messenger from thursday and till now. I donīt know if she just donīt want to communicate interest, she is playing hard to get or she just isnīt interested anymore.

However when i saw her this friday, she seemed kind of still interested. When our lecture was over, she was walking in front of me and looked back and stopped to wait for me, so we could walk to the group meeting together, something she never really does. She sat across the table from me, when we arrived at our group meeting, however at one point when i was talking (and she couldnīt see my screen) she came over and sat next to me for about a minute, then she moved closer to me and her legs began to act really restless, and then she got up and went back to her chair. At one point she said my name, when she asked me something and it seemed like she was nervous saying it and like she almost got a joy out of saying it (It could be me just seeing things though) I also tried to keep long eye contact, but she would move her gaze pretty quickly between the group members when she was talking. Then when i was talking, she suddenly held her gaze at my eyes for quite a long time and i donīt know why, but i forgot what i was going to say, so i had to look away quickly and then look back.

Then one of her friends joined our group meeting, and when i talked to my main poiīs friend, it was like her friend froze and didnīt know what to say. Her friend seemed very shy to be honest. When i said i had to catch a specific bus, my main poi said she had to catch that bus as well. When I got up to leave, my main poi and her friend got up to leave as well. Then I talked to the rest of the group quickly, and she waited for me with her friend, something she normally donīt do, as we normally leave a group meeting seperately. When we got outside, her friend kept asking me questions about what i thought about the college so far and agreeing with me, where my main poi almost ignored what i said. When we got to bus they were suppose to take, i said i had to take a different bus at a different location, then my main poi said that they could take that bus as well, and might as well follow me there.

I dunno, iīm confused at the moment. Should i just tell her how i feel? I really want to, but that desire comes from a needy/desperate kind of state i think, or maybe it doesnīt. I donīt really knowīat the moment haha. Is she playing hard to get, is she just confused about her feelings for me, is she interested at all, or is she just unsure about me and frustrated that i havenīt said anything myself? I am at a place where i need guidance. It donīt actually feel like itīs resistance...iīm confused whether she is just tired of playing games, like she said with the other dude and she thinks im playing a game or something, if itīs resistance, if she is just confused herself or if she just isnīt interested at the moment because i have send her some "bad/needy" kind of energy.

If anybody have read my overlong posts...first of all thank you haha, but second, do you care to take a guess and maybe give me an advice what to do?


Offline Alexbally

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Re: My progress
« Reply #32 on: November 05, 2018, 01:50:18 AM »
donīt know if she just donīt want to communicate interest, she is playing hard to get or she just isnīt interested anymore.

You've seen first hand right here how pointless it is to twist yourself up in wild assumptions. Become aware when doing this again next time and stop it earlier. Believe only that what you see for yourself....as you did when you eventually caught up with her.

The rest does not matter too much. You just need to worry about being the best and most natural Kosmic you can be, don't fake anything. She'll like you most when you're being your best. If she don't, who cares? Plenty more where she came from.

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Online siamesegirl

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Re: My progress
« Reply #33 on: November 05, 2018, 03:28:16 PM »
This should be a blog.

Is that a compliment, a critique on my approach to this haha, or just an observation?

Anyway, small update.

This friday:

Where my main poi texted hahaha, at almost everything i wrote to her, and seemed engaged in the conversation, with her texting me funny memes and screensshots out of nowhere, from monday to wednesday, she has been kind of cold to me on messenger from thursday and till now. I donīt know if she just donīt want to communicate interest, she is playing hard to get or she just isnīt interested anymore.

However when i saw her this friday, she seemed kind of still interested. When our lecture was over, she was walking in front of me and looked back and stopped to wait for me, so we could walk to the group meeting together, something she never really does. She sat across the table from me, when we arrived at our group meeting, however at one point when i was talking (and she couldnīt see my screen) she came over and sat next to me for about a minute, then she moved closer to me and her legs began to act really restless, and then she got up and went back to her chair. At one point she said my name, when she asked me something and it seemed like she was nervous saying it and like she almost got a joy out of saying it (It could be me just seeing things though) I also tried to keep long eye contact, but she would move her gaze pretty quickly between the group members when she was talking. Then when i was talking, she suddenly held her gaze at my eyes for quite a long time and i donīt know why, but i forgot what i was going to say, so i had to look away quickly and then look back.

Then one of her friends joined our group meeting, and when i talked to my main poiīs friend, it was like her friend froze and didnīt know what to say. Her friend seemed very shy to be honest. When i said i had to catch a specific bus, my main poi said she had to catch that bus as well. When I got up to leave, my main poi and her friend got up to leave as well. Then I talked to the rest of the group quickly, and she waited for me with her friend, something she normally donīt do, as we normally leave a group meeting seperately. When we got outside, her friend kept asking me questions about what i thought about the college so far and agreeing with me, where my main poi almost ignored what i said. When we got to bus they were suppose to take, i said i had to take a different bus at a different location, then my main poi said that they could take that bus as well, and might as well follow me there.

I dunno, iīm confused at the moment. Should i just tell her how i feel? I really want to, but that desire comes from a needy/desperate kind of state i think, or maybe it doesnīt. I donīt really knowīat the moment haha. Is she playing hard to get, is she just confused about her feelings for me, is she interested at all, or is she just unsure about me and frustrated that i havenīt said anything myself? I am at a place where i need guidance. It donīt actually feel like itīs resistance...iīm confused whether she is just tired of playing games, like she said with the other dude and she thinks im playing a game or something, if itīs resistance, if she is just confused herself or if she just isnīt interested at the moment because i have send her some "bad/needy" kind of energy.

If anybody have read my overlong posts...first of all thank you haha, but second, do you care to take a guess and maybe give me an advice what to do?



An observation, because it is interesting and would probably be interesting to people outside this forum.

Offline Kosmic

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Re: My progress
« Reply #34 on: November 09, 2018, 02:53:24 AM »
Update time

During the weekend, i asked if we should do an assignment togehter on Tuesday, and she said sure.

Monday

Saw my main poi briefly monday. I noticed she was all shined up, where she hasnīt been that shined up for weeks. She looked at me and said "good morning Kosmic" while her friend beside her was wearing a big smile. . We had agreed to do an assignment together Tuesday, but it looked i would have some spare time, so i wrote to her if we should do it after the lecture that was after lucnh, and she wrote she would give me an answer during the lecture, because the trains didnīt go this day, because of some strike. Then at lunch she left with this male friend of hers, and her shy female friend and didnīt come back for the lecture. She wrote to me that she couldnīt do the assignment today and that she was sorry. Then wrote something i found funny and i responded "You know what, i really like you sometimes haha". She saw the message after about 2-3 minutes i noticed. Then after about 30-45 minutes, she liked the message with a crying laughing smiley.

Tuesday

We meet early, just me and her to work on an assignment. I had said to myself, that if she comes all shined up again, i would tell her that she looks good and then maybe proceed with telling her that i like her. Well she did come all shined up, but for some reason i couldnīt even muster up the courage to tell her that she looked good, then how was i even suppose to tell her that i liked her. I felt like i had failed the opportunity the universe gave me. At first i figured she would only come as shined up because of me, because she made sure to tell me beforehand that we had all day to work on the assigment, then i figured that she didnīt have any other plans, so why else would she come all shined up.

We had a group meeting later that day. I arrived at the meeting with my main poi, but we ended up sitting at the opposite sides of each other., because i kind of chose to not sit next to her. Then she had to go out for lunch, i donīt know if it was with that same guy again, she calls a friend, but when she came back from lunch her makeup was gone. While she was out, i texted her if she could buy something for me, she wrote maybe. When she came back, she had bought it and said that they didnīt have it the one place where she looked, so she had to go to an even bigger place to look. I wondered why she would go to so much trouble buying a small thing for me. I asked if i should transfer her the money with my mobile app, but she said that it didnīt matter, i could just buy her something another day. During our group work meeting, i noticed she looked at me a couple of times from the opposite side of the table, but whenever i looked back, she would look away in a weird kind of way.

Then when the rest of the group left and we were alone to work on the assignment, i asked if i should move over to her, but she said "Nah, i have to get this done first, then i can move over to you". But I didnīt really like where i was sitting, so i said "Iīm moving over at that side", and she said "Just move my stuff over there then"  and then proceeded to move a chair length away from me. She shied away from touching me as well. She seemed kind of negative and i wondered if she was angry with me because she had hoped i would say something to her earlier. I know, wild assumption, but somehow i thought it was connected with me not telling her i liked her or something to that effect. She did seem interested in my personal life today though, at least she asked a few questions

Then at one point a female friend of hers entered and she kept starring at me and laughing, while i talked to her. She was acting very weird, but i donīt know if thatīs just because she is weird. My main poi seemed unhappy at that point and looked down her phone.

Wednesday

I didnīt go to school today and my main poi texted me when we should meet. When i said i was staying home, she came up with some long explaination why it probably be best for her to stay home as well. I felt bad that i hadnīt followed the opportunity i was given yesterday and telling her i liked her, so in poor judgement i guess, i decided to write her a text. After i had spent almost half the day coming up with a text i thought was decent, i spent 4 hours just looking at it, afraid of sending it, because i wasnīt sure if it was a good idea. Then I somehow ended up sending it.

This was the text i sended to her, just tranlated from my language to english

"You looked good yesterday btw. I think itīs too bad i didnīt say anything, when i thought 'wow she looks hot today", when you walked in the door yesterday morning. I guess im just bad at giving compliments to a person i have a crush (yeah, iīm a little bit more than just into you by now) but who isnīt realt interested in me. But that is not your fault, you deserve them anyway ;)"

She didnīt open the text the entire day, then when she did open it late at night, she didnīt respond.

Thurday

I was getting nervous that i had freaked her out, or if she had a boyfriend, or saw someone (maybe that guy she keeps calling a friend), so during the morning, i texted her a long reply, saying that i was sorry if i freaked her out, came up with a weak ass apology as to why I would even say something like that to a girl i was in group with, who havenīt shown me any interest. Basically my explaination was that i had tried a drug i had never tried before with some friends the day before. I also said that i didnīt mean to make things awkward and told her that i didnīt want to share this with the group and stuff. I donīt why, but at the time i felt horrible for sending that message, mainly because she hadnīt replied. I ended my message with "And even though i know youīre crazy about me, but just wonīt admit it haha ;), can you at least send something like 'i hereby confirm that iīm not interested', so i know we can both laugh at it and so i know you donīt feel itīs that awkward". Well, she didnīt reply, instead she just liked my message from the day before with a thumbs up.

At my way to school, i kept wondering why she would like that message where i told her i had a crush on her. So i texted her if she was at the school. I did that because i wanted to talk to her face to face. But she didnīt reply at all. I actually thought she wouldnīt show up that day, even though we had a group meeting after lunch. Then when i was sitting at lunch with some friends, i saw her with that guy friend again, and i started to wonder if they are actually a thing, but she just doesnīt like to tell anybody that or something. I didnīt want to look at her, but mainly because i didnīt want to look at her friend, so i prentended i didnīt notice her, but then they stopped right at the end of the table we were sitting (It was a long table), so i just started talking with my friends, trying to ignore she was there. She most defiently knew i was there, and acted like she wasnīt avoiding me. Then after about 10 minutes, she left with her male friend. I figured since she was there, she would come to the group meeting.

On the way to the group meeting, i was talking with my friends, and i noticed she sat alone at a table. I could see she looked up after me, out the corner of my eye, but again i prentended not to notice her, because i figured she would be at the group meeting. She didnīt show up though, so i texted her "I had hoped to talk to you today. But are you even coming", she still ignored me, then i wrote "I take that as a no? I must admit that i feel really bad if itīs because of me". She opened it but still ignored me. Now she was ignoring me very obviously on messenger for some reason, where she normally never do that. She also, always tell the group if she isnīt coming, but today there was nothing.

Iīm not going to make wild assumptions on this anymore, since it was those that led me here. Iīm just going to say, that maybe she will quit class enterily now because of me, and i feel horrible about it. Iīm not sure if i will ever see her again to be honest. I think i messed up somewhere along the way.

Offline Kosmic

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Re: My progress
« Reply #35 on: November 09, 2018, 02:56:51 AM »
donīt know if she just donīt want to communicate interest, she is playing hard to get or she just isnīt interested anymore.

You've seen first hand right here how pointless it is to twist yourself up in wild assumptions. Become aware when doing this again next time and stop it earlier. Believe only that what you see for yourself....as you did when you eventually caught up with her.

The rest does not matter too much. You just need to worry about being the best and most natural Kosmic you can be, don't fake anything. She'll like you most when you're being your best. If she don't, who cares? Plenty more where she came from.

I know. Wild assumptions havenīt really brought me much good.I need to be more aware and focus on being my best.

Offline Kosmic

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Re: My progress
« Reply #36 on: November 09, 2018, 06:31:07 PM »
its over now i think

So she answered me this morning. She wrote "I dont really feel like talking...I feel like the whole situation is awkward and weird. I hope you can respect that  :) I left yesterday, because i didnt feel like coming, no deeper meaning to that"

I responded "I understand and of course respect it 100%. Im really sorry to have brought you in that situation, it was a brain fart from my side. I had hoped we could just laugh at how stupid i was, but i respect that it is too awkward. I feel like that as well right now"

Right after i texted her, i arrived at the group meeting we had today and ran into het. She smiled awkwardly at me and looked down. I said good morning and she said good morning. Then she sat at differrent table than.the.rest of us, and kept talking with someone over the phone while wearing head phones and working on her assignment. I noticed she looked my way a couple of times and her body language was kind of pointing in my direction. But whenever she talked to me, she couldnt look me in the eyes. She left early. I could feel she felt very awkward about the while thing and i wish i could have said or done anything to make it less awkward.

Now im going to just focus on myself and being my best. But i could use some advice regarding with what to do with her. Should i give her some space and continue RS, or should i just forget RS at the moment?

Offline Bacon of Canada

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Re: My progress
« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2018, 06:26:03 AM »
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I would stop rs completely right now and she will feel the shift. She might pursue you after she no longer feels your energy.

Offline Anna1408

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Re: My progress
« Reply #38 on: November 11, 2018, 10:54:20 PM »
If it were me I'd be inclined to continue rsing her, but to back off completely in real life and outwardly pay her no more attention. Maybe give it a chance to work on its own, without trying to hurry it or pressure her. If after a few more weeks she doesn't show interest, I'd accept it's not going to happen, and move on.

Offline Hapoalim

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Re: My progress
« Reply #39 on: November 12, 2018, 12:25:24 AM »
I haven't been here in a while and came back now and saw your posts.
My advise for you is if you really want her stop keeping tabs on your progress. Stop writing and giving focus to your current reality. Stop what you are doing! If you want something then imagine what you want..live in that imagination and let it be your only reality. Live from the end. Highly recommend Neville Goddard.
Stop with the RS and other stuff. At least for now. Work on loving yourself coz how you feel about yourself and what you see in your current reality is all you..you pushed out.
AND TAKE NO ACTION IN THE REAL WORLD..ALL ACTION YOU TAKE WILL BE DONE IN YOUR IMAGINATION!!

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