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Offline seatostars

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He came back.
« on: September 03, 2018, 02:15:25 PM »
Hello,

My ex boyfriend (35) and I (33) broke up last October after about almost 6 years together. He asked me for coffee 6 months later, where he told me he jumped into a rebound relationship days after we had broken up, which lasted 4-6 weeks. He told me they didn't have sex, but they made out about a dozen times and fooled around twice. He told me that he did not physically cheat on me, but did say that he emotionally cheated (with her) leading up to our breakup.

After we met for coffee in April, we began to see each other. It has been really rocky. I have felt really hurt from finding out about all of the gross, dramatic details of his rebound, which I insisted I wanted at the time and he reluctantly gave. I am trying not to focus on it, because I don't want to bring about any more hurt, but I it is hard for me to look at him the same.

I am wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where someone has rebounded and come back and would be willing to share their experience, or what helped them. I have been doing a lot of self love activities as well as meditations on letting go. I feel I manifested him back into my life, but now that I know the backstory, I'm not sure I desire him anymore. 

Thank you so much for listening and for any input you might have I am grateful.

Hugs.

« Last Edit: September 04, 2018, 10:57:40 PM by seatostars »

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2018, 02:16:29 AM »
Hey seatostars,

Beautiful name. Is it possibly you have felt unworthy of love or abandoned yourself, at some point? Think on it, only you can answer.

You are a unique, beautiful woman, worthy of love, and a wonderful relationship. If you feel that he is no longer the one, heal then create one.

If you want him back, see the end result of a healthy, loving relationship and that you are not only worthy you will accept nothing less. If you feel you brought it on by fear, then dissolve the fear and see it working. See the end result of trust, love and respect.

Even better have your realized now your worth and simply have decided you deserve better?

 If he was reflecting that,then you now  have the choice to go back and see him treating you better, or realizing we can't change another but can ourselves. That some people treat others, or love like interchangeable car parts, and maybe you feel worthy of more at this point. So he could go on to do the same methods he always does and will someone accept it? Yes, will you if you no longer want that life no. Doesn't mean that is bad.  It simply means sometimes they reflect what we are doing to ourselves, and need to see to stop the pattern. So you bless and thank them for the message and move on to better. Forgive yourself and him so you can let go of the negative charge that gives those not best for us any power over if you chose to let go.   

It can be very empowering for some to learn of their self worth, power, any blocks or self sabotaging patterns.

Either way if you take him back see he loves and respects you.

 Or, put a request in the que for an awesome man, and relationship that will now meet the needs at the level you are at, if he is not. Use creative visualization, and your power to see the end result now of exactly what you want. It will come if you have no doubts, and faith the size of a mustard seed. Move the mountain of lack, doubt or fear and see what you want and go for it. There is no try. If you have doubts of him, see why.

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Offline seatostars

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2018, 12:48:39 AM »
Thank you! That was such a thoughtful response, and so so sweet of you.

I feel I am uncertain if I want him in my life or not. He has been gone for 3 months across the country with his family (his mother passed away a few months ago) and our contact has gotten much less over time. When she passed away, I offered words of love and kindness, but didn't offer to return for the funeral even though I was extremely close with his family. He had taken his rebound relationship across Canada to meet his mother in the weeks they were together, and it would have felt wrong of me to be there, as I felt so much negativity from him bringing her to meet them.

I find myself not writing, and even not responding to many of his messages now, which ask how I am doing. After reading your message, I feel it may be best to visualize my ideal love, and to work through letting go of the negativity and fear, as well as feeling the end result.

I have had a lot of success with thought whispering in the past. Within an hour of us meeting for the first time, he told me many of the statements verbatim I had thought whispered to him during meditation ("you are first best", "you're the one"). As well, he told me that the girl he was with actually hummed our song aloud on a regular basis which caused him to think of me. Very interesting!

I am really cautious of what I visualize, because I am much more aware of how powerful it is. I have really only been focusing on self love for the past several months, which has made me feel quite happy much of the time, but I haven't wanted to do any active methods such as visualization or thought whispering until I was certain of the path I wanted to take. Now, I think I see that if I visualize more generally, the path will naturally unfold.

Thank you again! I truly appreciate your words.







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Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #3 on: Today at 08:15:37 AM »
I find myself not writing, and even not responding to many of his messages now, which ask how I am doing. After reading your message, I feel it may be best to visualize my ideal love, and to work through letting go of the negativity and fear, as well as feeling the end result.

I have had a lot of success with thought whispering in the past. Within an hour of us meeting for the first time, he told me many of the statements verbatim I had thought whispered to him during meditation ("you are first best", "you're the one"). As well, he told me that the girl he was with actually hummed our song aloud on a regular basis which caused him to think of me. Very interesting!

I am really cautious of what I visualize, because I am much more aware of how powerful it is. I have really only been focusing on self love for the past several months, which has made me feel quite happy much of the time, but I haven't wanted to do any active methods such as visualization or thought whispering until I was certain of the path I wanted to take. Now, I think I see that if I visualize more generally, the path will naturally unfold.

Thank you again! I truly appreciate your words.

My pleasure and so glad it helped you. I hope all is well now. Sorry for the delay. You have the power, and knowledge, now mixed with pure will and self love you will have a beautiful destiny. You have the right to be loved, treasured, and to have the perfect relationship for you.

 If a new person, then see it, visualize it and bring to life as you know you can. Let me know.

 I see many wonderful things ahead for you. Create the life and love life you want, you are a passionate person.

 Find the one that resonates and gives that back, don't be the only giver in the relationship. If him and he comes back and you want then see it is reciprocated. Just realize it is OK to move on, with self love to a new situation if you want. Bow wrapped ex's sitting on the curb is no shame...LOL if you so chose.

I think I know what path you will chose, but again is your choice and I see a wonderful one. You are a creative, passionate, giving person, so see the end result of what you want, and he ( meaning the man of your dreams or perfect list)  and that life will be there soon. Align with love and a passionate, respectful, loving, honorable relationship.

Ask, believe and receive. Have no doubts. Be in pure faith.
« Last Edit: Today at 08:35:59 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

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