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Offline seatostars

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He came back.
« on: September 03, 2018, 02:15:25 PM »
Hello,

My ex boyfriend (35) and I (33) broke up last October after about almost 6 years together. He asked me for coffee 6 months later, where he told me he jumped into a rebound relationship days after we had broken up, which lasted 4-6 weeks. He told me they didn't have sex, but they made out about a dozen times and fooled around twice. He told me that he did not physically cheat on me, but did say that he emotionally cheated (with her) leading up to our breakup.

After we met for coffee in April, we began to see each other. It has been really rocky. I have felt really hurt from finding out about all of the gross, dramatic details of his rebound, which I insisted I wanted at the time and he reluctantly gave. I am trying not to focus on it, because I don't want to bring about any more hurt, but I it is hard for me to look at him the same.

I am wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where someone has rebounded and come back and would be willing to share their experience, or what helped them. I have been doing a lot of self love activities as well as meditations on letting go. I feel I manifested him back into my life, but now that I know the backstory, I'm not sure I desire him anymore. 

Thank you so much for listening and for any input you might have I am grateful.

Hugs.

« Last Edit: September 04, 2018, 10:57:40 PM by seatostars »

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2018, 02:16:29 AM »
Hey seatostars,

Beautiful name. Is it possibly you have felt unworthy of love or abandoned yourself, at some point? Think on it, only you can answer.

You are a unique, beautiful woman, worthy of love, and a wonderful relationship. If you feel that he is no longer the one, heal then create one.

If you want him back, see the end result of a healthy, loving relationship and that you are not only worthy you will accept nothing less. If you feel you brought it on by fear, then dissolve the fear and see it working. See the end result of trust, love and respect.

Even better have your realized now your worth and simply have decided you deserve better?

 If he was reflecting that,then you now  have the choice to go back and see him treating you better, or realizing we can't change another but can ourselves. That some people treat others, or love like interchangeable car parts, and maybe you feel worthy of more at this point. So he could go on to do the same methods he always does and will someone accept it? Yes, will you if you no longer want that life no. Doesn't mean that is bad.  It simply means sometimes they reflect what we are doing to ourselves, and need to see to stop the pattern. So you bless and thank them for the message and move on to better. Forgive yourself and him so you can let go of the negative charge that gives those not best for us any power over if you chose to let go.   

It can be very empowering for some to learn of their self worth, power, any blocks or self sabotaging patterns.

Either way if you take him back see he loves and respects you.

 Or, put a request in the que for an awesome man, and relationship that will now meet the needs at the level you are at, if he is not. Use creative visualization, and your power to see the end result now of exactly what you want. It will come if you have no doubts, and faith the size of a mustard seed. Move the mountain of lack, doubt or fear and see what you want and go for it. There is no try. If you have doubts of him, see why.

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Offline seatostars

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2018, 12:48:39 AM »
Thank you! That was such a thoughtful response, and so so sweet of you.

I feel I am uncertain if I want him in my life or not. He has been gone for 3 months across the country with his family (his mother passed away a few months ago) and our contact has gotten much less over time. When she passed away, I offered words of love and kindness, but didn't offer to return for the funeral even though I was extremely close with his family. He had taken his rebound relationship across Canada to meet his mother in the weeks they were together, and it would have felt wrong of me to be there, as I felt so much negativity from him bringing her to meet them.

I find myself not writing, and even not responding to many of his messages now, which ask how I am doing. After reading your message, I feel it may be best to visualize my ideal love, and to work through letting go of the negativity and fear, as well as feeling the end result.

I have had a lot of success with thought whispering in the past. Within an hour of us meeting for the first time, he told me many of the statements verbatim I had thought whispered to him during meditation ("you are first best", "you're the one"). As well, he told me that the girl he was with actually hummed our song aloud on a regular basis which caused him to think of me. Very interesting!

I am really cautious of what I visualize, because I am much more aware of how powerful it is. I have really only been focusing on self love for the past several months, which has made me feel quite happy much of the time, but I haven't wanted to do any active methods such as visualization or thought whispering until I was certain of the path I wanted to take. Now, I think I see that if I visualize more generally, the path will naturally unfold.

Thank you again! I truly appreciate your words.







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Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2018, 08:15:37 AM »
I find myself not writing, and even not responding to many of his messages now, which ask how I am doing. After reading your message, I feel it may be best to visualize my ideal love, and to work through letting go of the negativity and fear, as well as feeling the end result.

I have had a lot of success with thought whispering in the past. Within an hour of us meeting for the first time, he told me many of the statements verbatim I had thought whispered to him during meditation ("you are first best", "you're the one"). As well, he told me that the girl he was with actually hummed our song aloud on a regular basis which caused him to think of me. Very interesting!

I am really cautious of what I visualize, because I am much more aware of how powerful it is. I have really only been focusing on self love for the past several months, which has made me feel quite happy much of the time, but I haven't wanted to do any active methods such as visualization or thought whispering until I was certain of the path I wanted to take. Now, I think I see that if I visualize more generally, the path will naturally unfold.

Thank you again! I truly appreciate your words.

My pleasure and so glad it helped you. I hope all is well now. Sorry for the delay. You have the power, and knowledge, now mixed with pure will and self love you will have a beautiful destiny. You have the right to be loved, treasured, and to have the perfect relationship for you.

 If a new person, then see it, visualize it and bring to life as you know you can. Let me know.

 I see many wonderful things ahead for you. Create the life and love life you want, you are a passionate person.

 Find the one that resonates and gives that back, don't be the only giver in the relationship. If him and he comes back and you want then see it is reciprocated. Just realize it is OK to move on, with self love to a new situation if you want. Bow wrapped ex's sitting on the curb is no shame...LOL if you so chose.

I think I know what path you will chose, but again is your choice and I see a wonderful one. You are a creative, passionate, giving person, so see the end result of what you want, and he ( meaning the man of your dreams or perfect list)  and that life will be there soon. Align with love and a passionate, respectful, loving, honorable relationship.

Ask, believe and receive. Have no doubts. Be in pure faith.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2018, 08:35:59 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

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Offline seatostars

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2018, 01:16:21 AM »
Oh gosh, I just want to give you a big cuddle. I read this last night and welled up a little (in a good way). I am so deeply grateful to you. I have such an appreciation of the magic of true love, so this has been quite a difficult journey for me. I feel I am to a place of being really self loving, and beginning to radiate that love out to the world once again.

I am going to begin to visualize tonight. I have accepted and let go that he is not for me in his current state (AT ALL... run away!). I feel certain that when he returns he will reach out, and I am hopeful that he is more in alignment to the kind of love that I want at that point. I suppose in a way I am not choosing which path that I want necessarily (him or someone else), but instead am looking at the type of love I want.

I thank you so much again for your warm words. You really are an angel!
« Last Edit: September 26, 2018, 01:19:17 AM by seatostars »

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Offline Magneta007

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2018, 01:29:30 AM »
What are you going to start visualizing tonight? I dont visualize ever unless I am spell casting so was curious

Funny while thinking about what you are visualizing since I was really curious I stumbled upon this passage


Quote
Therefore, the approach I have always advocated and have found to be very effectiveness is to simply take a light touch. This does not mean denying that the problem exists, but simply toimmerse yourself in an inner state where the issue does not even exist! You are not trying to override reality by replacing your current issue with some “positive” version of reality. Don’t do that! It seldom works. Instead, take your “negative” issue and turn it into something null or void. Transmute it into what Quantum Physicists call the zero-point field, and what the Buddha calls the “void”. Jesus calls this the feeling of “peace beyond all understanding”. It is the nothingness, the emptiness, and yet the wholeness of everything.



And thats exactly how I feel about it as well. Its all about how you feel(worthy being the best state) then what you visualize
« Last Edit: September 26, 2018, 01:41:57 AM by Magneta007 »

Offline seatostars

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2018, 09:15:23 AM »
Hi Magneta,

I read the passage and loved it. I am really curious if you have gotten to a place where the current problem is moot, and how. I absolutely have a difficult time with that! Sometimes it's like a snowball rolling down a hill when I begin to think of details.

I like to go into meditation and visualize a man's arms around me. Historically, they have been the arms of my partner. I visualize leaning back into them, and feel the sensation (warmth, their breath, touch, the feel of their body) and then focus on feeling loved and grateful for being in such a connected union. I tend to have a difficult time moving around when I'm visualizing (I get too caught up in details), so I usually stand still and try to focus on all of my senses instead.

« Last Edit: September 26, 2018, 09:18:01 AM by seatostars »

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2018, 10:49:30 AM »
Oh gosh, I just want to give you a big cuddle. I read this last night and welled up a little (in a good way). I am so deeply grateful to you. I have such an appreciation of the magic of true love, so this has been quite a difficult journey for me. I feel I am to a place of being really self loving, and beginning to radiate that love out to the world once again.

I am going to begin to visualize tonight. I have accepted and let go that he is not for me in his current state (AT ALL... run away!). I feel certain that when he returns he will reach out, and I am hopeful that he is more in alignment to the kind of love that I want at that point. I suppose in a way I am not choosing which path that I want necessarily (him or someone else), but instead am looking at the type of love I want.

I thank you so much again for your warm words. You really are an angel!

Thank you so much Seatostars, that means so much to me. Truly, I appreciate you.

I have wanted your post to settle with you, now want to remind with love and respect,  YOU are the Prize. Never forget that ever again. You are right you are and truly radiating love, and so much more will now come into you life. Look to the right, there is many who would love and value you but could not come in due to you were in a relationship, which is OK. Just pointing out that love is there and always will be, align as you are and the perfect match is there. Him or another. Meditate on that. Even if you have the other one again, it will have to be a new relationship where there is balance. Be open to receive what is best for you. You have got this, faith and only faith. See the end of what you want.

  "To  thine  own  self be  true.''

Sometimes when we give too much, become the fairy godmother in the relationship whether for peace, or thinking we can fix it for the other one, it becomes draining. Be the sun, again as you are. Remember you are the prize. Put yourself on the pedestal and see love, be love, radiate love, and make sure self love and care first this time around. As you already are. You are wise, loving, caring and it will and is coming back to you. You have got this. Don't ever forget it, you are precious and will now only accept the best that appreciates you completely. Faith, pure faith. No doubts... there is no try only do. As you are. I declare so it is. I see it for you, now you see it.

If you are interested, and from states let me know, they are just about full, but you can share a room with a few of my friends, and come for free. A workshop on manifesting love, though I don't think you need it....lol ;).
« Last Edit: October 07, 2018, 01:51:56 PM by AngelusofftheSea »

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: He came back.
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2018, 12:24:48 PM »
"Divine Love is now working through me to adjust all the details of my life. Love transforms my life now. " Ponder

"I AM receiving  my highest good of mind body and affairs now. My accumulated good of past and present now pours forth into my life as rich blessings. This is a time of divine fulfillment. I welcome my accumulated good now. I give thanks for divine restoration in my mind, body and affairs. " Ponder

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