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Author Topic: Friends that ghost  (Read 394 times)

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Online siamesegirl

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Friends that ghost
« on: September 01, 2018, 04:25:36 PM »
Out with three girlfriends last night and we were talking about people not contacting, going off the radar etc. Not in terms of romantic partners, we were talking about friends, friends of different levels. My own views on this are quite strong and firm. For me to choose not to interact with any of my friends, they would have had to do something immense and dramatic, moreover they'd know about it. I wouldn't just do a disappearing act. I choose friends well, keep them and interact well. I don't "have the face on", sulk etc. What you see is what you get, I'm transparent.

They were of the view that people disappear because circumstances change, such as moving away, having families, that sort of thing. Yes that happens but is it really a reason to jettison a friend because your circumstances are different? Phone calls, texts, Facebook chat, emails don't take long. It's something I've never understood.

If I've been ignored after a few attempts at contact I've sent them a final message telling them I am inferring they no longer want to be in touch and though I wish they'd have been brave enough to be honest, this was the last they'd hear from me. I don't do messing people about.

Maybe my views are extreme?

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 05:22:42 PM »
Maybe my views are extreme?

In my opinion, yes. You never know what someone is going through. Just because you have time to send texts, phone calls, browse social media willy-nilly - doesn't mean someone else does. Some people have really difficult lives and honestly? Keeping up with others when you have so much going on is exhausting. Things happen, it's life.

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Online siamesegirl

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2018, 06:36:00 PM »
I don't browse social media Willy nilly, I use it to get in touch/keep in touch. I work full time, have a part time cat sitting job, am also studying. I see your point but I still have time to send a text or email even if it's to say I'm busy and let's catch up when we have time. I'd never ignore anyone.

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2018, 06:55:34 PM »
I don't browse social media Willy nilly, I use it to get in touch/keep in touch. I work full time, have a part time cat sitting job, am also studying. I see your point but I still have time to send a text or email even if it's to say I'm busy and let's catch up when we have time. I'd never ignore anyone.

Ok but just because YOU have time, doesn't mean others do. And honestly, some people would rather catch up with their families than their friends. Nothing wrong with that.

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Offline Lightwinger

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2018, 08:43:29 PM »
-They just see you as an acquaintance rather than a friend.
-Facebook isn't necessarily for real friends.
-They're just hangout friends, for drinking, partying, etc, etc. They don't see you as anything deeper, or you don't see them as anything deeper.
-They're genuinely busy.
-There's a death in their family, or something happened, etc, etc.

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Online siamesegirl

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2018, 09:13:15 PM »
My "Facebook friends" are real friends who are on Facebook, not people I've met on Facebook. I was discussing a concept rather than bringing a situation to the table that I want advice on.

Offline Syrena

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2018, 09:54:29 PM »
TheLittleBat is right. Sometimes people are going through something in their lives and are not in a mental state to keep contacting and answering others. I know the other people might think they just dumped them or donít care about them anymore but itís not the case mostly times.

I am talking from experience. I have been in a low mental state before and kind of ďdepressedĒ feelings that I didnít feel like talking with anyone. Even my own family and close friends. No matter how much I loved them I was just not in the mood. And they thought I stopped caring about them or was too busy that I forgot about them. That was not the case.

Everyone reacts differently to situations.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2018, 09:56:39 PM by Syrena »

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Re: Friends that ghost
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2018, 04:18:46 PM »
Been talking to a friend this morning who said when he was out with two other friends, all guys, a week or two back one of the friends said to my friend that he didn't think his girlfriend was much of a looker. He said he and his other friend challenged him. And he said when this friend calls again to arrange a meet up he's going to be "busy".

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