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Author Topic: She left again and vowed never to return!  (Read 3720 times)

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Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #45 on: August 15, 2018, 06:40:03 PM »
It's not about her, though. It's about him. His thoughts, feelings and beliefs are projected outwards and he gets that reality.
He has shitty thoughts about women and this other girl so he'll keep getting shitty situations. It's not about them, it's always about you.
My mum is a woman, I have sisters, they're women. I love and respect them. I had a girlfriend, she was a woman. I'm trying to get her back because I love her and want to be with her but it is proving complex. My thoughts and feelings are indeed projected outwards and I am working on that. The truth is, I have seen and been with my fair share of women who have no qualms playing with a man's heart. Playing with someone's heart is not gender exclusive. It happens both with men and women. The moment I say something about women doing it, all of a sudden, I have shitty thoughts on women. I mean, Possum just came clean and admitted it! There's nothing wrong with that at all. This world has become quite strange.

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #46 on: August 15, 2018, 06:56:11 PM »
I think he is saying this to make excuses for her, maybe?

Siamesegirl, maybe it's me trying to excuse her bad behaviour or an internal belief based on external experiences. I'll figure it out.

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #47 on: August 15, 2018, 07:27:17 PM »
This link is highly informative. Thought I should share it for those in my position.

http://www.powerfulintentions.org/forum/topics/getting-your-ex-lover-back

Offline possum-power

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #48 on: August 15, 2018, 07:30:31 PM »
Well I think you sound like someone who thinks deeply about stuff and is capable of seeing diff perspectives - yes surely both a good friend and a good partner. So your original complaining tone - well I guess it came out of sheer frustration!!

How about giving her - not an ultimatum exactly but rather just saying, what you need out of the situation. Idk maybe something like 'I'm happy to stay in contact and keep seeing you, but then we're together and have to be trying to figure stuff out together. I won't have it that you use me as an emotional crutch till something else comes up for you... That isn't going to work for me'

Then it's her choice. You could also tell her you'll wait a while for her to decide - say a week or so - but after that she's on her own.
(just a suggestion, you don't want to be waiting there for 300 years, do you  ::))

Btw I'm sorry about my original post, I was cross anyway ...it's a bit like shopping when you're hungry. Bad idea.

p.s. I didn't sleep with him  >:(

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #49 on: August 15, 2018, 07:31:33 PM »
Hey Possum, I definitely won't wait around forever for her to come back to me. I will move forward, not backward. She has decided to exit my life, I already have my answer. Whether she comes back or not is not up to me. I'd love it if she and I were to work out but if we don't, well, life is so much more than any one relationship.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2018, 03:00:33 PM by new_believer »

Offline possum-power

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #50 on: August 15, 2018, 07:32:29 PM »
Ooh yes 'positive selfishness', I love it  :D

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #51 on: August 15, 2018, 08:51:38 PM »
Everyone is you pushed out. Stop blaming women for your problems and start looking inwards and blaming yourself.

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #52 on: August 15, 2018, 09:46:51 PM »
Quote from: TheLittleBat link=topic=26509.msg
222815#msg222815 date=1534346498
Everyone is you pushed out. Stop blaming women for your problems and start looking inwards and blaming yourself.

What has made you so bitter and vicious littlebat?  Chill out.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Even if you don't think it's right

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #53 on: August 15, 2018, 09:51:30 PM »
Quote from: TheLittleBat link=topic=26509.msg
222815#msg222815 date=1534346498
Everyone is you pushed out. Stop blaming women for your problems and start looking inwards and blaming yourself.

What has made you so bitter and vicious littlebat?  Chill out.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Even if you don't think it's right

You're blaming other people for your problems instead of yourself. You clearly lack self love and self respect. That's not women's problems.
That's YOUR problem and why women want nothing to do with you. Between you and I - you are the one who is bitter and vicious.

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #54 on: August 15, 2018, 09:58:17 PM »
Well I think you sound like someone who thinks deeply about stuff and is capable of seeing diff perspectives - yes surely both a good friend and a good partner. So your original complaining tone - well I guess it came out of sheer frustration!!

How about giving her - not an ultimatum exactly but rather just saying, what you need out of the situation. Idk maybe something like 'I'm happy to stay in contact and keep seeing you, but then we're together and have to be trying to figure stuff out together. I won't have it that you use me as an emotional crutch till something else comes up for you... That isn't going to work for me'

Then it's her choice. You could also tell her you'll wait a while for her to decide - say a week or so - but after that she's on her own.
(just a suggestion, you don't want to be waiting there for 300 years, do you  )

Btw I'm sorry about my original post, I was cross anyway ...it's a bit like shopping when you're hungry. Bad idea.

p.s. I didn't sleep with him 
Thank you possum. I was no angel in the relationship we had but frustrated doesn't even begin to explain how I felt.  I appreciate the compliments. We got no beef you and I.  Your suggestion makes sense but I honestly feel like no contact is the way to go right now.  She is used to having me around and my availability has been taken for granted time and again.  Can't keep doing the same thing  over and over again expecting different results.  It's a big risk I'm taking I know and I could lose her but I need to heal as well.  I can't put her above me anymore.  Heck,  she always puts herself first when push comes to shove anyway. 

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #55 on: August 15, 2018, 10:14:51 PM »
Quote from: TheLittleBat link=topic=26509.msg
222815#msg222815 date=1534346498
Everyone is you pushed out. Stop blaming women for your problems and start looking inwards and blaming yourself.

What has made you so bitter and vicious littlebat?  Chill out.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Even if you don't think it's right

You're blaming other people for your problems instead of yourself. You clearly lack self love and self respect. That's not women's problems.
That's YOUR problem and why women want nothing to do with you. Between you and I - you are the one who is bitter and vicious.
Oh dear littlebat, I have dealt with people like you,  male and female alike.  Listen,  I know I have problems with self love and self respect.  I've aired it out here in a forum of strangers to seek wisdom and advice.  You don't need to remind me that.  I'm already dealing. I'm not blaming women for my problems.  In fact,  the context here is my now ex girlfriend keeps leaving and coming back to me with reckless abandon.  I want that to stop because a relationship cannot be sustained with such behaviour abounding. I mean, doesn't it baffle you that she goes, then she comes back repeatedly?

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #56 on: August 15, 2018, 10:25:55 PM »
Hey New Believer,

I see you got some great advice here. To be honest , your answers are right in your own words, as well as solution. If by chance you want help with that feel free to DM.

You need to decide what you REALLY want out of this. Re read your words, sit down and think later, and your answers are right there. Trust me, it is easier for others to see sometimes for us, then we ourselves, that is OK we have all been there. It is called singing back the way.

There is one simple method to stop it all. I personally think you are strong enough to do it....LOL 

Either way good luck to you.


Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #57 on: August 15, 2018, 10:34:40 PM »
I mean, doesn't it baffle you that she goes, then she comes back repeatedly?

No. Because it tells me these things about you: you think you're not good enough, you think you're second best, you think bad things and unhealthy thoughts about her, you think bad things and thoughts about women, relationships, etc. It doesn't baffle me at all.

It actually makes a lot more sense the more you talk the more the answers as to why she left are showing.

Offline new_believer

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #58 on: August 15, 2018, 10:46:03 PM »
No. Because it tells me these things about you: you think you're not good enough, you think you're second best, you think bad things and unhealthy thoughts about her, you think bad things and thoughts about women, relationships, etc. It doesn't baffle me at all.
That makes a lot more sense now that you say it like that.  I agree with some of what you're saying. My question to you is this, everyone on here has flaws, even you. Is it right to leave a relationship everytime your significant other is not at their best and then return when things feel better or are better? Once we're together,  are we not taking in the world together? If it were me,  I'd support my S.O if they had issues with their psyche,  not bail on them only to return on a whim. In my opinion,  relationships aren't just about happy times and being confident and motivated 100% if the time.  It's about watering your own grass and make it as green as possible. 

Offline TheLittleBat

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Re: She left again and vowed never to return!
« Reply #59 on: August 15, 2018, 10:53:35 PM »
That makes a lot more sense now that you say it like that.  I agree with some of what you're saying. My question to you is this, everyone on here has flaws, even you. Is it right to leave a relationship everytime your significant other is not at their best and then return when things feel better or are better? Once we're together,  are we not taking in the world together? If it were me,  I'd support my S.O if they had issues with their psyche,  not bail on them only to return on a whim. In my opinion,  relationships aren't just about happy times and being confident and motivated 100% if the time.  It's about watering your own grass and make it as green as possible. 

Again, it's not them. It's you. Your view of them is: they have problems, their issues is causing problems in our relationship, etc. and then that gets photocopied and reflected into you reality.

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