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Author Topic: Small update with my ex!  (Read 592 times)

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Offline Gember

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Small update with my ex!
« on: April 14, 2018, 07:28:05 PM »
Hello everyone!
I had been trying ďno contactĒ for about 2 weeks (except for when he told me to delete our pictures)

This is the longest me and my ex have ever been separated (3 weeks) but I believe itís getting better between us! A few days ago I didnít notice my phone was still on and I ďaccidentlyĒ sent him a heart via instagram while doing the dishes. I say ďaccidentlyĒ because now Iím convinced it was meant to happen. After that, we started talking again. He added me back on snapchat, and yesterday we met really quickly just to exchange each otherís stuff we stil had at home. He finds every excuse to talk to me, sending me pictures of his baby niece (we were going to see her the weekend we broke it off), asking if I know any apps for his new phone, literally everything he could think of, even that his mom made dinner for him, he texts me. Also, he asked me if we could please stay friends, because he canít pretend not to know me, and he doesnít want to pretend not to know me. Last time, right before we got back together, he asked me if I wanted to be friends with benefits, so Iín convinced heís again, just afraid to ask me if I still want him back. Iím continuing to live my life and be happy and grateful because I know everything I deserve and want to have is on itís way to me ;D

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 07:51:14 PM »
Haven't you mentioned before that he asked to be friends with benefits on an earlier occasion? It's your call but I'd avoid it like the plague. It's a silly description for that sort of relationship. It's not a friendship and usually one person gets the benefits i.e. sex without strings.

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Offline PrototypeOA

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 08:06:16 PM »
I agree with siamesegirl. You are likely to get hurt in this kind of situation because you are hoping to get him back with sex, and he is getting all the benefits except he doesn't have to be commited to you. Next thing you know you will find out he is with another girls and just using you for sex.

I don't want to break your heart honey. I am a guy and I tell you - Men are pigs! It is easier for me just to have sex with some girl than to court her, take her out, give her my time etc... Do not accept those terms. If you do there is 99% chance you will get hurt. It is either a relationship or nothing. No friends with benefits bullshit and stuff. It will only make him treat you like a doormat. I mean how could he respect a girl that is willing to give him her body in exchange for what? For nothing?

Get your head straight. Love you. :*

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Offline Gember

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2018, 10:05:13 PM »
Haven't you mentioned before that he asked to be friends with benefits on an earlier occasion? It's your call but I'd avoid it like the plague. It's a silly description for that sort of relationship. It's not a friendship and usually one person gets the benefits i.e. sex without strings.
You just gave yourself away.. well at least I know you didnít actually read my post at all lol ;D no hard feelings.

He explained later that he was afraid he hurt me so bad that I wouldnít want a serious relationship with him anymore. This time he literally asked just to be friends, but because last time he was just afraid to ask me to be serious with him again, I think this time is the same.

Offline Gember

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2018, 10:10:26 PM »
I agree with siamesegirl. You are likely to get hurt in this kind of situation because you are hoping to get him back with sex, and he is getting all the benefits except he doesn't have to be commited to you. Next thing you know you will find out he is with another girls and just using you for sex.

I don't want to break your heart honey. I am a guy and I tell you - Men are pigs! It is easier for me just to have sex with some girl than to court her, take her out, give her my time etc... Do not accept those terms. If you do there is 99% chance you will get hurt. It is either a relationship or nothing. No friends with benefits bullshit and stuff. It will only make him treat you like a doormat. I mean how could he respect a girl that is willing to give him her body in exchange for what? For nothing?

Get your head straight. Love you. :*

Okay but this just hurts me. Honestly, how can you say that Iím hoping to get him back with SEX? I have NOT had sex with him since we broke up again. We were not, at any given time, friends with benefits. Right now, we are only FRIENDS.

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2018, 03:42:01 AM »
Haven't you mentioned before that he asked to be friends with benefits on an earlier occasion? It's your call but I'd avoid it like the plague. It's a silly description for that sort of relationship. It's not a friendship and usually one person gets the benefits i.e. sex without strings.
You just gave yourself away.. well at least I know you didn’t actually read my post at all lol ;D no hard feelings.

He explained later that he was afraid he hurt me so bad that I wouldn’t want a serious relationship with him anymore. This time he literally asked just to be friends, but because last time he was just afraid to ask me to be serious with him again, I think this time is the same.
I read it again sorry I thought he had said the FWB thing again recently.

Offline suikaz

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Re: Small update with my ex!
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2018, 09:32:13 PM »
I don't know Gember. I still think it wasn't something you should accept now.

Don't you know when people break up, both are heartbroken. Because we feel fear of losing someone in our life suddenly. Therefore people tend to use their ex partner to sooth the pain of having no one by asking to be friends for a moment. He gave you the 'friend' position in order to he can move on from you. [Watch more of YouTube about how to get ex back ; the one unrelated to loa].
They said...
'Never accept the friend position if you want ex back'

If you accept being friend with him, he won't have time to miss you, nor time to realize he wants you Asa girlfriend. Because you are there! Reachable for him!  While you are friends with him, still have feeling for him and expect to get back together, before you realize, he will date new girl. He uses you to recover from breakup pain, dear.

If he really wants to return, he won't ask to be just friends. He will ask for another chance. And that is only thing you will accept from him. Otherwise you'll get hurt.

So my advices is....
Don't accept him as a friend. Tell him if he wants to get back or something, he should tell. If he really just want to be friends, he should respect your feeling at the moment and don't give hope to you.
During that time, you should practice LOA by focusing only on the relationship you desire. And practice self love and self respect so much.
« Last Edit: April 20, 2018, 09:33:51 PM by suikaz »

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