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Author Topic: Getting ex back -- help :(  (Read 689 times)

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Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #30 on: August 13, 2017, 02:55:42 AM »
@YYS

When you have lack or desperation others can feel it and it repels. Psychologically we are equipped since birth with an inner guidance system to keep us safe, but it is overridden in times of hurt or breakups of the heart. You are feeling like I have to fix or reach out. We have all been there, some handle better than others.

Don't listen to not appropriate advice of never reach out again, as that is some whose minds are always in the negative and can't accept their power let alone YOURS. Don't let them scare you hell if they can't accept theirs don't let them run your mind or accept lack or never ever do etc.

Now it is true when in lack, need or desperation you push them away further. So use this time to not contact for you. To give yourself love, find some goals, good things to share when you talk again, things that make you feel in joy and happiness. The only reason we want someone in our lives is how they make us feel. So start feeling that NOW, by loving yourself, no one owes us happiness we are responsible for that. Any one else just adds to our happiness and love.

You are already on the right track as you are attracting others. SO live in the moment of now and appreciate the person that approached you, appreciate all in your life right now with gratitude and love, and you will attract more. Don't concentrate on lack, or others negative BS as you will attract more posts on it, more in real life and with him.

So find the joy, send him love and forgive the situation, him, you and all involved. See a new relationship with him and the END result of such. Let the universe bring that in the way it will. When you think negative of him, turn it around to something that brings you joy. If you visualize or send love make sure you are only doing it when you can feel 100% unconditional love and joy as he will pick that up.

Start Superman's 30 day challenge when you are ready and have worked on yourself and follow the rules one of which is don't follow negative advice.

LOA is always working it is spiritual law. SO be in joy, love, gratitude the power is within to change your thoughts change your world. DO it today.

ETA: see him in love with your ,respecting you, having loved hearing from you ( revise in your mind), see him reaching out, now see the end result of what you are looking for in this, dating, a relationship, marriage or whatever.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2017, 03:21:30 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

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Offline suspicious_mind

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #31 on: August 15, 2017, 10:37:57 PM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.
shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.



I know you weren't replying to me but i have to jump in here and tell you the truth. No. You only felt positive because you talked to him, it wasn't good. You shouldn't have contacted him. At all. It sounds like he was annoyed and if you continue to message him he will eventually block you. You are killing every chance you may have in the future of him wanting you back. By contacting him you looked desperate and foolish. I'm sorry to be so blunt but like i said i have been there - i was sad just like you are now...I KNOW ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you have got to stop talking to him - don't contact him ever again. EVER. If you do you may as well just say good bye forever. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want you to continue to kill every chance you have. But that is what you are doing. Like i said its harddddddddd but you have GOT to stop. Now. Today.
Make a pledge to yourself that you will never contact him again. Start new, start fresh. The past is the past - you are allowed one last slip up and you made it  - but move on from it and start again.


No No dont be sorry!! I love honesty!! I appreciate what you said!
Tell me how do you deal with the feeling of missing the person. i dont really like how attached I am, and this whole breakup really triggered my abandonment issues!

I need help dealing with missing the person. since the moment i miss him, right afterwards I feel like he's gone for good!

and.. Someone today approached. a really nice guy. and as much as nice it was, i kept thinking why wasn't it my ex. I want to stop believing that there is no one better than him! because It feels like the world isn't abundant!


Honestly you may never fully stop missing him if you truly love/loved him. I still miss my ex now and then. But you know what helped me? It sounds so weird that this ONE article and soundbite helped me heal and move on from all my obsessive feelings.....but you know that Ben Higgins guy from the Bachelor? There was this article about him finding out his ex had a new bf and it went like this...

Overwhelmed, I decided to go for a run, he recalls exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. I was praying the whole time like, God, please release some anxiety. His request was granted. I stopped and thought, if Im the man I claim I want to be, then I need to celebrate Lauren, he says. So if shes happy, I will celebrate that the best I can.

And after reading that i realized that's how I want to be as well. I don't want to only think of what i want and need. I realized that if i love him the way i say i do then i must be okay and happy for him NO MATTER WHAT. And i am.
That doesn't mean that at times i don't get twinges of sadness or wishing things were different, but i had to think about the fact that he is on a journey as well. And if that journey ends up with him and i being reunited then great! if not then it doesn't. I've already done everything i can do - i can't do anymore.
And neither can you. You have already shown your ex how you feel, you have contacted him so he knows you are open to talking. There is nothing more you can do at this point. 

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #32 on: August 15, 2017, 11:17:03 PM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.
shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.



I know you weren't replying to me but i have to jump in here and tell you the truth. No. You only felt positive because you talked to him, it wasn't good. You shouldn't have contacted him. At all. It sounds like he was annoyed and if you continue to message him he will eventually block you. You are killing every chance you may have in the future of him wanting you back. By contacting him you looked desperate and foolish. I'm sorry to be so blunt but like i said i have been there - i was sad just like you are now...I KNOW ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you have got to stop talking to him - don't contact him ever again. EVER. If you do you may as well just say good bye forever. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want you to continue to kill every chance you have. But that is what you are doing. Like i said its harddddddddd but you have GOT to stop. Now. Today.
Make a pledge to yourself that you will never contact him again. Start new, start fresh. The past is the past - you are allowed one last slip up and you made it  - but move on from it and start again.


No No dont be sorry!! I love honesty!! I appreciate what you said!
Tell me how do you deal with the feeling of missing the person. i dont really like how attached I am, and this whole breakup really triggered my abandonment issues!

I need help dealing with missing the person. since the moment i miss him, right afterwards I feel like he's gone for good!

and.. Someone today approached. a really nice guy. and as much as nice it was, i kept thinking why wasn't it my ex. I want to stop believing that there is no one better than him! because It feels like the world isn't abundant!


Honestly you may never fully stop missing him if you truly love/loved him. I still miss my ex now and then. But you know what helped me? It sounds so weird that this ONE article and soundbite helped me heal and move on from all my obsessive feelings.....but you know that Ben Higgins guy from the Bachelor? There was this article about him finding out his ex had a new bf and it went like this...

Overwhelmed, I decided to go for a run, he recalls exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. I was praying the whole time like, God, please release some anxiety. His request was granted. I stopped and thought, if Im the man I claim I want to be, then I need to celebrate Lauren, he says. So if shes happy, I will celebrate that the best I can.

And after reading that i realized that's how I want to be as well. I don't want to only think of what i want and need. I realized that if i love him the way i say i do then i must be okay and happy for him NO MATTER WHAT. And i am.
That doesn't mean that at times i don't get twinges of sadness or wishing things were different, but i had to think about the fact that he is on a journey as well. And if that journey ends up with him and i being reunited then great! if not then it doesn't. I've already done everything i can do - i can't do anymore.
And neither can you. You have already shown your ex how you feel, you have contacted him so he knows you are open to talking. There is nothing more you can do at this point. 


I know I loved how he made me feel. it all started when he was moving abroad, i went to a farewell our colleagues held for him, we didn't really talk before, we were still strangers, and all i wanted to do is make sure he's okay there. I never knew why I cared or why i felt that way about a stranger.
after we started talking i found out he had a thing for me right from the moment we met at his farewell. he's the "perfect boyfriend", he does everything right, says all the right things... So, sometimes it feels like i have this hole in me, this emptiness because of all the love i can no longer find..
sometimes I feel i just want to be a part of his life, then i start doubting that maybe i only miss how he always tried to be there in my daily routine...

I know what you mean .. loving a person without wanting anything from them in return .. I don't really know how i feel about him now..

btw. I wasn't able to write that here.. but I contacted him again .. we had a bad, very bad fight.. it was really bad :D ... so now, I really CANNOT contact him again... the only thing he didn't do is block me! **which he said he might do btw**.. there were really hurtful words.. and I want to forgive him for how he treated me after the breakup.. but I don't know if a person who loved another person would say all those hurtful stuff?! is that even possible?!


also,, would you please sendd me the article?

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #33 on: August 16, 2017, 02:32:43 AM »
YYS, didn't have time to respond to DM yet.... erase that message and go read the one I bumped by Imagination King, RE read Superman's 30 days and rules. Don't read negative nor write it, that is no longer your story and putting the vibes of it out there will keep that energy going. Get that off here, and change your thoughts, change your world. You don't want the hurt, or him upset or that energy still going on.... Do it now. Will DM later, at work and well communicating with a special someone....hehe see the good energy... . Dwell on that... Love to you.

Offline suspicious_mind

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #34 on: August 16, 2017, 10:51:29 PM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.

shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.




I know you weren't replying to me but i have to jump in here and tell you the truth. No. You only felt positive because you talked to him, it wasn't good. You shouldn't have contacted him. At all. It sounds like he was annoyed and if you continue to message him he will eventually block you. You are killing every chance you may have in the future of him wanting you back. By contacting him you looked desperate and foolish. I'm sorry to be so blunt but like i said i have been there - i was sad just like you are now...I KNOW ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you have got to stop talking to him - don't contact him ever again. EVER. If you do you may as well just say good bye forever. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want you to continue to kill every chance you have. But that is what you are doing. Like i said its harddddddddd but you have GOT to stop. Now. Today.
Make a pledge to yourself that you will never contact him again. Start new, start fresh. The past is the past - you are allowed one last slip up and you made it  - but move on from it and start again.



No No dont be sorry!! I love honesty!! I appreciate what you said!
Tell me how do you deal with the feeling of missing the person. i dont really like how attached I am, and this whole breakup really triggered my abandonment issues!

I need help dealing with missing the person. since the moment i miss him, right afterwards I feel like he's gone for good!

and.. Someone today approached. a really nice guy. and as much as nice it was, i kept thinking why wasn't it my ex. I want to stop believing that there is no one better than him! because It feels like the world isn't abundant!



Honestly you may never fully stop missing him if you truly love/loved him. I still miss my ex now and then. But you know what helped me? It sounds so weird that this ONE article and soundbite helped me heal and move on from all my obsessive feelings.....but you know that Ben Higgins guy from the Bachelor? There was this article about him finding out his ex had a new bf and it went like this...

Overwhelmed, I decided to go for a run, he recalls exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. I was praying the whole time like, God, please release some anxiety. His request was granted. I stopped and thought, if Im the man I claim I want to be, then I need to celebrate Lauren, he says. So if shes happy, I will celebrate that the best I can.

And after reading that i realized that's how I want to be as well. I don't want to only think of what i want and need. I realized that if i love him the way i say i do then i must be okay and happy for him NO MATTER WHAT. And i am.
That doesn't mean that at times i don't get twinges of sadness or wishing things were different, but i had to think about the fact that he is on a journey as well. And if that journey ends up with him and i being reunited then great! if not then it doesn't. I've already done everything i can do - i can't do anymore.
And neither can you. You have already shown your ex how you feel, you have contacted him so he knows you are open to talking. There is nothing more you can do at this point. 



I know I loved how he made me feel. it all started when he was moving abroad, i went to a farewell our colleagues held for him, we didn't really talk before, we were still strangers, and all i wanted to do is make sure he's okay there. I never knew why I cared or why i felt that way about a stranger.
after we started talking i found out he had a thing for me right from the moment we met at his farewell. he's the "perfect boyfriend", he does everything right, says all the right things... So, sometimes it feels like i have this hole in me, this emptiness because of all the love i can no longer find..
sometimes I feel i just want to be a part of his life, then i start doubting that maybe i only miss how he always tried to be there in my daily routine...

I know what you mean .. loving a person without wanting anything from them in return .. I don't really know how i feel about him now..

btw. I wasn't able to write that here.. but I contacted him again .. we had a bad, very bad fight.. it was really bad :D ... so now, I really CANNOT contact him again... the only thing he didn't do is block me! **which he said he might do btw**.. there were really hurtful words.. and I want to forgive him for how he treated me after the breakup.. but I don't know if a person who loved another person would say all those hurtful stuff?! is that even possible?!


also,, would you please sendd me the article?



I told ya it would be a reallllllly bad idea to contact him again didn't I? Now you know why i told you that......

Sure here is the article - he had it on his twitter page.  http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/is-ben-higgins-ready-to-date-after-lauren-bushnell-split-w496853

Yes of course you love him, you may always love him, but....i think that is the problem with us girls - we feel EVERYTHING and sometimes feel we are the only ones who do. I'm sure your ex is hurting too, in his own unique way. But every time you contact him he cares less and less. You aren't giving him a chance to miss you. You need to do it. I don't know how many other ways I can tell you that. And yeah when people are mad they say things they don't mean all the time - but if you keep contacting him you aren't respecting his decisions and that is making him mean the things he says. Think back to when you told someone/anyone to stop contacting you. If they did it anyway you would be mad right? You wouldn't like them anymore right? They would make you so mad that they weren't listening to you, you would never want to hear from them again right? Well.....that's what is going on here between you and him.
If you love him as you say you need to think about him and respect what he wants. And right now its to not hear from you.

And think about what he said - - - if it was really bad and he was being really disrespectful, rude and being a total jerk (for lack of a more colorful word on here....lol) then you don't need him anyway. Be glad he is gone. He doesn't deserve you.

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #35 on: Today at 12:50:51 AM »
Well.. I'm really embarrased :/.. do u have an idea how to overcome that sense of shame? :D I mean.. why would he re-want someone who went that crazy :/

Offline AngelusofftheSea

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #36 on: Today at 01:51:06 AM »
I am no longer following this topic after this post. Will tell you YYS, you are attracting negative thoughts, energy and help. Either turn this around now, or continue your path. It is your life, your journey and lessons. Change your thoughts, change your world.

If something is not working change it. If there are qualities in you and him you don't like work on yours, and see respect and love, as well as great qualities and relationships for you. See the end result. Run your mind or let someone else. Likes attract likes. Stop the negative and get on a positive track.

Before you take advice look within, see your power, read, learn and above all if taking advice see if the person resonates with you. If it is negative nature, you need to up your vibes. Psychology, looking within, being 100% responsible, your inner is your outer all matter. Remember you have power, use it or well....

ETA: Please re read Alex's good advice to you and on this board things that resonate of a positive nature. Don't try do it for you. I can already see you let others dominate you at times, DON'T do that. Find self love, self respect, compassion for yourself. Many of us have had to learn that. Master self love and all will be solved soon.

Blessings
« Last Edit: Today at 02:04:33 AM by AngelusofftheSea »

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