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Author Topic: Getting ex back -- help :(  (Read 690 times)

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Offline Tigerlilly

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2017, 04:40:08 PM »
I feel you, I really do :D My boy also said to me, that I just have to accept it etc. It sounds a lot like my situation, that he was just really confused about his feelings and telling various reasons. But I know how you feel, that a person you liked that much doesn't want to be with you anymore, it is so hard! But somehow I know in my heart that he is the person I want to be with and you can't get someone back by crying them to come back (I argued with him and he said: you are trying to convince me to stay)
So in the end we really have nothing to lose to try it this way :) aaand the pattern in all the sucess storys is, that the person who dumped said really bad things like, I don't want a relationship, I don't want you, even I hate you but somehow they were still able to change it
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 04:45:12 PM by Tigerlilly »

Offline suspicious_mind

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2017, 10:45:59 PM »
I'm really grateful for your replies guys! I'm very Thankful ! :)



Take it from someone who has been there and has done what you did. Just stop there. You already sent him an apology letter, and that is really good you did that, most likely. It shows him you are taking responsibility for your part in the demise. Now just wait. I know its HARD to do, but you have to do it. Don't contact him again. Ever. For any reason. Let him think on what you wrote and figure it out for himself. Work on you and be happy and post happy things that have nothing to do with him. Let him see you are FINE even if you aren't yet.
If you contact him again he might start to think your letter wasn't a genuine apology and only a plea to reconnect with him at any cost. Let it go for a bit. Do your affirmations. LOA. PRAY.
Let your ex take control over the situation now. You have done all you can do. And you have done well.


I don't know what to think.. an hour ago i got rid of everything he got me because I wanna really get over him. but your success stories give me hope every time I let go.

Also,
I removed him from FB, he cant see things I'm doing .. so .. how will he know I;m doing good?
and will he read my apology letter? I used to spam his phone before...

you said you've been there.. will you tell me please what happened with you? :$

Sure i will! Well after me and my ex broke up mutually at the time...lol....once i realized it wasn't so mutual on my part and i wanted him back like immediately, i started doing all you are doing. I think all of us make this mistake at one time or another. I wrote him three apology letters, two of which i was talking about being sorry for things that werent even my fault. lol I stalked him online, talked to his brother, etc. I did it all. It was sad. I just kept thinking 'if only i did THIS or THAT he would understand how sorry i am and how things could be different this time around'.....and i realized much later that all i was doing at the time was pushing him farther away.
Because i hadn't ever been obsessive or like that at all during our relationship. Ever. But losing him pushed it to another level. And i regret to this day showing him how much i needed him.
It was only after a few years down the road he contacted me out of the blue. Of course by then i had moved on totally and was really indifferent to the whole conversation and didn't really care as much. But that was the key -- i let go. I was back to my 'old self' that i was when we were together. I was happy, positive and didn't let him hold my happiness in his hands.

Yes he will/I'm sure already has read your letter. How do i know this? Because one of those apology letters i was talking about above, didn't get a response and i thought he had probably not read it at all and just deleted it. And another one - the response i got was 'leave me alone'. Which again showed me that he had not read it and was sending me a clear message.
Again i will stress later on he contacted me and we discussed those letters and he said he read each of them in their entirety.
Don't add him on facebook again - in my opinion you should just make yourself un-private so he can see if he wants and see how 'happy' and 'positive' you are now. Not like the break up didn't affect you and you never cared, not like that, but like a life goes on, in a sense. Like pictures of you going out with friends and having a blast, talking about going to the gym, taking long walks, going to a spa on your own to clear your head, things like that. But don't talk about guys to try to make him jealous. That will backfire.


It takes a fair amount of mental discipline to be effective at step 1 stage but it's important to set the correct foundations, so it must not be skipped past. Although it takes mental discipline, it is still relatively simple to do.
Why do you feel the need to hate him to get over him??
Just let it go. Let go of controlling what has already happened. If you cannot stop reliving your past memories then change your memory in your mind of what happened to something much more positive and relive this new memory until it becomes written and stored in your sub con mind as what actually happened.
Instead of convincing yourself that you have to get mad at him so that you get the upper hand so that you can get over him.... get over yourself!!!
Trying to get the upper hand and having the last say is only a way of defending yourself from your own insecurities, much like jealousy is. Rise above your insecurities.

Step 3 - You do this in accordance to your desire, whether that is with him or without him, that's your choice as it's your desire. If your desire is with him, then visualise your life with him there and live your life like this. Pay no attention to what your eyes and ears are telling you and live as much as you can in your ideal, visualised, end result creation. Live in the end result and do not focus on the how's, when's and where's of how it will happen.

When the first 2 steps are completed to the full, step 3 becomes easier to do because you are no longer emotionally attached as much to the outcome and therefore you drop all of your resistance to creating it and you lose all your impatience because you are now enjoying your life and freedom too (as experienced from step 2)  :D


I wish you would make your own thread about how you manifested things you wanted - you give some terrific advice!!!!

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2017, 12:14:16 AM »
Wow!! Amazing story!!
Never thought they read anything haha

Where do you think about Supermans experiement
Wanna try it but I'm afraid of those 30 days will make me more attached to him! What do u think?

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2017, 12:16:04 AM »
I feel you, I really do :D My boy also said to me, that I just have to accept it etc. It sounds a lot like my situation, that he was just really confused about his feelings and telling various reasons. But I know how you feel, that a person you liked that much doesn't want to be with you anymore, it is so hard! But somehow I know in my heart that he is the person I want to be with and you can't get someone back by crying them to come back (I argued with him and he said: you are trying to convince me to stay)
So in the end we really have nothing to lose to try it this way :) aaand the pattern in all the sucess storys is, that the person who dumped said really bad things like, I don't want a relationship, I don't want you, even I hate you but somehow they were still able to change it

Yeah!! I've heard some pretty bad stuff too :D


Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2017, 12:17:03 AM »
It takes a fair amount of mental discipline to be effective at step 1 stage but it's important to set the correct foundations, so it must not be skipped past. Although it takes mental discipline, it is still relatively simple to do.
Why do you feel the need to hate him to get over him??
Just let it go. Let go of controlling what has already happened. If you cannot stop reliving your past memories then change your memory in your mind of what happened to something much more positive and relive this new memory until it becomes written and stored in your sub con mind as what actually happened.
Instead of convincing yourself that you have to get mad at him so that you get the upper hand so that you can get over him.... get over yourself!!!
Trying to get the upper hand and having the last say is only a way of defending yourself from your own insecurities, much like jealousy is. Rise above your insecurities.

Step 3 - You do this in accordance to your desire, whether that is with him or without him, that's your choice as it's your desire. If your desire is with him, then visualise your life with him there and live your life like this. Pay no attention to what your eyes and ears are telling you and live as much as you can in your ideal, visualised, end result creation. Live in the end result and do not focus on the how's, when's and where's of how it will happen.

When the first 2 steps are completed to the full, step 3 becomes easier to do because you are no longer emotionally attached as much to the outcome and therefore you drop all of your resistance to creating it and you lose all your impatience because you are now enjoying your life and freedom too (as experienced from step 2)  :D

Haha
I love the "get over yourself" part. I love it when someone points out what i'm doing wrong!!
Thank you!!

Offline Coffee098

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #20 on: August 11, 2017, 03:14:30 AM »
NC will still work but you have to let go of him and show him you've moved on and let go. Maybe send a positive message saying you appreciate all the good times but you are now letting go. And then LEAVE HIM for 30 days or so. See what happens. Within this time your focus is YOU and being POSITIVE.


Thank you for the reply!! <3
I wanna ask.. how would he know i'm doing good and have move on if I sent him the above.. and if he's not on my social media accounts :/

LOA is supposed to work even when that person is not near you, they pick up on your energy. Also he will find out some way or another whether it's through mutual friends/ a little whatsapp picture/ that little Instagram picture etc! There will be a way!
I couldn't bear my break up for months and the thing which got me through was putting my self first always!! Treat yourself and make yourself happy again. I haven't got my ex back, I spent months grieving him and not thinking positively enough. Now that I've let go of all of the negatives I feel love towards him and I send him love and forgiveness by LoA, he now responds to my messages which he never did before. They pick up on your energy (and also sometimes come across your social media).

Offline PoWerLOA

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #21 on: August 11, 2017, 02:43:09 PM »
Step 1 - forget the past! Don't think it. Don't relive it. Just forget it and let it go.

Step 2 - treat yourself well. Go out. Have fun. Be positive.

Step 3 - have faith and certainty that from this moment on that you create what happens next in your future. Reading success stories will help build your faith and belief in this.

Step 3: do i do that without him in mind? i just keep faith that I will attract him as if he's someone I'm meeting for the first time?
Step 1: I can let go in two ways:
1- Grieve the loss, get mad at him .... etc till i get over the whole thing. but that may ruin my chances of liking him ever again.
2- Let go of the whole thing on hopes that I will do step 3 to attract that awesome guy I will pretend I haven't met yet :D
is that even healthy? it sounds Crazy! haha

This is indeed the step-by-step process, from letting go to moving on. Kudos!!

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #22 on: August 12, 2017, 08:20:40 PM »
**Clears throat**
I did something. In my defense, I had a dream of him contacting me.. I woke up, made a prayer to god and asked him to let me contact him if it's good for me and not to let me if it's not. Afterwards I watched something that convinced me that I won't contact him then I fell asleep.

I woke up convinced to contact him. sent him a message asking if he still doesn't want to speak a word to me and told him that I won't talk about anything from the past. he saw it and didnt reply. then I told him to let his guards down, We tried sth, it failed and i'm okay with that. I just want us to be okay with each other and be able to talk to him like I can talk to any other person.
he saw it and didnt reply. I asked him "what are you thinking about ? :D ".. he told me "I swear I'm hiking and it's a saturday" then "I don't want to talk now at all".. I told him  I didn't know that. How would I know when it's good to talk to you"
"then I told him to enjoy his hike and get back to me regarding what I was saying"
he said " ok I will " then I told him thank you, laughed and told him may you hit something for the hard time you're giving me and laughed.. he laughed and told me I did nothing at all i swear.. I told him " yeah right" in a sarcastic way..


honestly I felt somehow hopeful when he laughed and told me i did nothing.. I felt hope when he joked or allowed me to make a joke.

I worry of course sometimes.. but don't you think this is a good sign.. I felt good the moment it happened.

I love you guys!
I have someone to talk to! haha

Online YYS

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #23 on: August 12, 2017, 08:34:13 PM »
Also I keep telling him i just want us to talk since I really want us to start all over. right from the moment we met.
I believe that's what we need, and go slower than we did.

Adding something to what happened. before he told me that he will get back to me, he just saw the msg and went silent, I was typing so he wrote that so I stopped typing.


I really hope he start appreciating how I'm at ease with how hard he's making things. I really hope he's now calmer so that he appreciates it instead of getting angry at me for not letting go of us!

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2017, 08:54:09 PM »
How do I keep the positive feelings I had at that moment?
I'm starting to have negative thoughts/feelings about what's going to happen

Any advice?

Offline Alexbally

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2017, 08:57:01 PM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2017, 09:02:08 PM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.
shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.

Offline Alexbally

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2017, 09:32:05 PM »
Focus on the feeling only, not the event that delivered the feeling.

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Offline suspicious_mind

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #28 on: August 13, 2017, 01:32:58 AM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.
shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.



I know you weren't replying to me but i have to jump in here and tell you the truth. No. You only felt positive because you talked to him, it wasn't good. You shouldn't have contacted him. At all. It sounds like he was annoyed and if you continue to message him he will eventually block you. You are killing every chance you may have in the future of him wanting you back. By contacting him you looked desperate and foolish. I'm sorry to be so blunt but like i said i have been there - i was sad just like you are now...I KNOW ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you have got to stop talking to him - don't contact him ever again. EVER. If you do you may as well just say good bye forever. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want you to continue to kill every chance you have. But that is what you are doing. Like i said its harddddddddd but you have GOT to stop. Now. Today.
Make a pledge to yourself that you will never contact him again. Start new, start fresh. The past is the past - you are allowed one last slip up and you made it  - but move on from it and start again.

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Re: Getting ex back -- help :(
« Reply #29 on: August 13, 2017, 02:38:37 AM »
Forget it happened. Nothing happened.
Stop focusing on it and focus on something else.
shouldn't I focus on the positive feelings I had when we joked? I felt he was calmer.



I know you weren't replying to me but i have to jump in here and tell you the truth. No. You only felt positive because you talked to him, it wasn't good. You shouldn't have contacted him. At all. It sounds like he was annoyed and if you continue to message him he will eventually block you. You are killing every chance you may have in the future of him wanting you back. By contacting him you looked desperate and foolish. I'm sorry to be so blunt but like i said i have been there - i was sad just like you are now...I KNOW ITS HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you have got to stop talking to him - don't contact him ever again. EVER. If you do you may as well just say good bye forever. I'm just telling you the truth. I don't want you to continue to kill every chance you have. But that is what you are doing. Like i said its harddddddddd but you have GOT to stop. Now. Today.
Make a pledge to yourself that you will never contact him again. Start new, start fresh. The past is the past - you are allowed one last slip up and you made it  - but move on from it and start again.


No No dont be sorry!! I love honesty!! I appreciate what you said!
Tell me how do you deal with the feeling of missing the person. i dont really like how attached I am, and this whole breakup really triggered my abandonment issues!

I need help dealing with missing the person. since the moment i miss him, right afterwards I feel like he's gone for good!

and.. Someone today approached. a really nice guy. and as much as nice it was, i kept thinking why wasn't it my ex. I want to stop believing that there is no one better than him! because It feels like the world isn't abundant!

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