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Author Topic: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU  (Read 2356 times)

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Offline MoeenAM

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PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« on: July 07, 2017, 06:47:50 AM »
Hey, I want to know a few things on how to fix my life. Before anyone says the "focus on what you want and stop focusing on what you don't want." Please just hear me out.


I'm 22 years old. I have a mom who back in December of 2015 was diagnosed with ALS. Now it's July 2017 and the disease has progressed and she's completely helpless. I have to be with her 24/7 and she's constantly calling me for help and constantly crying and my life just feels hopeless. I can't do anything like go hang out with friends or anything because she panics because I'm the only able bodied person in my house who can pick her up quickly if she needs to move or eat etc. I have a sister who doesn't want to put my mom in a nursing home I know it sounds like I do but I really don't because my sister and I both worked in the nursing homes in the area and there's no way we're putting out mom in a facility like that. Now they have home health aids but they ALWAYS send some small woman who can't pick up my mom or attend to her needs because they aren't fit for the job we've contacted the agency so much times that we've given up so I literally have my life on hold to take care of her. I feel like
I'm going crazy and I want to pull my hair out because I get no help, no time for myself and she doesn't stop asking for things. I know she can't help it but I'm human I need time for myself as well.

My main question is how can I practice the law of attraction if my mind is so negative and it's hard for me to be grateful for my current situation. I have no privacy, no time to myself so I can meditate or visualize because I'm always interrupted. So what can I do? When I mean I take care of her 24/7 I literally do. Wake up at 7AM for breakfast then it takes about an hour to clean her up and then she needs to use the bathroom and that can take another hour or more including clean up time. So we're already at  10AM then after that I have to cook her lunch and it takes time because it needs to be puréed so she can swallow it and by 12 she wants lunch then after that she needs medicine and uses the bathroom again so after all that's done I need to start cooking her dinner and before that she wants a snack like an ensure drink or something. Then when dinner time comes she wants me to type out what she has to say because she can't talk so I literally say ABC all the way to Z to spell out words to truly understand what she's saying, so basically we don't finish with her till 8PM at night then after that she constantly wants us to fix her pillow and other things. So I don't know when I can get any time for myself. PLEASE HELP!



Offline Stone

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2017, 09:36:30 AM »
I'm sorry to hear about your hard situation. I hope it will be fine soon.
Can you have 15 minutes at night when your mom falls asleep. It's not necessary you do hours of visualisation. Just 5-15 min give for visualisation or record affirmations in your own voice & listen them while doing your work. There's always a solution.
« Last Edit: July 07, 2017, 09:41:27 AM by Stone »

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Offline MoeenAM

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2017, 05:52:12 PM »
I will definitely try this, what affirmations should I say?

Offline Agnes1986

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2017, 07:05:03 PM »
My advice would be to get a nice nursing home (since you know them, maybe not all of them are bad). Maybe you can take 15 minutes a day to visualize finding a place that you like for your mom.
What you are doing is really nice of you and loving, but it'll wear you out, and you will lose yourself into this. It happened with my grandfather, we wanted to take care of him, but he was really sick. In the end, we did find a nursing home for him, and he really liked it, he lived the last 3 years of his life there.
Best of lucks, and I really hope things work out for you.

Offline -MEDUSA-

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2017, 04:09:45 AM »
When I was a teenager I was the primary care taker for my grandma she had Alzheimer's Disease and I understand what your going through not having time to do anything. My family didn't help because they didn't want anything to deal with it and when they were around they would break down emotionally where I had to take care of them too because they would do stupid things. In my culture nursing home was never a option for us. I eventually grew resentful to everyone and everything the situation broke me down.

I'm a daydream I'd always daydream doing anything else but being stuck in my situation. Even when I was taking care of my grandma I kept daydreaming. I know that you said in your first sentence you don't want to someone telling you to focus on something you want and stop focusing on what you don't want. I didn't know what LOA was when I was a teenager but I kept focusing on doing what I wanted to do the most. I started getting breaks from taking care of my grandma to do what I want. I still was a primary care taker but the breaks I've gotten was what I needed.

LOA or no LOA you need to have breaks away from the whole situation it seriously a MUST! When my grandma got worse and when I stopped daydreaming I lost myself. She passed away when I was 20 it took its toll on me I felt like I wasn't good enough that I should of took care of her better and I hated myself. I lefted my family because I felt I wasn't good enough anymore.

ITS SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE SELF HEALING. PLEASE DON'T NEGLECT THIS.

I was running away from my problems but if you carry it LOA will bring it all back to you no matter where you go. In a new town I met a girl just like me her grandma died of Alzheimer's Disease she witnessed all what I had to go through. She was running away from her problems too. All my fears she through at my face she telling me everything I felt because she was the same. She was on a path of destruction and wanted suicide more than anything. I didn't follow her path I didn't want it but it helped me be at peace with my grandma to see the difference in us coming from the same situation that I'm not like her made me realize this could of been me. There was always hope in me and I wasn't lost anymore.

I did come back to my family and we get along better now than before. I'm 23 now took me awhile to self heal I'll admit but I can't express it enough that its important and self love.

Yeah its a long post but I'm sharing it for everyone to read even for the ones who don't have a account here. Whose going through the same or know someone going through this. Some people don't come back from this like the girl I met.

Love yourself always even if you think you're not good enough Love Unconditionally its the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself and others.

Offline AngelWings

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2017, 12:33:52 AM »
I have a different thought process. Try Ho'oponopono ( I love you, I am sorry, Please forgive me, thank you) to all involved everyday. To the ALS situation. To lack of privacy. To feeling imprisoned. The disease is imprisoning your mom. There are natural cures to this. Ask her to see her self healed. You and your sister see her healed. See her healthy and wanting to take care of herself and you all.

See more friends and ppl helping in mean time. See some free time. Find a hobby or something you love and start to see time for it. Money coming in for help.

See a beautiful life and start to be grateful for your Mom, sister, family and family life. See the freedom, abundance, love and gratitude you all have. See more friends in your life, loving you, taking time with you. More fun things. Read Neville and see the end of what you want. A beautiful home, paid for, with a loving family and ppl helping your Mom or her healed and loving freedom and life.

View freedom and love, not the prison walls of lack in your home, disease and Mom. Otherwise you will continue to need friends, time, money freedom. See freedom, love, abundance and time. 

Offline PeggyRO

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2017, 05:49:43 AM »
Dear MoeenAM,

You are right it is not easy to apply /practice the Law of Attraction's principles when it is tough stay positive.
This may sound like a cliche and you may not see this now, but everything happens for a reason. And in time the reason will be revealed, this is how the universe works. Maybe this makes you a stronger person, maybe this is preparing you for better, etc.
I am always telling people that you always can find something good in something not so good.
Good is that you are an incredible human being, good is that your heart is in the right place, good is that your Mom has a daughter like you, good is able taking care of your mother, good is that she have you, good is that you don't have to do it alone, good is that you can ask for help, good is that you have your Mom, good is that one day you will look back and be proud of yourself and your Mom.
Have you ever thought about what your Mom may be feeling? I don't think that she ever wanted this; she had no saying in this. I am sure she is very grateful for you and loves you very much, even she may not be able to express it.

First you need to ask for help, so you can have some quality time for yourself. Have you thought of contacting the ALS organization? If you want I can bring you in contact with a friend of mine whos Mom had ALS. She is very involved in the ALS organization here in Orange County/ LA County in California.
Second, start a journal. I am advising everyone, friends, family, clients to write. Your journal is your best friend and it can keep a secret. You can also start writing down 5 things you are grateful for. It is amazing what you can come up with.
Having traveled to countries like India, South Africa, and Indonesia...I am grateful for a lot of things, things we take for granted, like water, underwear, food, clean sheets, etc.
There are always people that are in worse shape than you unfortunately, but it may put things in perspective.
Third, reach out to friends and family. Do you have a support group? Friends or family you can talk to and are able to support you.

If you want to vent/ talk you know where you can find me.

With love,
Peggy

Offline BabyCakes12345

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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2017, 03:55:13 AM »
.

« Last Edit: November 20, 2017, 06:12:54 AM by HiCrunchy »

Offline nikhil

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2017, 09:47:54 AM »
Really nice information you shared.

Offline Anna1408

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2017, 07:33:14 PM »
I didn't read this post when it first came out, but I really do sympathise. My guy's mom had advanced stage alzheimers and he and i were basically in the same situation as you until 2 months ago, when she finally passed away.

We didn't want to put my guy's mom in a home either, but finally we arranged for someone to come to the house for a bit of home help. We never got it in the end, because she died before it had all been legally arranged, but really, try to find out if that kind of help is available in your country, and if so, ask your doctor to help you arrange it. That way you can stil keep her at home, but it can release a bit of time for you to have for yourself.

One way my guy and I coped with it was to share some of the care work between us. For example, I washed her and changed her (she was unable to walk). I prepared the food and pureed it, then I put it in a food thermos, ready for the rest of the day, so that i wouldn't have to keep repeating the process all day. I was careful to make sure it was all balanced. My guy fed her, gave her water through a syringe (she couldn't drink on her own) and gave her medication.  It was terribly demanding still, but we found that with a bit of planning and sharing of the tasks, we were able to arrange things so that we both had at least some free time. SO maybe your sister can do some of the tasks and you others?
« Last Edit: November 18, 2017, 07:35:35 PM by Anna1408 »

Offline Wellnesskitty

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Re: PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING YOU
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2018, 07:45:38 PM »
Wow, your story is really sad, and I really feel for you. That's a very tough situation to be in. I don't know if I would be as strong as you are if I was put in that situation. I understand that your can feel frustrated and powerless sometimes. Its so great that you are reaching out and asking for help. This is literally the best thing to do for you and your mom.

I don't really have any practical solutions or immediately solutions for your situation. If you are not willing to put your mother in a care home, can you at least get some help for one day of the week, or a couple of hours a day just too give yourself a break? It's important to practice self-care too. Don't neglect yourself and let your physical and mental health suffer. You won't be able to help your mother if you get sick too!

Have you tried meditation? I know you don't really have time to sit down for long periods of time but you can start by dedicating small factions of the day to just taking deep breaths with your eyes closed and visualising yourself in a 'happy place'. Also you can get some meditation audio or video to play in the background while you are feeding your mother. This way she might benefit from seeing and hearing positive words too. If you want to check out the medication course I'm using, I can direct you to it. Let me know. Check it out for yourself and you can decide if this is something that will work for you. I've been watching and listening to these for about a month and I find that I look at life's many setbacks from a completely different light. Now obviously my life situations are different from yours, and I'm not facing as tough a situation as you so I can't say that this would definitely help you. But I really hope that it does.

Best of luck with everything and please don't hesitate to ask questions or just to vent a bit and let some steam out I'll be here to listen even if I won't always have any answers.

Lots of love to you and your mother.

Kitty

 

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