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Author Topic: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too  (Read 3028 times)

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Offline MrMaverick

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #15 on: February 11, 2016, 10:56:06 PM »
I'm just so fucking annoyed with myself. Why there has to be this "I want this" and "I want that" bullshit? I've had experiences where I was not specific at all and I got exactly what I wanted.

The thing, and I've said it over and over again in the past - We don't know what we don't know! The stuff like "how", "what", "when", "where" etc are all coming from achiever mindset. Fuck that. I don't want to achieve anything.

In fact, the deeper I look into my own psyche, the better I understand how scared I am. We need answers to these questions of "how", "when", "where", "which" because we want certainty. We want to know before hand how the future is gonna unfold. Wouldn't it be awesome if we knew exactly what is going to happen in next hour, next day, next week, next month, next year right now?
FUCK NO!

There is another way to understand the same thing, just in different word. The real reason we crave this illusion of certainty and safety and security is that we are scared. We are scared of uncertainty. We are scared of letting go of what we think we are.

In fact, it's that tricky bastard called ego. It wants you to stay the same. No matter what you do, it is ought to come up with some stupid bullshit. Even if you wake up tomorrow and start walking on water and give Jesus a run for his money. The ego is gonna say that you walk on water just to cover up the fact that you can't swim. In short, you suck!

I love uncertainty. I love not knowing what's gonna happen next. I love not knowing where this post is gonna end up. I love not knowing whether this post will bring any kinda value to anyone who reads it. If it does, well! Awesome.. If it doesn't, fucking awesome. I don't give a shit.

I want to quit all this bullshit and do something I am passionate about. But then again, there comes this uncertainty and everything becomes scary all of a sudden. It's not that "I" am scared, it's just that I care a little too much about what others think of me. Yes, I confess that. That's why I like to walk around like nothings bothering me even though half the time I am trying to manage my "impression". lol.

I have stopped "forcing" myself to act. And every time I notice I am forcing myself to make an impression. I hold back. And then the ego battle begins in my head. My ego wants me to say certain things and do things certain way and socialize only with certain people but I have learned to enjoy the battle in my head and be a spectator. It is fucking funny. If you could see inside what kinda bullshit goes on in your own head as a third person, nearly all the problems of your life would disappear. haha.

But it is kinda relief to not force yourself to be a certain way and still being okay with whatever outcome you experience. We want to hold onto our non existent image so bad that we never let our real self come through.

Similar experience was something that happened to me yesterday. My cousin brother who is 2 years younger than me is getting married. And it is kinda "loss of credibility" in terms of my parents that the younger cousin getting married before their son! God! I love India! Jai Hind! I heard a few rumors floating around the fact that I don't want to get married yet. One of the rumors is that I am impotent! Geez! I had a great laugh! ahahahaha!

10 years back when I used to ride everywhere on a bicycle, the cousin who is getting married got a kickass motor cycle! Why does noone blamed my parent for not getting their son a motor cycle before his younger cousin got it? ahaha!

Anyway! What's pain in the ass is explaining why I don't want to get married. And you know whats more difficult? Coming up with "logical" reasons to explain these people why! The fact is, I am not "ready" to get married. I don't see "why" I should get married. I don't see what purpose this so called marriage is gonna serve. And I don't see why it makes me a bad person if I don't want ONE person to be EVERYTHING to me. Especially someone who I don't even know! And you know what? I love not knowing that! haha

Okay, so where did this topic of marriage come into picture? Fuck that, who gives a fuck? Did I type all that damn thing just to go back and delete? Let it be there!

Sometimes I really wonder how amazing we are when it comes to linking topics to one another. The society teaches us to link only the fearful things with everything. Not about great things with everything.
One of the reasons we are so scared all the time about everything is that fucking News! Yes, it's our fault as well, that we are pussies, but why not just blame something on the external and not be responsible to anything? Wow! Sounds great to me. So yeah! Fuck news!

But seriously, do you ever watch the news and see over the top negative shit? It's always the negative shit that they seem to be raving about. Some murder, some story of corruption, some scam etc.

Some kid ate some street food and he had a food poisoning. And all the seem to talk about how bad the food is and how bad the government is and how bad everything is. Then there are debates going on news channels about "whether we ban all the street food" etc. So we are scared of ingesting poison on the street.

But millions of people do eat street food everyday. And not everyone gets poisoned! If news channels start broadcasting about every person who ate street food and didn't get food poisoning?
Can you imagine them cutting out whatever is going on the TV and show you every person who is eating street food and going home safe? Would you really be scared of eating outside? Fuck no!

It's the constant conditioning of your mind to fear and it teaches you to avoid uncertainty like plague! Which I hate. So I've stopped watching news and reading news paper. I just want to focus on becoming the best and happiest person I can be. I have no more desire of "changing the world". That shit feels a little too laborious. Getting over my own bad habits seemed a little too thrilling for me... In any case .... Fuck the world and be awesome! ;D

Offline MrMaverick

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2016, 03:48:59 PM »
The villain of the movie... Conscious mind.

Don't we all just hate all the logic and consciousness and the fact that the conscious mind keeps on pointing out all the undesirable shit all the time?

Don't we all just love subconscious mind for it is the store house of infinite wisdom and holds answers to all there is to it?

Subconscious mind is the king! Or so we like to or want to believe.

Now that I've embarked already on the journey of being a culture hacker I've began to question EVERYTHING. And the more I question, the more I realize how full of shit I am! Whenever there is a problem in my life or I see someone else experience some problems or issues, I immediately go about thinking "well! Great! It's awesome that I know the LoA and power of subconscious mind and that I can get rid of all this crap should it happen to me".

It is a nice feeling to be in a state of mind where you realize that you have a power and that you can, in fact, "control" the events and circumstances. ;D Feels like a fucking BOSS 8)

I realized that I was only questioning the things that do not "please me". I realized that the point of questioning shit is to seek truth. So then and there began the questioning on my beliefs about conscious and subconscious mind. And I am glad to realize, once again, that I was full of shit in that department too. ;D

If the subconscious mind is all powerful thing there is, then why it does not posses the sense of right or wrong, or of well being and ill being of humanity, animal kingdom, plant kingdom, the non living inanimate objects and things, this planet?

What if the subconscious mind is just overrated asshole for it's idea promises me (or gives me an illusion) of having power?
What if the conscious mind is not as evil as we make it come across?

What if the conscious mind and consciousness is how the subconscious derives it's motivations?

Yes, all the great teachers have said that the conscious mind is a tool to influence the subconscious mind. You do that with "repetition" of your desired thought.

Then again the question arises, what if what I think I want "consciously" or "logically" ain't the right thing for me?
Well, then the answer comes up as "if you want something and you feel good about it, that's the right thing for you. If it feels bad, it ain't a right thing for you".

But then again the question arises, "what if I am just in revenge mood and want to fuck someone over some stupid shit like he said something offensive or she did something offensive. It'd really feel orgasmic good to fuck them over in some way!".

So clearly those feelings aren't coming from the place of love so the fact that using feelings to make "decisions" or "setting intentions" is not what the divine intelligence would approve of.

We, as humans, are more about "problem solving" than creating new things. Anything we don't like, we have the urge to fix it.

What we don't realize is, any time we see a problem WE ARE THE PART OF THE PROBLEM.

Those of you who truly believe in the ideas like "You create your reality" would find it easy to relate to.
Terrorists attack some place, you are a part of the problem and you are responsible for that happening.
Why? It's in your experience! You have not funded the ISIS or helped brainwash those who attacked.
They attacked but they didn't harm you and there was nothing that you've contributed to that thing in the physical world stand point. But the fact that you have it in your experience goes on to prove that you contributed in it's manifestation energetically.
You've been holding onto the ideas like there is evil in the world, world ain't a safe place blah blah blah. You held on to it for too long and now that idea has manifested itself in a form of terrorist attack. Just a sign from the universe.

If you truly care about the world and progress of humanity, all you have to do is heal yourself. You have to take 100% responsibility of whatever that comes into your experience. Whatever comes in, love it and embrace it and let it upto the divine to take care of it.

This is why I started taking a great deal of liking in the works and teachings those who I once labelled as "LoA pornstars".

When I started questioning my own beliefs I was exposed to the technique called Ho'oponopono. The same technique I once scratched off as "piece of shit".

When I first started questioning, I questioned the idea of "total connectedness". What if everything is not connected to everything else as we say in the communities of spirituality?. So I questioned that and realized that everything is not connected and that I am a "separate" entity. I began questioning it based on the fact that I had accepted it blindly when I first got into LoA scene. And then began the era of being a "victim". I feel bad because of them. I feel bad because of that. etc etc.

But then again, if I am separate, why do I feel bad when something bad happens to someone? Then on further questioning, I came to peace with the idea of total connectedness.

yes, everything is, in fact, connected to everything else and itself.

The experiments like this go on to explain it with great deal of understanding.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2016, 03:52:38 PM by MrMaverick »

Offline Tenko

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2016, 02:19:26 AM »
Forgive me for not reading all your posts (well, only some small part of it) but I am with you on the fuck it part and just be happy. Fuck the entire thing of needing to know where it's gonna go and all the gibber gabber of needing things.
Just listen for the music here and now till it stops and go: "Hey where did it go?" And just go along.
Fuck everything else.

Offline Tenko

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2016, 02:38:11 AM »

Offline LaughingWolf

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2016, 10:00:43 PM »
This is to date the most glorious and helpful LOA post I have ever encountered.
Thanks for that  ;D

Offline livingdestiny

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #20 on: June 11, 2016, 04:10:50 AM »
I love you lol

Offline argus357

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #21 on: June 11, 2016, 10:42:31 PM »
euphoria.....drugs? insanity? naah!....thats a good time to manifest many things

Offline MrMaverick

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #22 on: June 08, 2018, 09:56:10 PM »
LMAO! Me and my stupid idiot self from 2 years back!
It was hilarious though...

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #23 on: June 08, 2018, 11:50:21 PM »

Offline MrMaverick

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #24 on: June 09, 2018, 12:14:49 AM »
LOL.. what do you mean?

Offline Demon

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Re: Fuck me.. Fuck my life and yeah... Fuck you too
« Reply #25 on: June 09, 2018, 01:39:33 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D Fucking awesome

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