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Author Topic: Truly a life changing story  (Read 3010 times)

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Offline katiepalatine4

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Truly a life changing story
« on: August 30, 2014, 12:54:36 AM »
Hi guys. I need some serious advice and encouragement. I've been praying and praying for answers so I'm really hoping someone can say something on here to help me out if you knew how much this was bothering, PLEASE take the time to read this.

I've been in the process of trying to attract back my ex for like 5 months now, its been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. But I am so thankful of how far I've come since the breakup, and I am so thankful for being introduced to LOA, truly a blessing. I get signs literally almost everyday whenever my vibration is high and feeling good and that's how I know I'm really close.

Basically we broke up because I was really insecure which led to fighting, and basically, we were extremely happy, but in other words, I was crazy. He was perfect though, we were each other's first everything. First real relationship, first love, first time. We have and always will have a really strong connection.

I've truly changed since the break up. We've been broken up for over a year and I've truly had time to reflect and ever since I am no longer insecure but instead truly confident and happy in life. I look back on all the stupid arguments we've had and just cringe at how stupid and dumb all of that was. He was truly in love with me and all the things I've feared, he would never ever done to me. It's kind of silly actually. Oh well, at least that brought me to where I am today.

 He said breaking up when one of the most important people in his lives (me) was honestly one of the most hardest things he's ever had to do. Which is why he never wants to take the chances of dating again and end up having to break up again. Which I completely understand, I can't even imagine how hard that must've been on him. Because when we broke up he still was deeply in love with me, but just couldn't handled the stresses anymore. Honestly, I am still surprised he stayed for as long as he did, because I was CRAZY.

Anyway, we've been through it all. The periods of seeing other people and never having it work out. The long periods of talking then not talking again for months. But basically this was all before LOA. I've planned schemed and plotted to getting him back. Done it all. Like by trying to make him jealous, lying by acting like I was moved on when I never really was, planning for mutual friends to talk to him and basically talk some sense into him. Even coming clean, admitting everything, telling him much I loved him and have changed, how sorry I am and how I would do anything to start over. Did any of that work? Nope. And then back to square one.

He would always tell me there's no way he would go back, it's too much stress, and it's one thing to say you've changed and but another thing to if I actually have. I get it, I get it all now. I would hear it all, that he doesn't love me anymore, that I need to move on, but then again, none of his actions added up to that ever. No one could ever understand it, he still extremely cared about me, but why couldn't he just be with me then? Well as time went on, it made more sense... He knew I was still hurting and dealing with the regret of "messing up" so badly, if he cared about me enough, he wouldn't have said, "I love you, I always will.... BUT I CAN'T BE WITH YOU" does that make sense? No that would be unfair and even more upsetting if that was actually what he was telling me. SO for my own good, he would tell me to move on, so that maybe I could actually listen, and find myself happy again. Although, I knew, deep down inside this wasn't the end. I knew that since day 1. Which is why I never gave up even when he told me to.

It wasn't until I found LOA that I realized I needed to stop planning on tactics to get him back but instead, work on myself, and just enjoy life and the universe will bring him back to me without me having to really do anything.  and that's exactly what I did. and honestly the changes I started hearing was AMAZING. we literally spent our entire summer together, and we are still seeing each other. I have everything again, his friendship, our 3 hour long talks about life, being able to be in his arms, being able to kiss him, and basically I have the happy relationship back. Although without the label. I use to pray and pray for the chance to prove to him I've changed and to remind him that he loves me and he can't just give up on me....

and I got that chance. Everyday from being just friends, I prove to him that I'm still the silly laid back girl who doesn't care about anything, the girl he fell in love with me. He will even tell me on his own that I've changed for the better, and you can just tell from being with him there is soooo much love between us and it is still so strong. He is starting to tell me he loves me, and that he wants to date again and "why can't be just be together again?" but I know he isn't ready yet.

Well basically, the other day, he was drunk and he admitted to my friend that he basically hates his life and that if he doesn't make it big into sports then it's "Goodbye"?? He said he has so much on his plate and he doesn't know what he's going to do. Hearing that honestly killed me. I've known he's always had his own problems but he's never explained it like that to me. He always feels like he's never good enough and that he needs to prove himself. When I keep trying to tell him and that everyone loves him and is proud of him no matter what. He is honestly depressed but covers it up with drinking.

When we were together he never drank, he didn't actually start for the first time until the week after we broke up. He says he's addicted and drinking and partying because it is what helps him forget about the mess he's in, and make him forget how ashamed he is of himself. and that made me so upset, because before we broke up, I was always his soft spot. I was always the person who helped him forget everything. Like everyone, his family and even friends would tell me that they've never seen that side of him until he met me. The last time they saw that side was when he was little and that it's good to have that back. They would actually THANK me for being in his life because of that.

So this is the breakthrough that happened the other day.... Let me backtrack a little... back before any of this LOA stuff, I would always try to move on, and you know how they say in order to do that you're suppose to cut of all contact to take time to work on yourself and move on. Which means no talking no seeing each other, none of that. But every time I tried doing that, I would let him know, I would say how much I loved him and it's nothing against him, but in order to move on I really need to stop talking to him. I would say it in the nicest way possible, I would explain how hurt I am and how I just want to be happy again and by moving on will help.

well he literally would hate every time I tried. and I mean HATE. Like by starting fights and say " I CANT BELEIVE YOU'RE KICKING ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE" he would literally freak out. and I never understood why.... because if he was over me, why would that matter? It's not like I hated him and that we could never talk again. I would always explain that it was only temporary until I started to feel better. And honestly, his reaction was always really bad to the point where I couldn't even continue doing it because it's like he needed me there. As if all of his soul and body depended on it. So that how we've always been friends. But actually never friends because we always acted like more, in an entire year we've never hung out once without kissing each other or even as simply as cuddling and holding hands.

So it makes so much more sense now.... because keep in mind, I was the only person he ever told anything to. I was the only person ever there for him and who cared so much about him. that's why when we'd go months without talking, whenever we'd get together again, it always seemed as if he had sooooooo much to vent to me about. Like immediately. Which just makes me think that when I'm not there, he doesn't have anyone there for him. And clearly he has been going through a lot.

But when my friend told me this last weekend, it changed my perspective, the first thing she said was "I know why he's not going back to you now... it's because he has so much to worry about, he isn't happy and is already dealing with so much" which made so much sense, I mean he's seen I've changed, he's seen he still deeply in love with me, and that nothing has changed between us, so why hasn't he come back? That is why.

Her advice was that, since I am in such a good place in my life now, I shouldn't get involved, that I should always be his friend if he needs someone to talk to, but he has so much to deal with that I shouldn't let any of that effect me and basically just move on. Basically saying I should stop hoping for him to come back one day, and instead I shouldn't even want to be with him anymore.

I honestly could not wrap my head around that. to me, that is so selfish... I love him so much. Actually, I am still madly in love with him, I know he still loves me, and actually needs me, how can I just walk away? Especially if before we broke up, he had the same exact problems, but he somehow was so much happier just because I was there. and I was his. What makes people think that can't happen again? I mean I'm not saying I can fix all of his problems by just being there... but I certainly think I can help a great amount. He didn't even start drinking until we broke up because when we broke up, we didn't talk or speak for months so he had nothing else to resort to. Nothing else to help him forget. If everything else between us is perfect and you can just tell how truly happy he is by just watching us together and I'm talking about NOW I truly believe this is the main reason why I haven't been able to move on or give up, because I am suppose to be here. and I know for fact without a doubt in my mind, that if we were to date again, he would honestly be so happy to have all of that again without the craziness.

OKay so my question is, what do I do? He doesn't even know I know any of this. parts of me really has an strong urge within to talk to him, and just tell him, I want to be there in his life to help him, that I don't want to leave him, and how hearing this news truly killed me inside. and how whatever he is scared of, we can work through this together, and I promise things can be a little better. but that's so risky because he is so stubborn and might just turn me down. But I really feel like I should do that.

Or is there something I can do to help him out through LOA? Like tell him through feelings and thoughts about how much I love him and how I want him to feel comfortable with giving this all another chance, I just want him to feel loved, secure, and safe with that idea. WHat exactly can I do to do that? I am so confused here, please someone help me out. All help is welcome!

THANK YOU ALL AND GOD BLESS

Offline katiepalatine4

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2014, 03:27:37 AM »
Please someone reply! I know most times people don't, but I really really need help

Offline Tenko

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2014, 04:18:28 AM »
Hi, I would advice you to doing rampages of appreciarion, this would make your vibrations raise. Trust me when I say all is well for you
« Last Edit: August 30, 2014, 04:28:25 AM by Tenko »

Offline katiepalatine4

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2014, 04:31:20 AM »
wait, what do you mean by rampages of appreciation?

Offline FindDivineTogether

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2014, 06:53:31 AM »
Say to yourself or out loud what you are Appreciative of in your life...

You can just list all the things you have and that you are truly grateful for..thats what going on a rampage of appreciation is just going over and over again..everything you value in your life and FEEEL IT, BELIEVE IT AND CONTINUE TO THINK IT! I actually do this through out the day..it raises your vibration big time!!!!

Put some passion behind it..it really does make a difference :D

Offline waterfall

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2014, 07:31:45 AM »
OKay so my question is, what do I do? He doesn't even know I know any of this. parts of me really has an strong urge within to talk to him, and just tell him, I want to be there in his life to help him, that I don't want to leave him, and how hearing this news truly killed me inside. and how whatever he is scared of, we can work through this together, and I promise things can be a little better. but that's so risky because he is so stubborn and might just turn me down. But I really feel like I should do that.

This to me is selfish. Aren't you selfish enough that you do not want to risk rejection ? Read the quoted part again. Your ego doesn't want rejection so it doesn't want you to contact him. That to me is selfish.

Offline katiepalatine4

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2014, 07:44:42 AM »
No but like I've been rejected so many times by him to where I've noticed now that I've stopped "trying to get him back, expressing my love, ect." and just allowing the universe to take over, I have seen HUGE improvements. But all I am saying is this time it's different, so I don't know if this action is coming from the source inside of me, like an action within my heart or if this is just me trying to make things happen, which you aren't suppose to do in LOA at all. idk im just stuck!! please help.

Offline shitom

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2014, 11:11:41 AM »
Ignore the reality and imagine yourself with him happily together. The more you focus on him being depressed and drinking, the more you will see that in your reality. Keep focusing on the perfect scenario and trust universe. Things will fall into place on their own. Send him love and just be there. You have yourself seen the amazing results of loa, trust in the universe now.

Offline EvilZeroSc

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2014, 11:43:00 AM »
Imagine having a great relationship with him...give love to the qualities you like about him.  And just stay out of the way and do nothing.  Keep your hands off it...the more you can keep a hands off policy the more it will come to you.  The opportunities will come.  And remember the circumstances don't matter, only your state of being matters.  You have a belief of him that says this is who he is...so start reinventing him in your own mind as a happy person...and hold true to that image.  And you will experience that version of him.  Keep your self-respect and stay happy...

Offline siamesegirl

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2014, 11:24:26 PM »
And Katie, think about YOU and the things you like to do, that make you happy, separate from him and get on with that xx

Offline katiepalatine4

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2014, 12:20:50 AM »
but I don't know, shouldn't I be there for him in this time of need? I don't want any of this to stop him from feeling in the "right spot" to have me as his girlfriend, I just want him to know how much better I can make things I feel like he knows it I know he does.. but he's just too scared to take the chance right now and risk anything going bad in the state he is in. but if we're basically together and I still have the capability to make him so happy and forget about what's going on around him... shouldn't that be enough?

so you're saying to not do anything about that and just focus on myself?

Offline Maverick

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2014, 11:48:33 PM »
This to me is selfish. Aren't you selfish enough that you do not want to risk rejection ? Read the quoted part again. Your ego doesn't want rejection so it doesn't want you to contact him. That to me is selfish.

You're a male, aren't you?
If yes, very wrong advice. lol

Offline EvilZeroSc

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Re: Truly a life changing story
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2014, 05:17:03 PM »
but I don't know, shouldn't I be there for him in this time of need? I don't want any of this to stop him from feeling in the "right spot" to have me as his girlfriend, I just want him to know how much better I can make things I feel like he knows it I know he does.. but he's just too scared to take the chance right now and risk anything going bad in the state he is in. but if we're basically together and I still have the capability to make him so happy and forget about what's going on around him... shouldn't that be enough?

so you're saying to not do anything about that and just focus on myself?

You need to learn more about this LOA, so you understand why...
« Last Edit: September 01, 2014, 05:21:44 PM by EvilZeroSc »

Offline GamarjagaQ

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