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Author Topic: This thread is not about getting your ex back  (Read 3882 times)

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Offline Coley915

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #15 on: October 12, 2013, 05:08:11 AM »
I was raised a catholic by force and I do not practice it any longer.

That said I always felt that way with prayer.  I could not understand what repeating a whole rosary worth of Hail Marys and Our Fathers would do to help me be a good person or heal people or answer my wishes.  if it was meant to center me or puts in se sort of grateful mindset, well, it certainly did not do that for me.

I feel meditation calms me down and allows me to focus.  It puts me into a relaxed state where I feel good.

How do I keep that good feeling?  Well, like you said some days we are so overloaded with negative crap that its hard to keep vibing high.  I personally avoid the news and news websites and instead seek out articles or sites that educate me on my interests or provide a laugh.  On days where I really feel crummy I either watch something uplifting or motivating or I just allow myself the time to just be.  Be present in how I am feeling.

I guess I just try to focus on the good as much as I can.  There is always something to be grateful for, and there is always someone who has it worse than me.


Offline Poochdad

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #16 on: October 12, 2013, 05:15:59 AM »
very true.  I have picked up on things along the way. 

Say for example the idea that every situation is either good or bad.  The reality for me now is that every situation is good no matter what.  The world around you is supposed to be a direct reflection of how you feel right? So if stuff that you don't want is happening then it makes sense that there is something going on inside you that needs to be checked or at least for you to figure out a way to flip it to where its something you do want. 

The other day after I returned I had to register my motorcycle in the state of NC.  My friend who watched it didn't tell me it expired.  Anyway, I could have been pissed all day long but instead I focused on the positive end of the entire situation.  I ended up having a good time with my other friend getting the bike registered.  I met an old mechanic dude that was pretty awesome, got to ride around and other stuff.  Anyway, as I gradually felt good again things began to play out the way I wanted them. Again the feeling is what made the difference.  All I had to do was focus on good feelings and I got what I wanted and more.

It is the feeling of it.  The feeling of already having and so on. 

I wanted to go to California really bad.  I fantasized about it numerous of times. Mediated and so on.  Anyway, when the time came I asked to get moved to Cali and I got it. Not only did I get it, I received options of what part of Cali to go to.  Coincidence? i don't think so.  Mind you this is where action came into play.  If you are afraid of success then you will not receive a lot of the things you want right? Fear in a sense is a negative feeling because it focuses on the not having or whatever so how can you have something you are afraid of?


Offline Coley915

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2013, 05:30:51 AM »
I think you are very accurate in what you are saying.  Focusing on the good versus the bad.  I've noticed that if I start out my day on a bad foot it usually snow balls into something terrible.  If I start out in a happy mood I notice things tend to stay on the happier side of things.

That said, Wednesday I woke up feeling awful.  I get migraines a lot so it was one of those mornings where I just woke up with one.  I didn't want to go to work but I had to for a meeting.  I went to work and on my way stopped and ordered a triple shot espresso latte to help kick the headache, and used one of my free coffees at Starbucks.  My head hurt so bad and I was in a sad mood for whatever reason. I ended up crying my entire commute to work from being in so much pain and just being sad.  I took maybe one sip of my huge ass latte.  On my way out of the  car, I spilled the ENTIRE latte in the parking lot, on my car, and on me.  My immediate reaction was to cry, get back in my car and drive home...and then I just laughed.  I laughed and said, "oh well, at least it was a free coffee."  And I couldn't stop laughing.  My day got a bit better but still went home due to the migraine...no amount of laughing helped that at all.

But yes, I think by just flipping our thoughts around to focus on the good and neglect the bad or what we don't desire is a good way to keep ourselves in alignment with the feelings we want to experience and the things we want to create and manifest.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2013, 05:34:21 AM by Coley915 »

Offline Maverick

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #18 on: October 12, 2013, 06:06:02 AM »
Oh well!

I am glad that you exist on this forum...

I am so sick and tired of all the threads regarding "wanting an ex back"... The desire to want an ex back is indeed a retarded desire... Let me explain why in the thread that I am going to post next... (I know I am being mean (although its not mean at all) but folks, try to rise above your emotions and feel the world in the fullest possible way)

Leaving that topic aside, I am here...
I am all about experimenting new things all the time...

If you have a lot of information cluttered in your head, I'd like to recommend you one of the "most practical" programs about the Law of Attraction...

Search youtube for "Your Wish Is Your Command".. The most badass program I've ever came across..

PS : I am not affiliated with anything that relates to Global Information Network and their affiliate program... (so I am pointing you to the freely available resource, and not trying to sell it)

Offline StarlightAria

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #19 on: October 12, 2013, 06:26:56 AM »
I know prayer isn't supposed to be about lack. It always just ends up being that way for me. I pray and say thank you but if I'm praying hard it's because I want something, which I don't do often. 

You're right. You have to have the full feeling of being in your desire in the present and feeling that concentrated emotion. I have the concentrated emotion, clearly because I am so hung up on my desire. My problem is the feeling of having it in the now, not feeling the lack. I'm doing an NAP to work on my limiting beliefs and work on detachment, cause I want my desire to manifest.

And maverick, everyone has the right to go after what makes them happy, and if it an ex, who are you to judge? If you are saying it is something narrow to focus on, I disagree. I've learned that people that are happy in their own lives are more likely to treat others outside their circle better, so really it does benefit others.  Maybe you're thinking about things in a negative light- look at the positives of people being happy :)

Offline Maverick

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #20 on: October 12, 2013, 07:31:56 AM »
Quote
And maverick, everyone has the right to go after what makes them happy, and if it an ex, who are you to judge? If you are saying it is something narrow to focus on, I disagree. I've learned that people that are happy in their own lives are more likely to treat others outside their circle better, so really it does benefit others.  Maybe you're thinking about things in a negative light- look at the positives of people being happy :)

Okay, I'm gonna put you on the spot here... I tried really hard to resist making this post and leave you with you opinions... But this is the thing I feel must be addressed... And this is found in abundance on this forum...
I don't expect everyone to agree with me on this but I'm gonna throw it out anyway...

First, I am not asking anyone to give up their right to go after what they want... I am no one to judge and yes, it is a fact that I am borderline judgmental about everything in this world... And this judgment has came to me after seeing 1000s of people and 1000s of real life manifestations... and millions of failed manifestation...

I am not saying narrowing your focus down is a bad thing... BUT... Whats bad is the reason behind WHY are you narrowing your focus down...
From most of people I have interacted with it is clear that they want to narrow their focus because it is easier... Talking in terms of wanting ex back... People think its easier to attract the same person back because it is easier... If they lose this person then god knows how long they have to live alone without being loved... Most of the times it the FEAR of not finding relationship... If you are trying too hard to hold on to something because you believe this is the ONLY BEST thing that I can get then it is clear indication that you are swimming in the sea of scarcity... Which is a bad place for anyone to be in, and I am not even talking in terms of the Law Of Attraction... No one wants to be around someone who is insecure about themselves... Would YOU like to be with someone who is always spying on you because they fear a slight ignorance might make them lose you?
That is the general vibe around this forum...

I myself have gone through that phase... It is very natural and normal to want to be loved... And it feels really bad to lose the person you really hit it off with... I have got my heart broken 1000s of times... And that is where this mindset emerges from...

What do most people do when they break up? They cry, feel sorry for themselves (which is okay, I feel that too) and then they make themselves believe that since this person left me I suck... They give up on their life and solely focus on getting that person back... Getting an ex back becomes their purpose... And this is the place where things start going bad...
Then make things even worse, they start seeking asylum on the internet forums, and there are so many people who are offering sympathy... The shot of sympathy makes them feel loved and makes them feel that some really cares about them...

Its their own narcissism that makes them feel that someone even cares...

The more such things you seek in your life, the less you are likely to assess your own life and take corrective actions to help improve their life... That is the sole reason why I don't post "feel good" advice... and I am not guilty about that...

The most important thing everyone needs to realize is, they have to take responsibilities for themselves... Human DNA is lazy in nature and it is not going to do extra bit of work to improve its situation... It is only concerned about whether you are alive or not... If you are alive, good enough... If negative emotions make you feel alive, good enough...
There is a reason why conscious mind exists.. It is to make yourself do what you should do...

Okay, lets get back on point...

Law of attraction works for people who are excited about life... I am so excited to do this and do that... That is how good things come to you... Not merely projecting I want this and I want that... Very unhelpful mindset...

Now I have came across a lot of people who successfully got their ex back... Whats common among them? They didn't sit at home whining about sad existence of their reality... They proactively worked on making their lives better.. The proactively worked on getting over the hatred about why bad things happened to them... And since they were happy, they attracted right people in their lives who are gonna make them even more happier...

So the point is, Law Of Attraction works for you... When you find yourself trying make someone attracted to you, you are putting out confusing though patterns... You don't realize that the person you are trying to attract might have their own desires... They might not be attracted to something you are right now... Since this is a complicated situation where both the involved frequencies do not match, it never manifests...

So if anyone really want to get the good relationships, FIRST OF ALL, develop positive relationship with yourself... Do not go on bettering your life to attract someone else... I have seen so many people going on doing weird things to attract someone else... Do something because that makes YOU feel good and happy... And accept the fact that no one owes you anything... No one is concerned about your happiness.. If you were happy with your ex but somehow your ex wasn't as happy with you as with someone else, let them go...

The only quest in life is to make yourself happy and it was wise and natural decision of your ex to make themselves happy... You should do the same...

I really appreciate you point of view about happy people and that is what I am trying to reinforce here... First of all, learn to be happy with yourself, and others will be happy around you... But people who post about getting their ex back are not happy about themselves in the first place and nor they want to get to know the truth that they are making their situation even worse by acting like that...

This might sound like the explosion of negativity, but I am just trying to help... Text has its own limitation and I take full responsibility if this has come across as negative and hatred towards the world... But in real life, when I talk the same thing people tend to start laughing at their thinking because I am super expressive with my language and the way I speak..
I laugh at my own mistakes all the time and that is the reason I no more find myself getting bad feelings about anything in this world... And I hate to explain why I do what I do just because I can not put on the same vibe over text :D

PEACE

PS : this is not a negative outburst
PPS : This is just a message that I believe deep down in my heart to be conveyed :)

Offline Poochdad

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Re: This thread is not about getting your ex back
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2013, 08:37:37 AM »
Everyone so far has a good point if you ask me. 

See it all comes from the feeling of it.  So fine, lets talk about the Ex issue which is naturally what brings people to the net for answers.

I have seen people jump on the net with LOA/PUA/Psychic and etc with one purpose in mind.  Getting your ex back.  Without attempting to be judgmental because I am not trying to be, think really deep about the reason why you have just jumped on the net asking for question, and how tos, and so on about how to get your ex back.  It is all coming from lack.

If you sit down and really pay attention to your feelings towards your ex, at first thought is the feeling of happiness with yourself? or a feeling of fulfillment with your own self? I had read in a book that life as a whole when you look at it, it is nothing more than a reflection of yourself or how you feel at the present time. 

It is clear that speaking of my own personal example; there was this one girl long ago.  I loved her and still do.  When things went sour between us I hated myself.  How did I end up with her who knows nor do I care to dig into it right now.  However, it is clear that our relationship took a turn for the worse due to how I felt inside which in turn I projected towards her and she reacted. 

If you take the time and look at your past relationships, do you see a pattern in them?  Take the time and write down the names of the people you have dated/married etc.  Write down their qualities both negative and positive as they come to you at first thought.  You will find a pattern on their behaviors.  Clearly there will be lots of positives because we want to remember them that way; however look at the negatives.  If they have a lot of negatives going on that are similar guess what, these are the negative patterns that you are attracting which in turn are the the negative patters currently living within you.  THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL!

You can dive into this head first and dig real far in the past if you want to find out things about yourself and what has created your negative BELIEFS which are what is running your current experience.  One pattern that jumps right up is being CLINGY.

If you look in the past to where you were a child you might have had a belief created within you between the age of 1-7 where the adults in you immediate life made you clingy.  For me, my dad wasnt there, my mom dated many men and I always felt she was going to abandon us.  At times it seemed like it.  So when she would leave I would cry bloody murder because I thought she left us as well. When she was around I would jump on her and would not want to let go.  Anyway, I believe this began my clingy patter.  Fast forward to life with all my relationships I was clingy to the point that it was a turn off to women.  Women may know what this is like when men behave this way, which in turn made things worst for me so on and so on. 

What I am trying to get at is this.  Deep inside is how I felt, it was a belief that made me how I was.  So how can I expect to have fulfillment within me if how I truly felt was that every woman out there was going to leave me.  I can say all the affirmations in the world and all the mediation in the world and so on but if how I truly feel is that I am going to be abandoned then why would I be surprised about the outcome.  Not sure if any of that makes sense so if anyone gets it and can explain it more clearly please chime in. 

Every experience is a positive one.  If I go to a bar/club/street and talk to a woman, no matter what happens the outcome is a positive one.  It is all about the perspective you take on it.  If I get rejected it is positive because I am wiser and more experience on how to talk to women.  The feeling of it is not rejection, it is experience and knowledge.

Every person you meet is not supposed to like you, it is supposed to teach you in order for you to grow.  If your ex left you, your job fired you and so on; life has placed that scenario in your path because you have attracted it.  You can either rise to the challenge, overcome it and grow stronger so that when the scenario shows up again you can just jump over that hurdle and be more skilled or you can be stuck at zero and whatever.  I no longer look at rejection, break up or whatever as something to be sad about.  I look at it as something that I have learned from in order for me to be truly ready for the relationship I truly want. 

I agree with the whole ex subject that a lot people are looking at it from the wrong angle.  If it must be addressed lets talk about it.   

The fact that people jump on the net in order to find answers to get him/her back is coming from lack.  Then when things don't play out we jump on the subject again and still comes from lack.  if you don't post but you browse the net for answers it is coming from lack.  if you ask your friends it is coming from lack.  no matter what whenever you search, think and whatever for ways to get him/her it is coming from lack. the sad part about it is that we are by the power of whatever god you praise to, empowered with altering our universe/experience in life.  it has been said over and over that no matter what, the greater force does not discriminate.  if you want tomatoes to rain from the sky and you truly believe you can make it happen no matter what and you are 100% focused, tomatoes will rain.  regardless of how stupid it may see/weird to others, we will all be covered in tomato sauce. 

The point is this.  you can mediate/pray or whatever and while you do these things yes you will be focused on the end result but as soon as you stop if that FEELING is not congruent with how you naturally and truly see yourself, you will not have what you desire.  One way to begin changing all of these negative outcomes from your life is by changing from within.  teh world is a direct reflection of who you are and how you feel about yourself.  If you don't like how things are going in your reality, you need to change how you feel, not what you think.  A thought cannot do much unless feeling is with it all the way.  Not for 30 mins, 20 mins and so on.  It has to be a constant force unless it is no shit a 100% feeling/belief empowered by no shit passion.  Hence a girl lifting a car off her dad in order to save his life. 

FEELING ladies and gentlemen.  This is the key.  A never ending feeling.  This is what all the gurus talk about but they use all this gibberish talk and language that confuse the crap out of me.  I am a simple man with a simple mind which rotates around common words and common sense.  You don't like what is happening around you? change your feeling about whats going on around you.  Don't look at the glass as being half empty, look at it as an opportunity for you to go out and meet someone while you fill it back up. 

I being a man who has been to war, been in a gang, have seen death and so on find it somewhat hard to get in touch with my feelings.  I had struggled to find a way to get in touch with that part of me because I had to stop it in order to function without loosing it.  Now that I am back to normal, again I struggled.  So what helps me? music, my dogs, my family, the kids that depend on me, the good times vice the bad ones, whatever positives that have happened in my life.  The moment I feel that way, then I focus those good feelings on the things I want and I appreciate what I have and the people I have met in my life and so on and what do you know? I get the things I want.  Money or any outside factor does not dictate my happiness.  I dictate it from within with my feelings not about the outside world, but my feelings towards me. 

If you are allowing someone else to dictate if you are going to be happy, not only are you being selfish you are doing an injustice to that person because they are also struggling to be happy.  So how does that make sense? 

Check your feelings towards things, follow your no shit gut instinct.  If I die right now which I highly doubt I will because no matter what I still remain strong, remember these words and piece them together on how they make you feel.  It begins as a thought, then it will generate an emotion, combined they will generate a feeling/belief, then and only then will you truly communicate with the higher force as I understand it/believe IT.  If your belief is on lack and pain, then that's what you will get. 

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