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Author Topic: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP  (Read 2818 times)

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Offline marioska

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DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« on: August 03, 2013, 05:24:53 AM »
Hey everyone! Hope you're doing great  ;D
Some weeks ago I came here explaining that I was feeling stupid and doubtful. I've been in a relationship for twoo years and a half, even we broke up once. I always felt that he's the one. But a year ago, I met someone that made me feel doubtful. At that time, I was doing great on my relationship and I didn't want anything with this other boy. For a year he's been my friend, but, last November we confessed each other our feelings. I decided to carry on with my boyfriend because I really loved him and, even I was a little heartbroken about this other guy, I thought I was doing the right thing. We kept our friendly relationship, even sometimes he sent to me some confussing messages. But last month has been crazy. A week ago, we went out togheter and we kissed, and he came to my house. There was no sex, because I decided to stop it, but there was passion (I felt like a teenager) I felt that we needed that moments. The problem is that I'm still with my boyfriend, and I told him I kissed someone else.
But back to last month... my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me because I'm leaving to study abroad. I was really angry and I think I'm still angry. I don't care as much as I did in the past. I was hurt because he wanted to break up with me, no solid reason. But I'm also angry because he keeps on telling me he loves me soooo much and that when I come back everythin will be fantastic again. I feel he doesn't listen to me, and he doesn't really care, even I know he feels something strong about me.

Sorry for the long explanations, I'm trying to be as brief as I can (I don't even know if brief is the right word for this but I hope you understand).
My question... I don't think I have a question. I love my boyfriend but I feel that right now I need some time without him, and then we'll see. I want him to realize that he has to listen to my feelings to, and try to understand them. And this other boy... well, we felt attracted since we met each other. There are many things that I dislike about him, but, at the same time, he's got the things I like in a boy... and some of them are the ones that my boyfriend doesn't have. I know him as a friend, a very close one, so I think I have an idea of how he is. The problem is, can I end up a relationship of two years and just start "something" with this other guy, when I leave in September to another country?
Maybe you think you cannot help me, but I know it's me the one that has to take the decission. I just need to write down this, it helps a lot. At the same time, I'd like to know your oppinion. Maybe you've been through a similar situation... even if you haven't I'd like to hear what you can tell me about this
"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." Henry Ford.

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2013, 05:25:42 AM »
Oh! and thanks in advance!

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2013, 05:27:53 AM »
And sorry for the spelling mistakes, I'm falling asleep  :P

Offline waterfall

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2013, 06:34:20 AM »
Don't know about loa......but always go for the second guy......the first one ad a chance and didn't work. What's the probability of it working when you get back together ?

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2013, 06:52:57 PM »
Yeah, sometimes I feel tha Universe sent me the second guy because he's gonna give me a better relationship. I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm gonna ask the Universe for guidance. I just want things to go the best way. But I think the Universe will correspond to my wishes. Daeep inside I want something with the second guy. Anyway, I'd like to hear more oppinions.  THANK YOU WATERFALL!

Offline Laughoutloudx3

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2013, 10:20:53 PM »
Honestly it's clear to me that you don't want your boyfriend anymore, you want this other guy. I think the only thing you're really feeling is guilt. But in saying that there are things you already don't like about the second guy, be prepared for it to be a possibility that you might see that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Or it could work out perfectly. I left a 4 & a half year relationship and jumped into another one a month later. It wasn't a rebound, & I was with the guy for ironically the same 4 & a half years, before he then left me. That is the guy I am trying to attract back now.

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2013, 05:16:06 AM »
I just want to do everything right. I think it's time for this other guy, but my year abroad makes me think that maybe this can be a disaster... Anyway, Thanks for your oppinions. They changed my point of view.
It's clear I feel guilty, but I can't feel guilty about what I feel, righ?  ::)

Offline waterfall

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2013, 05:35:49 AM »
I just want to do everything right

The faster you get over that obsession, the faster you will start enjoying the process. Just a point, in the universe there is nothing right and wrong. Right and wrong might be your beliefs, not universe's. You might spend the whole life looking for perfect this and perfect that.....the reality is, we all die one way or the other. So go out and swing, don't worry about hits and misses. Bret Favre has most touch downs.........but he also has most interceptions. :P

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #8 on: August 05, 2013, 05:49:52 AM »
Sooooo... I should just do what I want? Right now I'd like to be cuddling with the second guy  :P, but I still have a boyfriend so it wouldn't be fair for him... And my friends keep telling me that even if your relationship didn't exist anymore, it wouldn't be fair for him... But in my oppinion, I have to focus on what I want, because even when I try to make things work for the best, there's always something unexpected that creates a problem. I know, perfection doesn't exist, everything would be really boring if it did  :D

Offline waterfall

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2013, 06:01:08 AM »
Think about your boyfriend for a minute. Don't you think he is bringing this break up to him by his own thoughts ? LOA works for everyone, whether you know or don't. :). Here, I just made it easier.....:D. As a respect you can tell him that it is not working and move on.

Offline Mr Brightside

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2013, 06:20:41 AM »
Simple. You are self destructing the relationship.

You feel like he will break up with you anyways, and now you are the one who is actually ending it yourself.

Personally you don't really want the new guy, he is more of a escape than anything tangible.

Essentially you are probably going to end up with neither... more than likely.

Oh if you really want some good advice, dont go for the new guy... he will end up only leaving you with guilt over what you did. Its not worth it really... why dont you take the high road and do the right thing.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Offline marioska

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #11 on: August 05, 2013, 06:46:18 AM »
Thank for your replies! Yes, I thought about the possibility of him attracting de break up, and not only mentally.
Mr Brightside, I understand what you say and it's possible that you're right. But I'd like to try something with this guy. Anyway, I always talk to him about this stuff. He knows he's free to meet other people, and, in fact, some months ago he met a girl, but their relationship didn't work. He tells me about other girls, and even I know we're special to each other, we're friends. Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate your sincerity, I really needed it.

Offline Laughoutloudx3

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2013, 06:48:43 AM »
I just want to do everything right

The faster you get over that obsession, the faster you will start enjoying the process. Just a point, in the universe there is nothing right and wrong. Right and wrong might be your beliefs, not universe's. You might spend the whole life looking for perfect this and perfect that.....the reality is, we all die one way or the other. So go out and swing, don't worry about hits and misses. Bret Favre has most touch downs.........but he also has most interceptions. :P

This made me think. If there's no right or wrong, what about The Law of Karma? Unless you don't think it exists?

Offline waterfall

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2013, 07:40:26 AM »
I just want to do everything right

The faster you get over that obsession, the faster you will start enjoying the process. Just a point, in the universe there is nothing right and wrong. Right and wrong might be your beliefs, not universe's. You might spend the whole life looking for perfect this and perfect that.....the reality is, we all die one way or the other. So go out and swing, don't worry about hits and misses. Bret Favre has most touch downs.........but he also has most interceptions. :P

This made me think. If there's no right or wrong, what about The Law of Karma? Unless you don't think it exists?

 I posted thin in another thread, everything about LOA comes down to belief and vibrations. If I don't believe in Karma, I don't care. Somewhere I think Karma is kind of a fear that people have. Every religion and every society over the ages has always warned people against 
I just want to do everything right

The faster you get over that obsession, the faster you will start enjoying the process. Just a point, in the universe there is nothing right and wrong. Right and wrong might be your beliefs, not universe's. You might spend the whole life looking for perfect this and perfect that.....the reality is, we all die one way or the other. So go out and swing, don't worry about hits and misses. Bret Favre has most touch downs.........but he also has most interceptions. :P

This made me think. If there's no right or wrong, what about The Law of Karma? Unless you don't think it exists?

I think LOA is about beliefs more than anything. So IF I don't believe in Karma, I don't have one. A lot of people here get caught in the moralities of the world. Moralities are established by humans, not the universe.

Offline Laughoutloudx3

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Re: DOUBTS, DOUBTS, DOUBTS... HEEEEELP
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2013, 08:54:03 AM »
Yess I got you!! I guess though because I believe in God I feel like the best thing to do is just try to do everything with love & out of pure intentions every time. :)

 

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