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Success Stories / Re: He came back when I didn't want him anymore.
« on: July 07, 2016, 10:27:08 AM »
Yup.....works every time. This goes for all desires. Whenever I move on and don't really care anymore, it happens instantly.

How did many of these things work out for you? Did you still want these things or people? Or had you moved on and receiving the people or things didn't really matter? We say we forget or have moved on but do we totally 100%?

How to Use Law of Attraction / Re: Write down your desires
« on: June 13, 2016, 06:48:21 AM »
Do you write all the things you don't want in order to come up with the things that you do want?

I read it in a Michael J. Losier book on LOA.

Do any of you use this strategy?

But how do you do that? What actions do you take? It's hard when I've been living one way for so long!

Nighty is right and you didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't even be thinking about having done anything wrong, because he clearly just wanted sex. If that was my date I would have ran for the hills and be grateful I got away from that creep.

First try to figure out why you keep attracting these situations at the first place. I know a lot of Nevillists recommend going straight to the end result and not bother with belief systems, which is all well and good, BUT it helps to see the bigger picture. Try to make associations as to how you developed this mindset at the first place.
Either you experienced rejection at some point in childhood or later in life that left you feeling that there must be something wrong with you and that's why nobody wants you, or
you may have seen role models of men, that are disrespectful, reject women or are just fickle and only wants sex. Either from your parents or from your own early relationships.

Whatever you identify, try to see how it is absurd for you to believe that this is the norm. That yes, you were made to feel that way that time, but it was the other person who was in the wrong for mistreating you. See it clearly, that there was nothing wrong with you. See how silly it is to keep holding on to that belief, that you can easily just choose to decide that you won't let that situation control you for the rest of your life.
Think of as many examples of good men, who want to be in a relationship and are completely happy being with a woman, love her and want a family with her. Decide that you will attract men like that from now on and that is normal and expected! The universe will listen to you, the only reason you have attracted fickle ones is because you have felt that it will happen in your subconscious mind. Define a new standard and this is what you will get.

Then to use LOA, yes - do make yourself a soul mate list and start seeing your perfect relationship with a guy that you are truly happy and comfortable with and just have a knowing that he is already on his way to you. Don't worry, you won't be single or dating creeps forever. The past ones have just been the reflection of your mind so far, now that you have changed your mind, you will have a much greater control and much better results ;)

Thank you so much! What should I do to "think & believe"  and "feel" this? Affirmations, writing it over and over, visual meditation, speaking about it as if it's so? I just need to know more of the way "how"? I can be on a positive streak for a while and then something knocks it down.

I agree with Nighty, Selina and Posay, don't play any pretend games, just be yourself and the man who would make you the happiest and be the best fit for your soul will love you the way you are and stick around.
I have never in my life played anything, I've always let it flow naturally and I've never had any issues getting a guy I like. For starters, don't put the guy on a pedestal, thinking you need to impress him somehow, as if you are some damaged goods that isn't wanted unless you trick him into wanting you.

In life you tend to get what you think is normal for you. You base this opinion on your past, either by observing your parents relationship or how others have rejected you, even kids in a playgroup. Even if this is not the case, you can still have 1 bad relationship and adapt a belief that it's normal that you are unwanted and unloved, men only want sex etc. So every time you have a chance, you repeat the same pattern and start thinking something must be wrong with you.

You need to adapt a mindset and feeling that it is normal and extremely natural for any man you like to like you back, to want to be with you, stay with you and to treat you with love and respect.
When I go on a date, it never even occurs to me that the guy may not like me. It may sound cocky, but that's the mentality you should have. It doesn't mean that you are full of yourself and think you are above and much better than the guy, it means that you know you are lovable, you know your value.

How do I do that? How do I change to have that mindset?

If you that mindset and things don't work out, how do you not let it bother you?

Like now, I keep wondering what I did wrong or what I should have said differently.

Is there anyway to make these guys change their minds about me?

This last guy kept asking me how long ago I had been in a relationship and basically asking me about sexual experience, but not a whole lot else. Was he only interested in sex and not actually me? He told me he thought my pics were cute and enjoyed our conversation, but didn't think we were compatible because I was "conservative". So, I was basically friend zoned before he even met me. 😭

I just want different results!!

I agree with posay. Ultimately, if you have to resort to games in order to get someone interested, they're not really interested are they? And when "the thrill of the chase" disappears they'll usually just disappear.

Of course, it's a truism that playing hard to get increases desire. See this speech from Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida:

Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice,
He offers in another's enterprise;
But more in Troilus thousand fold I see
Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be;
Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.

That she beloved knows nought that knows not this:
Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech:
Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.

Ironically (or perhaps should I say, deliberately on Shakespeare's part), Cressida turns out to be unfaithful. She plays games, she hides her feelings - and she is as inconstant as she is deceitful. Never trust a woman who plays hard to get, Shakespeare seems to say.

If someone's right for you, he won't stop liking you when he sees that you like him back. On the contrary, it can make him more excited. Think of Romeo and Juliet. Juliet admits that, according to social norms, she should have played hard to get, but says that her constancy is greater than that of women who play games:

O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.
Or if thou thinkíst I am too quickly won,
Iíll frown and be perverse and say thee nay,
So thou wilt woo. But else, not for the world.
In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,
And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light.
But trust me, gentleman, Iíll prove more true
Than those that have more coying to be strange.

Does Romeo lose interest now that he sees Juliet's passion for him?
Well, er, no.
The rest is history.

(NB: You may be wondering why I'm referring to Shakespeare so much. Well, apart from the fact that I am a Shakespeare nerd, there is a fairly good reason. Shakespeare's known for his accurate estimation of human nature. In fact, in his 1999 classic Shakespeare and the Invention of the Human, influential critic Harold Bloom went so far as to claim that Shakespeare's work actually served to shape human nature as we now know it. So yes, Shakespeare is very relevant. ;) )

I find it interesting that you are quoting Shakespeare, because this last guy was an English Professor. 😍

Pro tip , from a guy , on other guys in general. What common element do you notice , even on this forum? Guys want a girl who's hard to get , most guys here could have a girlfriend right now but they want that ONE. And generally speaking she's not easy to get .. Which only makes it more attractive

Guys are like hunters , they go for the challenge. This is going to sound horrible but I would chase woman until I slept with them and then lose interest. Not because they are not great, but that challenge was gone ... And that excitement

So my advice is play a little hard to get , make them think you're not totally sure you're interested and maybe need some convincing... Try it and let's see how different they act ;)

I don't know how to play hard to get obviously! When I like someone, I feel like I need to do something. It always seems to backfire! How do you play hard to get with people you actually are interested in and want them to notice or be interested in you?

I just feel like I've messed up so many times!!!! I really wanted things to work out!!

Is there a way to change the way these guys look at me? I mean the ones who left me?!

Well in my eyes those guys are not worth it.
You are focusing to too much on why instead of
Loving you, visualize you being in a relationship.
Or you can write down how you want your relationship to be like, go into allot of details and really feel it.
Then fold it up and forget about it

But how do I do that if my reality is that they lose interest so fast?

Do you think to your self that you are not dateable

Well, it seems to happen so often. Men approach me, but then back off very quickly! It's hard not to think that way! So, yes I guess I do! 😭 Just recently I was talking to a man who dismissed me, because I don't have a lot of dating/sexual experince! I really wanted to date him!

Or it seems that they only want sex or an ego boost!

Is there any possible way to change their feelings about me as I am "dateable"?

How do I change my story of being I dateable or guys always quickly leaving me before anything gets started?

Time and time again I meet men I'm interested in and they leave before anything starts. So, u can attract them to me. They think I'm cute and nice, but not enough to date. Happened again with a few guys online. I really would like to be in a relationship! I want to break this pattern! I need steps and an intervention!

How to Use Law of Attraction / Re: Write down your desires
« on: June 03, 2016, 08:19:31 AM »
I have a few more questions..........

1.  Should this list be handwritten with paper and pencil/pen?  Could you keep this same list on your cell phone?

2.  How specific?  Can I list specific men I want to attract better and then say "or someone better"?
                             Ex.   Like......Bob or Bill or someone better.  LOL!
I ultimately want the best guy for me and a good relationship.

I might make a list of people I want to attract back.....just for the fun of it to see if it works!  LOL!

There are so many things I want to attract........from more money, a house, a songwriting career,  weight loss, a relationship, money!!!!! 

It sounds like you are attached to the outcome.  When you do not care if he initiates contact or responds, that is when the magic always begins... 8) I personally am keeping myself busy and clicking the delete button when my desire enters my mind.  I feel a lot better. :P

Yes, probably too much!!!!  I really want to be in a relationship!!  I really want to find someone to love and have them love me equally!

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