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Topics - Calm

Pages: 12 3 4
1
Okay - this is crazy.

Had a great night Sunday - even though it wasn't a date :(

Lot of laughing, and we couldn't find his car in the multi-level so we wandered around for 20 minutes - which neither of us minded spending a little extra time together.

And we're supposed to go see another movie tonight. (I don't know if we'll get there and friends will be there since this is usually movie night for a few people).

So why the hell am I feeling anxious and negative and depressed???

Why am I worrying about whether he'll ask me out in a proper date? Or meet someone else?

Just as I managed to Let Go and now that I'm seeing actual movement towards my desire manifesting, I'm going to screw it all up by re-attaching. GAAAH.

At some point, am I going to have to accept that he just isn't interested and doesn't want me?

I've come so far (I think) and I feel like I've hit a dead end.


2
So..the last 2 or 3 days I've figured "yeah...time to throw in the towel...U/G give me some kind of sign that's the wrong or right decision."

So we were setting up for service today, and I asked our worship leader "So..what are we singing today?"

He overheard and thought I said "What are we seeing today?"

And said, "Well, we can go see World's End - I know you want to see that, yeah?"  And then starts talking about going to see it after service.

I let him talk - and said, "oh...okay.  I didn't realise we were going to see anything."

"Wasn't that our plan for today? To go see a movie together?"  I told him what I actually said and he laughed, but said "okay. But we're going, right?"

(No, we did not make plans for today at all.  Hell, YES, we're going...!)

So, he just finished playing basketball and just dropped me home a few minutes ago.  And he's coming back in an hour to pick me up and we're going to see a movie....

Crazy. Completely unexpected. Surprised beyond belief.

I didn't even have to SAY anything.

Oh, and since I told him we could go see "his" movie today, we also made plans to go see "my" movie on Tuesday. :)


3
Attracting Perfect Soul-mate/ Love/ Specific Person / Question...
« on: August 23, 2013, 09:59:20 PM »
For those who completely let their desire go, at what point did you throw your hands in the air and say to yourself - this isn't happening, I'm walking away.

And I'm not talking about detaching or letting go - I mean walking away .

I ask because, after a brief conversation with my mother last night, she bought up the fact that, since he dated that girl that means he's not shy about asking out a woman he's interested in and, yet, nothing has happened between us.
And a part of me knows this is true - that if a man is interested he'll ask you out and find reasons to spend time with you.  (On Sunday, I had invited him to come to a movie with me and one of our mutual friends. He said "yeah, probably." By the time they were finished playing basketball he'd changed his mind.)

Then she gave me the usual lecture about plenty of other fish in the sea blah blah blah.

Anyway - at what point do you say "screw it." ?


4
But he didn't even acknowledge her - he hung around me instead, even standing next to me while I was talking to other people, and then coming back if he walked off to say "hi" to someone else.

I had to work again today, so we're having lunch and seeing a movie next Sunday after service.

Also....his best friend came to church today - because my Love was leading Service, and speaking.  I introduced myself and, after he said something, I joked that I "wasn't from around here."

He said, "Australian, right?"

I'm getting these weird butterflies in my stomach like what I want is right around the corner.

5
Eh hm. Soooo.....

I had to cancel today. Well, actually I cancelled on him last night via Facebook message, but he didn't read it. D'oh.

Before I told him this morning, he was walking out of the hall where we have Service. 

I said, "Are you going to Starbucks?"

"Yeah. You want to come with me?"

(Yes  ::) lol)

So we just ended up walking to SB and having another long conversation and I then told him I couldn't make it (I have a work project I'm behind on and it's due tomorrow  >:( )

I ended up hanging around to watch him play basketball anyway, since my ride home ended up playing too.

ANYWAYS - we already have plans to grab lunch next Sunday - and we've already decided which movie is "our" movie to see when it comes out in the next couple of weeks.

Oh. And we sat next to each other in Service today.

So even though today didn't go down the way it was meant to (and it was my fault lol) I'm a pretty happy girl, I got to say   :)

6
So I told you all that we didn't go see the movie last week because he was gone for most of it?

Well, he went and saw it.

He said he was arguing with himself about whether to go without me.

Aww :/

Then he said but I'll see again - for you.

Huh?

"Or we can go see Wolverine instead'

Ugh. I hate Wolverine.

"Oh good. Me too. But I'd go see it with you if you wanted."

SO he's going to sit through Pacific Rim again - for me.

HOWEVER - one of us, or both are busy every night this week.

So the plan is next Sunday I'll go with him to watch him play basketball, then we're grabbing lunch and then we'll go see a movie.

And, given how shy he is, I said who else did he want to invite so that he wasn't uncomfortable.

He smiled at me and said, "No one. Just you and me is fine."

So we aren't just seeing a movie - we will be hanging together - alone - ALL FREAKING DAY AND NIGHT  next Sunday!

So trying to NOT get overly excited but GEEZ!!

 :o



7
Attracting Perfect Soul-mate/ Love/ Specific Person / So...
« on: July 09, 2013, 10:19:48 AM »
......

Eh hm.

Bible group tonight. He and I were in a 3-person prayer/discussion and...

Apparently...

HE DUMPED HER.

It had nothing to do with me. It was a decision he made for whatever reasons.

After we prayed, I told him and the other guy we should hang out - other friend said "yeah. Coffee on Sunday after service?"

B. turned to me and said "Pacific Rim? You want to go see it?"

Sigh :o ;D


8
Attracting Perfect Soul-mate/ Love/ Specific Person / Okay
« on: July 04, 2013, 01:47:41 AM »
So I've decided I'm going to write a "Soulmate" list, and find this guy - whoever the heck he is.

Where the hell are you, honey?


Anyway - not sure how to go about this.

What/How does everyone else do their Soulmate list?

9
So, yeah...bible study group again tonight.

More of a social, eat-and-hang-out kind of night.  Just 7 or so of us.

We ended up sitting next to each other on the sofa and there were a few times when he leaned into me or close to me when our friends' kids were trying to play a game on his phone.  He told them "Wow, this is a hard game - get (me) to see if she can play too," and as I leaned in just over his lap to see what they were playing, he leaned over towards me so we were...well, I guess our upper bodies were in fairly obvious contact.

I remember just sitting there watching him and, even though he's looking sexier than ever, I thought to myself "Gah, I adore you.  We would have been great together."  I think I've become, or am becoming, resigned to it never happening.

AND I also know that in a couple of weeks I won't see him again.  She'll be back from her overseas excursion and that'll be that, because as "resigned" as I may be, I still don't want to have to be around that.

She posted a photograph of herself on her FB page a couple of days ago.  I'm still stunned.  STUNNED that that is what this handsome, lovely man has picked to be with.

<shrugs & shakes head>  Oh well.

10
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / Done.
« on: June 21, 2013, 06:31:12 AM »
So...I'm done. 

I adore him but I'm tired of being the stupid girl nobody is interested in.

I realised today that I'm waiting for nothing.

The fact is : if he was interested, he'd have made an effort -and done something about it - like he obviously did with her.  This long-winded, boring little girl who loves talking about herself. That's obviously who he wants, so be it.

I'm kidding myself and have been wasting my time fooling myself.

And it's not because anything's happened - it's because NOTHING'S happened.

And because she'll be back in a month and I'll just have to go through all this heartache again.

 I wish I could be an adult about it and say, 'we'll be friends,' but no, I won't be able to be that.

11
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / Update.
« on: June 17, 2013, 08:26:35 AM »
So...

I was a little...perplexed when he didn't return my text. As some of you know.

This morning as we were setting up at service this morning, I said, "So..did you get my text or what?"

"Yep."
"I see..."
"I mean I saw that you texted, but I also saw that you had mentioned Zack Snyder so I thought there might be spoilers in it, so I didn't open your text to read or reply."
"Of COURSE I didn't text any spoilers."
"But I went and saw it that night anyway..."
"What?? We were supposed to see it together...shit-head"  :'(
"Wait! I thought...Weren't you - you were going to see it with the group, and then I was going to see it when I could - and THEN we were going to see it a second time TOGETHER. Wasn't that what we agreed??"
"No.."
"Oh. Well, we're still going to see it.  This week isn't going to be probably be great - work is going to kick my butt - but the weekend or early the following week.

Oh.

Okay.

 :o :P ;D

12
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / My Second Update....
« on: June 11, 2013, 12:10:45 PM »
(None of this "script" will make any sense to anyone unless they're up with my story, I guess.  So I apologize to those who read this and think, "Eh. What?" lol)

Okay  :D

So yesterday he didn't come to Service.  He had family obligations.  Had a lovely time at church anyway and asked a friend if she wanted to go grab lunch afterwards.  We used to be roommates and haven't really hung out since, though we were really close.  I've been wanting to have her back in my life and be close friends like we used to be.

After lunch, we went for a walk to a store and then went our separate ways.   As she was leaving, she said, "I'm so happy to have you back in my life."

SO that was a lovely manifestation - that she was basically on the same page as I am as far as our friendship is concerned.  That small comment by her made me unbelievably happy.  :)

Anyhoo - I didn't give My Love too much thought yesterday, except that I figured I'd see him tonight at Bible Group - but didn't think about that too much either.

So time for Group arrives tonight and I have completely let go of any expectation of having any sort of meaningful communication or conversation with him at all.

He led our group tonight and we sat next to each other but, eh, nothing.  No eye contact, no 'hi', nada.

After group ended, he hang around for a few minutes then picked up his bag and his body language told me he was getting ready to take off.

"Oh well." I thought to myself. "That's okay..."

Then I casually said, "Hey - how come you're not coming to the midnight Superman screening with us? I figured you'd be first in line."

He said, "Oh I really wanted to, but I promised I'd puppy-sit for my parents who were going out of town.  By the time they changed their plans, it was too late to get a ticket.  But I'll see it some time..."

So he then settles back into his chair and we talk a mile-a-minute about Man of Steel and Henry Cavill and how neither of us really liked The Tudors

We keep talking - and he ends up staying for another hour.

Then, without even thinking about it or second-guessing, I say, "Well, I'll buzz you after the screening and, if it's good, I have no doubt I'll see a second time - and we'll go together."

"Yeah! That'd be great. Let's do it!"

"I'm serious haha"

"Me too."

I didn't realise that another friend had sat down next to me and he said, "Are you guys talking about Man of Steel?"

I said, "Yep, I just told (My Love) that I'll go see it a second time with him..."

Friend: "I'll see it a second time with you guys, too."

Me: "Cool." ( >:() lol
My Love: "Yeah. Sure."

We keep standing there, still talking -  he's still not leaving.

The he says :

"You look great, by the way."

"Pardon?!?"


"You look great.  You look thin and fit and healthy.  You're looking fine..."

"Oh wow. Thanks. I mean it's always nice to hear, because you can never really tell."

"Yeah. I mean I haven't seen you in so long..."

"I saw you last week..."

"Yeah? Oh yeah! But, apart from that..and the time I saw you on the street, it's been ...a long time, since we've really seen each other."


(I'm trying not to read too much into the fact that he didn't seem to recall seeing me last Sunday.......)

He then proceeds to ask me what I'm doing to look so great, am I still running? What else am I doing?

So we talk about running and diet, etc for the next 15 minutes.

Eventually, he and our friend make a move to the front door and, as he's walking down the stairs, I joke, "I'm totally buzzing you about seeing Man of Steel together haha."

"Yes, totally - looking forward to it.  Talk to you then!"

And that ladies & gents while is my update.

Again, like my first update, not a huge deal.  It's not like he asked me out on a date or anything. But..it just made me happy and I wanted to share it.

 :-*

13
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / Yep.
« on: June 08, 2013, 06:21:02 AM »
"Everyone's love story is special - but ours is my favourite..."

14
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / WHOA.
« on: June 04, 2013, 11:54:39 AM »
Manifestation Realisation?

A few minutes ago, I was thinking about when I first came to the forum and I remembered that I had written up a Gratitude List.

The main thing I had written on my Gratitude List was that I was grateful for My Love initiating contact with me and telling me he'd missed me, and that this would happen before the end of May.

So, yesterday, when he was telling me that he'd seen me walking down the street and he'd tried to get my attention - and then he stood there and said, "Well, it was really, really good seeing you that day..."

He said it was about a week ago.  It's JUNE 3RD TODAY.  So..this happened....BEFORE THE END OF MAY.

 :o

I'm thinking this was a manifestation - of some sort.  Sure, it didn't happen EXACTLY how I'd written it down - but he tried to initiate contact me - and I'd like to think that "it was good to see that day" is fairly similar to "I've missed you." (okay - but you know...), and manifestations don't always take place exactly how we expect them.  :-\

So...I'mma thinkin' I'mma take this one!  :D


15
Law of Attraction for Ex-Back / Update :)
« on: June 03, 2013, 04:11:17 AM »
So…MY First Update! 

Just FYI – nothing really happened, so not a big deal but still, pretty happy I can give any kind of update at all lol.

This week has seen me slowly getting back into hanging out with my church friends.  Just 2 or 3 gatherings – the Memorial Day BBQ, then Friday Girls Night and then 3 of us went to another buddy’s farewell bbq last night.

So this morning, I decide “Alright, I’m going to Service today.”  And I did.  Honestly, I miss my friends – and they miss me.

I went to run a church errand with someone and, by the time we got back, he had arrived.  The wife-half of our mutual couple-friends was happy to see me and as we hugged and chatted, I could see him standing just a few people over, watching me and straightening up his posture.  After a couple of minutes, he squeezed past me to get into the main room.  Never said anything, never made eye contact as he walked past. Nothing.  My first thought, “Oh. Boy…” Then I thought, “Nope.  You’re not here for him. You’re here for you and your friends.  Think nothing of it. It’s all good.”

Our friend and I decided to sit together and she said, “let’s go grab those seats next to B (my Love).”  As we head over, some guy takes one of the seats, so we end up sitting behind him.  After a few minutes, he turns and does a “oh HEY!” as though it’s the first time he’s seen me that morning.

During a break in service, I head to the coffee machine.  I’m not sure how or when, but before I realized it he was standing next to me, smiling:

Him:  “Hey. Long time. How you been?”  Good, thanks, you? “Great….”

Pause

Him:  “So I saw you – I’m pretty sure I saw you in Culver City.  Was it you? Maybe it wasn’t you?"
Um. I don’t know. Where?
Him:  “Intersection of blah-blah and such-and-such.  You were walking down blah-blah Street and had headphones in…” (physical demonstration of putting headphones on…)
Yep. Definitely me!
Him: “Yeah! I knew it was you.  I was waving my arms and calling your name and trying to get your attention but…those headphones….”

This conversation goes on for five minutes, and we joke that I didn’t see him because I wasn’t wearing my glasses – and he thought ‘if it’s not her, I’m waving at a stranger like an idiot’ because he wasn’t wearing his either…etc, etc.

Then he says, “Well, in that case, it was so good seeing you…”
I’m thinking does he mean..like this morning? I said, “yeah…”
He says: “Last week. It was really good to see you then, even if it was just walking down the street and you didn’t see me waving like a mad man.”

Then….

I walk away to say hi to someone else…

Oh, yeah ladies & gents – I’m an idiot.

However, about five minutes later we find ourselves in another conversation.  I ask about his work (he works in television and never knows if he has a job from one season to the next).  He says there’s a possibility of him working on this side of the Valley. I tell him that’s great, because then he can get a place closer to the rest of us and we’d all be pretty happy about that.  Then I ask about two of our other friends who want to move back to the Westside and he says “Oh I’d be so happy and down with getting a 3-bedroom place with those guys.  I absolutely will move to the Westside if the job thing happens.”

Today marked probably two of the most animated, happy-to-see-you conversations we’ve ever had.

Then I realize his sister and her boyfriend have turned up.  Which is a miracle.  I know he’s trying to build a relationship with this guy, because he and his sister are very close – and it’s been difficult for him.

BUT her boyfriend really likes me (in a friendly way) and we always hug and chat when we see each other.  Which means nothing, but is good.

And that was about it.

I had a thought that if I saw him today, I might realize he doesn’t mean as much as I thought he did.  Three months is a long time – maybe it was a proximity crush?  But no…I’m madly in love with the man.  But I think I did well today. 

As I said nothing really happened and it wasn’t a big deal.  But it was nice.

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