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Topics - luckygirl

Hi guys,

Just thought I would pay things forward and write my success story here. Honestly, it's so weird after I spent many months scrolling through these boards and every "ex-back" thing I could find, and now I can be the one who finally gets to write a story!

Ok, I don't know where to even begin. Basically, literally almost a year ago, me and my bf had a huge fight and he walked out on me. I was devastated to say the least. I was just a complete wreck. I stopped eating, and was majorly depressed.

I rediscovered the law of attraction and was trying out this and that, but it was all kind of in vain - as I was just sort of living my life to get him back. I kept reading the same cliched things and success stories in how to get them back - "It's when you're feeling good, they return," or "when I let go he came back" etc.

I was definitely not in a state of letting go.. for MONTHS. So many people were like, "he doesn't love you - you just need to let it go," or "he's never coming back to you." He even got in a relationship with someone else at one point... I was devastated.

Anyhow, fast forward to around 2.5 months ago, I was just fed up with the whole situation - how foolish I'd been basing my life and decisions towards someone who couldn't care less about me. I started watching a lady on YouTube called Agnes Vivarelli. A lot of her stuff is about self-love. Of course, I would have been reading a lot about the whole "you have to love yourself, before anyone can love you" thing many months earlier - but I just kept passing it off as a cliche etc. Honestly, for many months I was simply too broken anyway to properly implement genuine self-love practices.

But yeah, this time, something just shifted in me - where I realised he's most likely not coming back. It wasn't as though I gave up loving him and stuff - he was still there in my thoughts, but it was just like I made this conscious shift that I have to really start focusing my energy into me. Not him, not the people surrounding him, and also not any stories associated with him. I made a conscious effort to also not talk about him anymore to anyone. I did have the occasional slip up, but I would mostly restrain myself if I spoke with mutual friends.

A lot of Agnes' videos were on the subject of "everyone is you pushed out," so I learnt that I just had to be more loving to myself, to those around me, and even if I could find it in my heart - to people who had wronged me. I was learning to be strong again, and just try and look for the positives in any situation. I was learning to calm down with being too reactive to situations. I joined Tinder lol, trying to find a date, I almost met one guy that I didn't really want to meet, just for the sake of it - but I felt in my gut, I was just doing all of that out of neediness, and I ended up deleting the app. The time I spent chatting to randoms who I wasn't interested in could be better used by doing things such as brushing up on my skills and getting more involved in the things I already had going for me.

Anyway.. He returned!! He'd seen a vid of me on fb, and I got a message from him one day out of the blue - and funnily enough, I had just been watching one of Veronica Isles videos that morning on "how to get a text." I had pushed myself to do something that morning, and I'd had a good day, and was "feeling good," and when I wasn't expecting it, he messaged me. And I just knew that he was on his way back!! And, I remembered from all my months of research lol, that if I wanted any progress with this, that I would just need to respond in a light-hearted manner - like we are just "friends." So I did that, with a small touch of flirtiness, and we continued to message for a few days like crazy. Was just like catching up on a year's worth of no contact. Even the day after he first messaged, I was starting to get that needy feeling of, "why hasn't he texted" and I just remembered that I need to stop trying to control situations, and continued on with what I was doing, while listening to some feel-good music, and literally seconds later I got a message from him!

So we met, like 3 days after messaging, and he said he WANTED TO COME BACK TO ME. It happened. It finally happened! Honestly, it's cliched, but I was quite subdued by then - meaning, because I had now this new take on things, i.e. I wasn't the same desperado, I was happy inside of course, but at the same time I was also quite casual about the situation, it was like I knew it was going to happen anyway. I even waited a few days to give my answer back - not out of playing games, just more that I didn't have to rush. It just feels like now it was yesterday we broke up. I mean, it's like that whole year didn't even happen, when you come back together.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this for all of you who are in my position of how I was a year ago, and even for many many months following. He said all of the worst things to me (I don't love you/I will never come back to you/I have no feelings for you), but just look at how it's true that none of that matters in the outcome.

Sorry for the essay, and all the best to everyone :)
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