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Author Topic: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back  (Read 808 times)

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Offline new_believer

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I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« on: February 13, 2018, 12:41:16 PM »
My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and I'm dying on the inside without her. We had a beautiful yet tumultuous relationship at the same time for two years and four months before she called it quits on me. When the relationship began, she was apprehensive and non-committal. She warmed up to the idea of us after some time and seemed more settled as time went by. We had our fair share of problems all through but she kept breaking up with me after every few months. First it was because of fighting too much then it progressed and she claimed we were incompatible. Needless to say, I was clingy and she also said she felt suffocated by being with me. Every time she would break up with me for one reason or the other, I always went for her and convinced her to come back to me. She got used to it and it became a habit. She has a princess-like attitude which I could not tolerate and I always felt like she was proud, arrogant and had a major superiority complex. She was often rude to me, she berated and belittled me. She even called me a man-child at one time. The relationship became worse we got into our second year and the disrespect increased from both me and her. She had problems with enjoying sex because of her past. Our relationship became emotionally abusive and escalated to the point where we even had physical fights!! I am not proud of hitting her and neither is she. Before she pulled the plug, she told me that she felt suffocated, she wanted to give me time to grow, she wants to find herself and is feeling lost in the relationship, she is hoping we can date again in the future after finding ourselves. She said I have low self esteem and I need to love myself before I can love anyone else among many other reasons. She offered to be friends with me but I declined because I love her and I cannot see her as just a friend.

I love her, I miss her and I want your help guys. I am praying that we both change our selfish ways in order to be with each other. She also said that she heard God telling her to let me go so that he can work on me. She then said that she made a bargain with God to have me back once he is done with me. I think that is ridiculous and that she was never committed to me fully and that she was always looking for reasons to leave the relationship from the beginning. Bottom line, I have not contacted her since except for once where i asked her to come back to me. She asked for space and time and told me to move on and that we may meet in the future and rekindle our love. I think she is full of b.s and wants to try her luck with other guys out there and is just using me as a backup. Can this relationship work? Is it too tumultuous? How can I get her back for good!

PS: She was a virgin when I met her. I'm 25, she just turned 24.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 01:08:05 PM by new_believer »

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2018, 01:01:30 PM »
I'm sorry to rain on your parade but you've just described the relationship from hell. Could you ask yourself why you want to be with a person like that? And I don't mean things like the heart wants what the heart wants, or "but I love her!!!" Just analyse in a detached manner why you want someone like this. What are your true reasons for wanting to be in a toxic relationship and not a mutually happy one?
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 01:03:31 PM by siamesegirl »

Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2018, 01:11:24 PM »

You're probably right. There's no use hanging on to this relationship. It takes two to tango. 
« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 08:06:59 PM by new_believer »

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2018, 12:44:26 AM »
Superman what do you think?

Offline Superman

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2018, 01:11:42 AM »

Superman what do you think?

I think that he loves her but I dont think she loves him. It feels like with time she took him for granted and is now just her ego toy.
My advice to this man is to refocus on him and leave this girl alone. Otherwise he just makes her feel powerful and "above" him. It makes him even less respectable in her eyes...
In a love relationship you should never be the one who accepts and forgives everything... dont be a doormat. You should be a REAL MAN even with a "princess".
A true princess is very respectfull and caring. Not bitchy....

So yeah work on yourself. Know what you are and your worth. No need to focus on her. Once you change everything changes.

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Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2018, 02:32:23 PM »

Superman what do you think?

I think that he loves her but I dont think she loves him. It feels like with time she took him for granted and is now just her ego toy.
My advice to this man is to refocus on him and leave this girl alone. Otherwise he just makes her feel powerful and "above" him. It makes him even less respectable in her eyes...
In a love relationship you should never be the one who accepts and forgives everything... dont be a doormat. You should be a REAL MAN even with a "princess".
A true princess is very respectfull and caring. Not bitchy....

So yeah work on yourself. Know what you are and your worth. No need to focus on her. Once you change everything changes.

Superman what do you think?

I think that he loves her but I dont think she loves him. It feels like with time she took him for granted and is now just her ego toy.
My advice to this man is to refocus on him and leave this girl alone. Otherwise he just makes her feel powerful and "above" him. It makes him even less respectable in her eyes...
In a love relationship you should never be the one who accepts and forgives everything... dont be a doormat. You should be a REAL MAN even with a "princess".
A true princess is very respectfull and caring. Not bitchy....

So yeah work on yourself. Know what you are and your worth. No need to focus on her. Once you change everything changes.

Thank you superman. Makes sense. What bewilders me is the fact that that woman could stay with me for that long, watch me fall in love, tells me she loves me back and then call it quits on me when life's troubles began. Is there even a remote chance that I might get her back? In your opinion, can I salvage us, the respect, possibly remind her of the love she had for me? Good times perhaps? I know how I sound right now. I was all in and i'm devastated by her leaving me.

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2018, 03:23:54 PM »
Could it be that the drama of this relationship is what you're addicted/attracted to? If all you have had is a high drama time, this may seem the norm to you.

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Offline yesican

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2018, 04:33:59 PM »
I am praying that we both change our selfish ways in order to be with each other

Change is within you first.... than your outer experience changes.... 
Generally,relationships give us the chance to develop and learn about ourselves. she will go through her own processes in her own tempo, since she has her issues and you have yours.
LOA is not a trick or some magic you apply to get what you want. Actually, it can be pretty challenging to consciously change within.

Can this relationship work?

first relationship is with yourself....

Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2018, 04:38:10 PM »
Could it be that the drama of this relationship is what you're addicted/attracted to? If all you have had is a high drama time, this may seem the norm to you.

I hate drama with a passion. I would be better off without it but then again Maybe it is the reason. I'm not really sure. What I'm sure of is that I love this girl and I was very serious about her. I have never felt emotional pain of this magnitude before in my life. She keeps posting on her instagram and it seems that she's moving on pretty fine without me. She looks happy and free but then again, that is what social media is meant to make things look.

Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2018, 04:41:39 PM »
I am praying that we both change our selfish ways in order to be with each other

Change is within you first.... than your outer experience changes.... 
Generally,relationships give us the chance to develop and learn about ourselves. she will go through her own processes in her own tempo, since she has her issues and you have yours.
LOA is not a trick or some magic you apply to get what you want. Actually, it can be pretty challenging to consciously change within.

How do I do that Yesican? Change within to the point that I affect my outer experiences? It all seems so foreign to me. Haven't I been doing that already? Enlighten me...
« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 05:01:06 PM by new_believer »

Offline sparklingstar

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2018, 06:09:17 PM »
I am praying that we both change our selfish ways in order to be with each other

Change is within you first.... than your outer experience changes.... 
Generally,relationships give us the chance to develop and learn about ourselves. she will go through her own processes in her own tempo, since she has her issues and you have yours.
LOA is not a trick or some magic you apply to get what you want. Actually, it can be pretty challenging to consciously change within.

How do I do that Yesican? Change within to the point that I affect my outer experiences? It all seems so foreign to me. Haven't I been doing that already? Enlighten me...


Watch her videos and you will understand many stuff:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCf0L-tjSxf6IuHV_1s_r9vA/videos

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Offline yesican

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2018, 06:18:32 PM »

1  You exist.   (I AM) 
2  Everything is Here/Now.
3  The All is one, and the One is all. 
4  What you put out is what you get back. 
5  The only constant in the universe is change -   
     except for the first 4 postulates, which never change.




1  You exist.   (I AM)
 If you exist now, your existence is eternal:
 You have always existed and you always will exist.  You may change form,
 but you are existing always .   So.....relax.....you'll be around forever.

2  Everything is Here/Now. 
 Time and Space are illusions.   (But your experiences within Time/Space are "real".)
 There is only Here/Now.

3  The All is one, and the One is all. 
 Just as each tiny section of a hologram contains the information for the entire
 hologram, likewise we are all inter-connected.   
 Everything is truly just one totally-interconnected "thing".

4  What you put out is what you get back. 
 The "outside" is a reflection of the "inside".
 Physical reality is actually a mirror: 
 Your physical reality is just a holographic reflection of
 what you most strongly believe to be true.    And like a mirror, physical reality
 will not change unless you change first (change what you most strongly believe).

5  The only constant in the universe is change -   
except for the first 4 postulates, which never change.
 So.....might as well get used to eternally-changing Creation.
 Enjoy the ride!   Surf the changes!

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Offline sparklingstar

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2018, 06:23:07 PM »
The LOA should mostly be called the Law of Projection. What you project out there you get. You have to adjust your beliefs and your thoughts for yourself and her in order to get a succesful relationship.
Watch the videos I sent and what yesican says is to the point.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 06:26:12 PM by sparklingstar »

Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2018, 07:00:02 PM »

1  You exist.   (I AM) 
2  Everything is Here/Now.
3  The All is one, and the One is all. 
4  What you put out is what you get back. 
5  The only constant in the universe is change -   
     except for the first 4 postulates, which never change.




1  You exist.   (I AM)
 If you exist now, your existence is eternal:
 You have always existed and you always will exist.  You may change form,
 but you are existing always .   So.....relax.....you'll be around forever.

2  Everything is Here/Now. 
 Time and Space are illusions.   (But your experiences within Time/Space are "real".)
 There is only Here/Now.

3  The All is one, and the One is all. 
 Just as each tiny section of a hologram contains the information for the entire
 hologram, likewise we are all inter-connected.   
 Everything is truly just one totally-interconnected "thing".

4  What you put out is what you get back. 
 The "outside" is a reflection of the "inside".
 Physical reality is actually a mirror: 
 Your physical reality is just a holographic reflection of
 what you most strongly believe to be true.    And like a mirror, physical reality
 will not change unless you change first (change what you most strongly believe).

5  The only constant in the universe is change -   
except for the first 4 postulates, which never change.
 So.....might as well get used to eternally-changing Creation.
 Enjoy the ride!   Surf the changes!


Wow. Alright, i'm catching on. I need to understand that my happiness should not depend on a single person in the world. It's all about me and looking internally to find myself and what i'm about in order to be with another person successfully. It's about self love right? I don't love myself that much. I'm a firstborn and I've lived most of my life for other people always caring how I look to them and what they think.

Offline new_believer

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Re: I Love my ex girlfriend and I want her back
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2018, 07:09:06 PM »
The LOA should mostly be called the Law of Projection. What you project out there you get. You have to adjust your beliefs and your thoughts for yourself and her in order to get a succesful relationship.
Watch the videos I sent and what yesican says is to the point.

I see. Right now I project a pitiful person in a pitiful state. Which is why she kept running from me. Adjusting one's thoughts is really hard. Can removing myself from my current toxic environment help? I'll watch the videos on the link then give you feedback. Has she affected my self esteem negatively as well or is that my fault also because of projection?

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