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Author Topic: What to change to get in a relationship?  (Read 345 times)

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Offline Racine

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What to change to get in a relationship?
« on: April 14, 2018, 01:06:07 PM »
I'm over 20 and I have never been in a relationship so far. I suppose I've been already in love with (or at least attracted to) a couple of boys counting my pre-teen and high school years, but nothing had really happened. Neeedless to say, I've never been kissed and while it had never been something I worried about too much, the time has arrived and I feel like I do indeed need someone.

My family isn't too religious but I still believe the way I used to think about relationships is somewhat related to my family backround. My brothers started dating in their 20s amd they were pretty successfull: now they're in their early 30s and have their wives and one of them even a baby.
So, I'd been thinking not to hurry and not to "waste" my teen years on "love dramas" and I was convinced that at some point I would meet a boy who is just perfect and we get married and live our lives forever...  :D
But this doesn't seem to happen. What's more, what's happening is exactly the opposite.
I'm a uni student and I like a boy but things get so complicated and I remember, these are all the same things repeated again and again that I was facing during high school and even when I wasn't trying at all. Always the same scenario.

I've given up, I've been focusing on completely different aspects of my life but nothing. I start to beleive that I'll remain a virgin forever in my life and will become an old lady with cats.  >:(

I barely have expectations anymore. I don't plan in ahaed like I used to. I just want a boyfriend for doesn't matter how long... just to get experienced at least.

What should I change? It feels like something is holding me back but I don't know what.

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Offline JulieDB

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Re: What to change to get in a relationship?
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2018, 04:29:46 PM »
Simple. Love and accept yourself.

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Offline Kashish

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Re: What to change to get in a relationship?
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2018, 05:05:59 PM »
I'm over 20 and I have never been in a relationship so far. I suppose I've been already in love with (or at least attracted to) a couple of boys counting my pre-teen and high school years, but nothing had really happened. Neeedless to say, I've never been kissed and while it had never been something I worried about too much, the time has arrived and I feel like I do indeed need someone.

My family isn't too religious but I still believe the way I used to think about relationships is somewhat related to my family backround. My brothers started dating in their 20s amd they were pretty successfull: now they're in their early 30s and have their wives and one of them even a baby.
So, I'd been thinking not to hurry and not to "waste" my teen years on "love dramas" and I was convinced that at some point I would meet a boy who is just perfect and we get married and live our lives forever...  :D
But this doesn't seem to happen. What's more, what's happening is exactly the opposite.
I'm a uni student and I like a boy but things get so complicated and I remember, these are all the same things repeated again and again that I was facing during high school and even when I wasn't trying at all. Always the same scenario.

I've given up, I've been focusing on completely different aspects of my life but nothing. I start to beleive that I'll remain a virgin forever in my life and will become an old lady with cats.  >:(

I barely have expectations anymore. I don't plan in ahaed like I used to. I just want a boyfriend for doesn't matter how long... just to get experienced at least.

What should I change? It feels like something is holding me back but I don't know what.

when I read this I felt positive vibes all over and seems like synchronicity with my own situation . I am nearing 30s and I was on verge of anxiousness that i would likely end up an old lady with cats as you spelt it out hahaha. You are young and so much to experience in terms of life experience (You have more positive outlook than i had in my 20s)

This is not what i feel anymore. I am more confident abt myself than i was before. As Julie said above love and accept yourself. This is so important and best advise anyone can give (Judging from your post you are already doing that)



Quote
and I feel like I do indeed need someone
This was so much in my mind last year that i had to change my perception and mindset. Never think your life is moving no where and you are stuck or you need someone to complete your life. This is what societal pressure and peer pressure is like  , never bother abt others and go at your own pace. Keep yourself on pedestal


If i may suggest you some method,

1. Try to manifest male friends.

   Start with friendship . You are young and inexperienced so start from genuine friendship with males. Once you get to know them who knows it might go further like relationship. I have more male friends than female and it has really helped me change my outlook towards them.


2. Act as if
    act as if you are already in relationship with your ideal man. This i tried out and there has been good response.
   
3. Make a vision board of you with your love . This would be helpful in manifesting and raising your vibes
4. Read neville Goddard stories of manifesting love , huge resources on secret website how ppl find love .
5. Affirmations .  Do affirmations like " I am in now in loving relationship with X (insert someone you like) " "i am now in loving relationship with a wonderful and amazing guy" . Be playful with law of attraction.


Be happy



all the best ! xoxo
« Last Edit: April 14, 2018, 05:34:26 PM by Kashish »

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Offline yesican

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Re: What to change to get in a relationship?
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2018, 05:41:00 PM »
So, I'd been thinking not to hurry and not to "waste" my teen years on "love dramas

experience is never a waste of time. We are all constantly learning. I had so much fun in my teen years. falling in love for the first time, dreaming, trying things out... you learn al lot about yourself. This is just development. I wouldn't want to miss one experience

I was convinced that at some point I would meet a boy who is just perfect and we get married and live our lives forever..

well, People are different.... being married to my first love would have been a disaster :D... we were in love but after 4 years we just realised it does not fit anymore. we moved in different directions...but we had very much fun! 
You need to give yourself the freedom to learn, develop, change. What is perfect for you now, does not need to be perfect in 20 years. Learning by doing: there is a learning curve also in relationships...
There is no need to fix something. Be playful. Go out, have fun, experience flirting, learn to be self-confident with men. It is fun (no, I am not talking about casual sex here!) ;)
Love is not a serious thing, neither is relationship. But when you put pressure on yourself, that it has to last forever or that you have to fit in some predetermined plan: Forget it. You are making things way to complicated for you.

It feels like something is holding me back but I don't know what.

the old story... only you know.   What fears do you have, what definitions on relationship do you have? Do you think you are not good enough, not sexy enough? commitment?
 this is all not true but still real for you. bring it to light and then you can change it...
« Last Edit: April 15, 2018, 11:25:03 AM by yesican »

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Offline Shivaanya

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Re: What to change to get in a relationship?
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2018, 11:48:47 PM »
I believe you should never give up.
As others rightly said, love yourself. Remember no one can love and care for you more than yourself.
Try to be independent and please yourself, even by small gestures. Be happy....search for inner happiness.
I was like you before. I thought i'm not beautiful and had an inferiority complex. Consequently i was never asked out. But i was mistaken. I met a guy who

 

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