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Author Topic: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?  (Read 481 times)

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Offline new_believer

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How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« on: May 21, 2018, 06:45:11 PM »
Hi everyone, I posted on this forum a few months ago wanting to get my ex back. After implementing LoA and visualization, she finally reached out after about a month. It went well for some time but it seems like a cycle as right now she has started bailing on me again. Our old issues are recurring and she is tired as am I. She told me that she no longer has the energy or time to keep fighting for the relationship and that she needs to find her own voice. She says I drain her emotionally and physically. She then broke up with me gain.

I find this cycle very strange and honestly, it hurts me because I feel like I am wasting time, mental, emotional and physical resources. I feel like she can't decide whether she wants to be with me or not and that is very frustrating to undergo all the time. I told her to make a decision about what she wants with me as I still love her and want to be with her. She is obsessed with leaving me to the point that I told her to listen to her gut feeling and if she wants out, she should leave.

I do not know what to do. She is constantly hot and cold and it is driving me insane. She told me that she needs time to figure out her feelings after which she would contact me after a month!! A whole month of N.C. I do not want to let go of this girl because I have a feeling that if I do, I may never want her in my life again whereas I strongly feel and think that she is in love with me but has commitment issues that she is yet to resolve.

What is the best course of action on this? NC? Moving on, letting go, leaving her?

« Last Edit: May 21, 2018, 07:11:35 PM by new_believer »

Offline Gember

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2018, 12:41:17 AM »
Just leave her be. You have no reason to doubt yourself, right? You are the boss of your own life, you are the creator. Just because she’s resisting now doesn’t mean she won’t be there eventually. Let her go and focus on other things (work? School? Friends?)
Best of luck to you!

Offline JulieDB

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2018, 11:18:32 AM »
You already know it's a cycle. When you attract back an ex, all you'll get is more of the same unless one or more likely both people change. No change? Same old, same old.

Remember, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should!

Offline new_believer

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2018, 06:55:51 PM »
Just leave her be. You have no reason to doubt yourself, right? You are the boss of your own life, you are the creator. Just because she’s resisting now doesn’t mean she won’t be there eventually. Let her go and focus on other things (work? School? Friends?)
Best of luck to you!

Thank you Gember. You can't believe how hurtful this is. I have given it all I can and it still didn't work. I'm going to take your advice and focus on other things but it is incredibly hurtful and painful.

Offline new_believer

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2018, 07:13:41 PM »
You already know it's a cycle. When you attract back an ex, all you'll get is more of the same unless one or more likely both people change. No change? Same old, same old.

Remember, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should!
Hi Julie, when she came back to me, I thought she was ready to work with me and take our relationship to the next level but she was just as confused as before, even more actually. She is not to blame for everything but there is just no fight in her anymore. I knew what I was getting myself into and all the risks involved. Keep in mind that there was a chance that it would have succeeded.

I agree with you though. No change = same old, same old. The only difference is that this time, we were actually making progress. Slow but sure progress. It wasn't fast enough for her.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 07:37:20 PM by new_believer »

Offline Gember

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2018, 12:32:33 PM »
Just leave her be. You have no reason to doubt yourself, right? You are the boss of your own life, you are the creator. Just because she’s resisting now doesn’t mean she won’t be there eventually. Let her go and focus on other things (work? School? Friends?)
Best of luck to you!

Thank you Gember. You can't believe how hurtful this is. I have given it all I can and it still didn't work. I'm going to take your advice and focus on other things but it is incredibly hurtful and painful.
I know the feeling, i attracted my ex back, he told me literally everything I ever wanted to hear(You’re the only one for me, you’re the love of my life, etc.) and then 2 weeks later he just left me. But I gave it a few months, because I know we’re meant to be, and now we’re the happiest together. He had to prove himself to me, of course, that he’d changed and all. But now I finally feel confident emough to say I DID succeed in manifesting my ex back, and we are both happy and both putting effort into our relationship!!
Never lose hope! Even if you’re doubting yourself, hope will always be there for you!

Offline new_believer

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2018, 12:54:42 PM »

Quote
I know the feeling, i attracted my ex back, he told me literally everything I ever wanted to hear(You’re the only one for me, you’re the love of my life, etc.) and then 2 weeks later he just left me. But I gave it a few months, because I know we’re meant to be, and now we’re the happiest together. He had to prove himself to me, of course, that he’d changed and all. But now I finally feel confident emough to say I DID succeed in manifesting my ex back, and we are both happy and both putting effort into our relationship!!
Never lose hope! Even if you’re doubting yourself, hope will always be there for you!
Gember, I know we're meant to be. I have hope that we are. I'm not expecting anything forthcoming from her in terms of commitment but I know she will realize how much I mean to her when i disappear from her life for a while. She will have to prove herself to me as well. Congratulations to you and now current. I'm happy
that you're boh putting in effort in the relationship. I wish you guys all the best. How many months did it take for him to reach out to you?

Offline Gember

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2018, 08:27:29 PM »

Quote
Gember, I know we're meant to be. I have hope that we are. I'm not expecting anything forthcoming from her in terms of commitment but I know she will realize how much I mean to her when i disappear from her life for a while. She will have to prove herself to me as well. Congratulations to you and now current. I'm happy
that you're boh putting in effort in the relationship. I wish you guys all the best. How many months did it take for him to reach out to you?

About two months, it wasn’t hard for me because I know my value and I know I’m a good partner and a truly happy and smart person. It may sound cocky, lol, but it is true and I’m conpletely happy just being me. I’d accepted taht we maybe wouldn’t be more than friends when he reached out to me.

Offline new_believer

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2018, 03:07:58 PM »
About two months, it wasn’t hard for me because I know my value and I know I’m a good partner and a truly happy and smart person. It may sound cocky, lol, but it is true and I’m conpletely happy just being me. I’d accepted taht we maybe wouldn’t be more than friends when he reached out to me.

Wow, I like your self confidence. It really is up there. Keep it that way. It's a good thing, believe me. I guess the problem in this case could also be me. I've given her too much power over me. I hope we can work things out. If not, well, life goes on and time will heal.

Offline Gember

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2018, 01:13:02 AM »
About two months, it wasn’t hard for me because I know my value and I know I’m a good partner and a truly happy and smart person. It may sound cocky, lol, but it is true and I’m conpletely happy just being me. I’d accepted taht we maybe wouldn’t be more than friends when he reached out to me.

Wow, I like your self confidence. It really is up there. Keep it that way. It's a good thing, believe me. I guess the problem in this case could also be me. I've given her too much power over me. I hope we can work things out. If not, well, life goes on and time will heal.

Yes! Exactly! To be honest, she’s probably the only one missing out in this situation. If she doesn’t appreciate you and all the love you have to offer, she’ll have a hard time finding a confident partner who accepts being treated like nothing!

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Offline new_believer

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Re: How do I end the cycle? How do I make her stay?
« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2018, 02:23:08 PM »

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Yes! Exactly! To be honest, she’s probably the only one missing out in this situation. If she doesn’t appreciate you and all the love you have to offer, she’ll have a hard time finding a confident partner who accepts being treated like nothing!

Preach Gember! She has not stopped contacting me  over the last week or so. The moment I stop thinking about her is when she suddenly shows up in my life.

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