What to do when thereīs an intense return of negativity?

[Priestess]

Hello, forum fellows!

As some of you know, I was doing quite well a month ago, manifesting many of my wishes... including a summer job abroad that I have now...
Attention, pretty negative post to follow...

To be honest, I have no idea how I attracted what Iīve got now. I was very optimistic and confident about working abroad but, within the first days, I realized things were terrible for me and they wouldnīt change! Hmm, can you believe slavery still exists in the 21st century!? yeah.... Luckily I had one more job option and decided to make the switch. Therefore, I spent more of my money (havenīt earned anything for the 2 weeks spent at the previous job) to move to another city and had a very optimistic mindset... "This time it will be good!" Guess what... I encountered such difficult people, so humiliating, that I didnīt heal from the previous shock, but had a breakdown. I didnīt know why in the world it was happening so...
I always love to be somewhere far from home, but this time I wasnīt finding myself and wanted back home more than ever! I discovered I have so much to appreciate there.... my friends, my family, the places, the mentalities... That was the first thing that made sense, finally. I donīt find another meaning but a lesson to learn to appreciate what i have...

The side effect of all this was that it triggered all bad feelings about the man who left me... July is a critical moment for us and I was planning to be well prepared spiritually, so i can send him good vibes... Unfortunately, I wanted to just cry. I had a dream in which I was violent and hateful towards him. Only if I could... But my situation here (my work, my hosts) was of a such nature that I couldnīt even have a little privacy to shed some tears! at night i was too tired to even think about anything... It felt so bad to me because my boyfriend left me with the feeling that Iīm no good, and these people were telling me the same. No matter what I did, I was never good enough for anybody! imagine what a repeated punch in the face itīs been.....
However... one day, finally, I had more free time with the new job, took a long walk and eventually sat on a bench and drowned in tears. After that discharge I finally began to see life in better colors.... I realize they donīt truly know who I am, that I wasnīt giving 100% and that theyīre from a very different culture and I donīt care what they think about me as long as I get my money. I also started doing EFT again, affirmations and Iīm doing quite fine at the moment. But, you see, my burnout got me worried... I didnīt know I was still so weak!
Now that I feel better, I can pray and be more efficient with my thoughts, sending love to people around me, even to those who upset me. One action supports another and so on. I wonder, still, what can we do when we are so down that nothing seems to work? I was having a very hard time and felt that nothing I was doing previously could affect my mood for the better... only crying my eyes out helped me.... oh, and GRATITUDE.

[tereza]

You're not weak! You made two big moves in such a short time, that'll drain anybody out. Heck, moving to just one new place, even if it's close by, is exhausting! It sounds like you've been through a lot and just haven't had time to be comfortable and take care of yourself.

Also, there's nothing wrong with crying as that's a form of release and removes those negative emotions inside you. I think the best thing you can do when you're feeling down is just accept that you feel that way (indulge it for awhile if you want) and then just reach for the next best feeling you can find.

Anyway, congrats on the new job abroad (it sounds like it'll be a memorable experience) and I hope that it'll get better.