Author Topic: I want to become a ladies man... visualizations? (Read 1530 times)

bronson1111 · « **on:** April 19, 2012, 05:47:22 PM »

Okay, so I attracted a girl that I am interested in, but I am becoming too attached too quickly! I think this is because I have FINALLY attracted a girl that I am interested in and I am afraid of losing her. I have been stressing and overthinking. I don't want to be or come off as needy. I think the best thing I can do is to have multiple women lined up.

It is realistic for me because I am good looking. I apologize if that sounds arrogant, but it's what I have been told my whole life. Anyways, I just need to crack the code for attracting multiple women in my life. I visualized having a beautiful girl every day for a month and I attracted her. Now I want to have multiple girls and the belief that I am a ladies man. I think if I had multiple ladies I would not be so attached to one. They might dilute her "power" over me.

What should I visualize? How do I visualize multiple relationships at once?

Mr Brightside · « **Reply #1 on:** April 19, 2012, 07:56:23 PM »

It’s hard being good looking, but the few of us have to carry the load for the rest I guess. Sometimes I just want to go out and have a few drinks with my friends, but it’s hard when these women are always trying to get my attention. Like come on, give a guy a break, just frustrating sometimes.

irishgirl69 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 19, 2012, 10:08:11 PM »

Stef, thanks for bringing a smile to my face today.

Bronson, if you are sincerely looking for help...I'm not going to help you use women, but I will suggest that you use some of the many tools and resources available on this site to get to the root of why you are obviously afraid of intimacy. And by that, I mean letting someone get close enough to you that they can hurt you. Because it's clear that's what is driving this urge to have multiple women "lined up."

lise · « **Reply #3 on:** April 19, 2012, 10:16:31 PM »

I would look at anything you're doing that may put women off. Remember the guy in the secret who worked with women all the time but wasnt meeting anyone? I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to attract a lot of women as long as you're honest about it especially if you're young, yeah got out there and enjoy yourself and find what it is you're looking for. Maybe attracting lots of women will dilute any fear of losing or being attached to one.

You know this forum has umpteen threads telling people to love themselves and as soon as someone says something that suggests they do rate themselves then they have the piss taken out of them and the suggestion they're afraid of intimacy!

What he said was he became too attached too quickly - again prob 98 percent if peoplel on here are struggling with detachment and in the main it's in the relationship section, anyone who had fully detached would already have everything they want.

mjatte · « **Reply #4 on:** April 25, 2012, 09:37:26 AM »

I am becoming a ladies man as well.

What I have started doing, is visualizing myself having all the love in the world. I tell myself that I am love. I am Joy! I allow myself to feel all the love that the universe has. This way I don't feel needy or desperate, because I know that I will attract all the relationships that I desire. I visualize myself surrounded by positive relationships with many different women. I try to really feel the feeling of acceptance and intimacy.

So yes, visualizing having as many relationships in your life as you desire. But make sure the feeling you bring to the visualization is completely positive. You don't want to visualize conflict, drama, or fear.

In my opinion, you can't be fearful about losing this one girl you mentioned. Instead, visualize having all the love you need, and then if its meant to be, it will happen, and if its not meant to be, you will find someone else even more special.

JohnSilks · « **Reply #5 on:** April 25, 2012, 05:34:12 PM »

I can relate with Bronson, however I think the solution is a bit mixed up.....lol

I am a faithful and honest guy. I want one woman in my life that I don't want to live without, and I'm still looking for her. So I know the feeling of possibly being attached to quickly. Things in the relationship look like everything is falling into place, and I end up feeling that I want to move right into things. And that has caused me to over-analyze things at times.

I think the key is to find a balance between evaluating the status of a relationship and over-analyzing things. It may be difficult to understand that point. Take for example, "Why didn't she call me when she said she was going to call me?" There could be a lot of valid reasons and semi-valid reasons. You first have to consider reasons that you would want to be forgiven for. Maybe something unexpected happened and she was absent minded and didn't think to text you about it. Or maybe she's just not into you. Over-analysis comes when you tend to focus on "maybe she's just not into you."

What I have learned is we first have to trust that the universe (God) is working for our good. Relax and trust. Evaluation over time may reveal that she isn't the one for you. That's good news because you are one step closer to finding your mate, and you can move on.

The early stages of a relationship is about learning about the other person. She isn't going to do things exactly the way you do them or expect them to be done. You need to learn if you can deal with the way she does things. The more you like about her the more you can become attached. Still in time you may find that she isn't the one for you. That's OK. Don't stress about it. Just know that it is all for your good so that you can find your ONE.

The key isn't to line up a woman for each day. The key is to relax. Focus on having fun with her rather than on analyzing the relationship. Do you think she will consider it fun to be constantly analyzed? That's a sure way to run a woman off......trust me, I know.

Don't focus on the what if's. Enjoy the now!

I think I just wrote a post that I'm going to have to reference back to in the future so I can take my own advice....lol

Era · « **Reply #6 on:** April 25, 2012, 08:19:55 PM »

Hi there!!

Many people are asking if the Law of Attraction can actually help them have the kind of partner that they’d want to be with. The answer is yes – but with an exception. When you use the Law of Attraction to attract a great partner who would be willing to be with you through thick or thin, it is not about WHO you want to attract but rather the kind of feeling having a great partner can give you.

The universe knows who the perfect partner for you will be – you don’t. The universe always gives us our desires at the right place and at the right moment. It is not for you to decide who you want to be with, but it is your sole responsibility to attract the person who could give you a great sense of comfort just by being with them.

The universe might have someone else for you who is ten times better a partner than who you were eyeing for. It is just a matter of expanding your perspective and not just basing things upon what you only see on your radar screen.

Ginny · « **Reply #7 on:** April 25, 2012, 10:07:48 PM »

Hi bronson - I can understand wanting to be a ladies man - if I were a man, I'd want that to. Well, either that, or to have a harem

From my experience, the thing that tends to make men very popular with a lot of women (keeping in mind that all women are different and you're never going to find a formula that works for all of them) is to be really really nice and completely unattached. Of course, that strategy could work with just one woman as well

Oddly enough, looks don't seem to come into it so much. They help, but a theoretically great-looking guy can actually start to look unattractive if he seems needy or desperate. Conversely, I used to know a guy who was butt-ugly (we're talking an unattractive butt here) who had women crawling all over him. He didn't do it for me personally, but loads of other women seemed to be nuts about him. And it was just that - he was a nice fellow - interested, engaged, receptive and so on - but completely detached. If a woman liked him, great - if she didn't, plenty of other fish in the sea.

JustForToday · « **Reply #8 on:** April 25, 2012, 10:47:05 PM »

i just want to add that if you want the universe to fulfill your dreams or intends, it should be for the most benevolent outcome for ALL involved and i dont think thats the case here....

Ginny · « **Reply #9 on:** April 25, 2012, 11:13:27 PM »

Well... I think there is a presumption being made that all women want committed exclusive relationships. That isn't necessarily the case.

But certainly yes - the objective should be to have a beneficial outcome for all. It's the only way LOA could work really I think, otherwise you'd just be attracting more bad energy to yourself.

JustForToday · « **Reply #10 on:** April 25, 2012, 11:16:25 PM »

thats what i meant ginny and youre right, not every woman wants a committed relationship.
just thought that it is kinda negative energy, but everyone lives their own lifes

Ginny · « **Reply #11 on:** April 26, 2012, 01:53:37 AM »

Yeah... I think one thing that comes out the OP is that this desire is driven by an element of fear - of getting too attached, of being hurt, of rejection, etc

But, on the other hand, I think it's good to learn ways of not getting attached. I think you can love without becoming dependent, which is probably a better goal (strictly speaking) than being a ladies' man.

Although, if you like the idea of having lots of partners for the fun of it, and it's all mutually beneficial (always risky since the 80s), and it's not driven by fear of pain, then that could work too.

I have to admit, I kind of like the idea of polyamory. In theory. In practise, I'm pretty happy with what I have

(a long term relationship with a devoted partner, who is a pretty wonderful person)

JohnSilks · « **Reply #12 on:** April 26, 2012, 03:20:28 AM »

Quote from: Ginny on April 25, 2012, 10:07:48 PM

From my experience, the thing that tends to make men very popular with a lot of women (keeping in mind that all women are different and you're never going to find a formula that works for all of them) is to be really really nice and completely unattached. Of course, that strategy could work with just one woman as well

Oddly enough, looks don't seem to come into it so much. They help, but a theoretically great-looking guy can actually start to look unattractive if he seems needy or desperate. Conversely, I used to know a guy who was butt-ugly (we're talking an unattractive butt here) who had women crawling all over him. He didn't do it for me personally, but loads of other women seemed to be nuts about him. And it was just that - he was a nice fellow - interested, engaged, receptive and so on - but completely detached. If a woman liked him, great - if she didn't, plenty of other fish in the sea.

Thanks for this, Ginny. Would you mind going into more depth on this? I'm not even sure how to ask the question in my mind, but I'll give it a try.

Let's say a great guy is looking for his soul mate to spend the rest of his life with. He finds a woman that seems to be what he's looking for. Could you paint a picture of detachment in this scenario? How do you be detached when you are falling in love with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with. I do understand not being needy and such. Are you saying to act like you could take her or leave her.....in a nice way? At what point do you throw your heart and soul into it and become attached and still be viewed as desirable (since it was detachment that was attractive)?

I hope you get what I'm asking.

Thanks!

John

Ginny · « **Reply #13 on:** April 26, 2012, 03:36:25 AM »

Gosh - that is a different question to the one I was answering. The answer above is specifically for the "ladies man" question.

"take or leave" sounds harsh. Everyone wants to feel special.

Detachment (or "non-attachment", as I prefer to call it) is more of an ideal than an absolute. But it's about, not letting your happiness depend on one person.

Of course, humans are social animals and we do get attached to one another. But the stronger you can find that core within yourself - that core of strength and happiness that doesn't *need* other people, but can enjoy them, share with them, and grow closer - generally that kind of inner strength and unflappability is quite attractive.

Does that make any more sense?

tereza · « **Reply #14 on:** April 26, 2012, 05:48:01 AM »

Quote from: JohnSilks on April 26, 2012, 03:20:28 AM

Let's say a great guy is looking for his soul mate to spend the rest of his life with. He finds a woman that seems to be what he's looking for. Could you paint a picture of detachment in this scenario? How do you be detached when you are falling in love with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with. I do understand not being needy and such. Are you saying to act like you could take her or leave her.....in a nice way? At what point do you throw your heart and soul into it and become attached and still be viewed as desirable (since it was detachment that was attractive)?

I totally agree with what Ginny wrote, but felt like adding this really crude example for some reason...
Being detached in a scenario like that is kind of like sex. It's awesome, you enjoy it and of course you'll want more. But at some point you've got to get out of bed and get back to life. If you stayed in bed going at it for days on end, well eventually you'll get tired, hungry and you'll probably start to feel some pain. Plus, everything else starts to fall apart. You might lose your job, you might lose some friends and you might miss out on some other fun experiences.

There's more to life than sex and there's more to life than just spending time with one person. You've got to find balance.