EFT ?

[Mergirl]

Hey hope someone can help me with a question.

I understand that EFT is used to deal with emotions but can it work for memory? Or is there anything that can work on dealing with thought. What I mean to say is that I use eft to deal with negative emotions especial on situations such as getting over the anxious or fearful feeling of loosing my boyfriend. I have found it has helped me a lot. When I see or think of him I am quiet calm and stable. Now I am wondering is there a technique (not hypnosis) something simple like eft that can minimise thought of him, because I know I can't complete lose them (unless it was amnesia also its not healthy to erase certain memories as they have a purpose). I just want to be productive with my memory and thoughts and not waste time thinking of something that I can't unfix so I wonder if there is a way to train my brain to think less about him or any memory that is not useful.

Cheers for any feedback

[Elconscious]

EFT is a wonderful medium to manifest a healthier, richer life.

As of now I am determined to become very proficiant with EFT and working with it on several aspects in my own life.

What I came to understand is the importance of being very specific and thorough with certain 'issues'.

With "mergirl", the importance should probably not be on minimising thoughts per se.

...getting over the anxious or fearful feeling of loosing my boyfriend

You may feel that it is beyond your control to not "loosing" someone and if such is the case than one must find ways how to deal with such a possibility.

Ask questions like:
Why do I have this problem?
How do I know I have this problem?
How do I feel about this problem?
What could be a problem for experiencing this problem?

Being anxious, for example may have several aspects and by questioning these you should be able to find out what these are. Attack all of these (sub)aspects one by one with EFT.

It is HOW you think of that person, not the amount of thinking per se.

Perhaps I may be of more help to you or anyone else interested in working with EFT. If so, I might offer personal assistence.

Peace,
Elcon

[vsahker]

Dear Mergirl,

I'd suggest tapping on "Even though I cant let go of him" or "Even though I cant let go of the memories" for a start. Rest assured that you will get over it. Perhaps you might want to keep short notes of what feelings come up on this issue and look for a pattern. If there are no patterns to speak of, you might have to tap on each issue or feeling as it crops up. Some persistence will see you on the road to a full healing, as long as you are willing to be honest and candid with yourself on what you really feel.

At this juncture, a pertinent reminder could well be "So what do I want?" and tap on that.

:-)

[Mergirl]

Thanks for the replies Elconscious and Vsaher.

@Elc... It's defiantly the amount I think of the person then how I think of them. I don't really want to dwell on it but If and when I think of the guy It doesn't cause me any emotions but its rather I just think of him and since he is not in my life I would rather not waste my thoughts on thinking of him or of what we had. I suppose i reminisce but not out of neediness or of missing him. Just recollect certain things.

@Vasher. Thank you. I think I was looking for this set up phrase for tapping "Even though I cant let go of the memories"

[Mergirl]

Um okay I just got a really good example of what I was trying to explain. I think when you use the words boyfriend or ex a whole lot of theories can come about. So my example of letting go of memory is:


Say you were abused by your father when you were younger. Physically, emotionally etc. You were told you were not good enough and made to feel useless. Okay so now that you have grown up you know how to let go of that torment with eft. So you tap on all the emotions of not being good enough, the resentment towards your dad etc and then you come to terms with it all. And so now it no longer harms you especially because your dad is dead so it can never happen again. Tapping has dealt with the emotions to stop you from being effected about any situation where you feel stems from not being good enough because of what your father did. However the emotions are gone but not the memory so if you hear a story about the same thing happening to someone or someone mentions your dad you can recollect the episodes and say for some reason you randomly often think about those days and the emotional pain is gone and so is your dad, so why would you want to waste your time thinking about it? So this is why I ask if there is away to release the memory to to lesson it coming up.


 

[Elconscious]

I don't really want to dwell on it...

Have you already tried:
"Even though I keep dwelling on (X), I choose to deeply and completely accept myself"

"Even though I feel like I am wasting my thoughts on thinking of him or of what we had, I choose to deeply and completely accept myself"

When either of these do not seem effective, you have may have to be more specific. Pick any dwelling thought and work on that specifically. Perceive that 'scene' as a little movie and give it a title. Use that title for your next round, like:

"Even though I keep thinking of [title], I choose to deeply and completely accept myself"

Still, I want to go deeper than that. You say you these dwellings do not cause you any emotions?

But you don't want to waste your thoughts on thinking of him or what you had, right?

How does that make you feel, wasting your thoughts on him like that?

If necessary, ask how you know you feel that way?

"Even though I feel (X) about dwelling on (X), I choose to deeply and completely accept myself"

"Even though I cant let go of the memories"

This may work fine and when it does not I bet it is because you are trying to collapse the "tabletop" without dealing with its "tablelegs" first.

Again, being specific should be the key here.

Pick a specific memory and deal with those, one by one.

Peace and love,
Elcon

[Mergirl]

Thanks El. I will try those phrases. They sound like they will help.


FYI- When I said I don't want to dwell on it I was referring to the previous sentence about the how not about the guy himself.

[Shreeya]

Hi All.....
If i want to attract a perfect person in my life as a soul-mate or life-partner, what statement should I use while tapping?

Love

[Elconscious]

Hi Sam,

First, it is important for you to understand what a "perfect person" is, to you. Unfortunately, I cannot comprehend such a person here on Earth and at the same time I do not feel the need to. Every person is in essence "perfect" since we are created not by accident, but deliberately by choice of "The Source". [This I believe wholeheartedly]

Either way, 'go wild' on creating that person first in your mind, if you have not already. Looks, age, character, behaviour, intelligence, state of health and wealth, you name it!

Eventually, when adding that person to your affirmation(s) you surely do not have to mention all of those, just give that person a name/title. Calling that person "my perfect person" may work just fine.

The more specific, as you know I am all about, the better.

Mention in your affirmation before or on what date (time stated) you will meet that person.

I would not concern myself too much with what that person will be wearing or even where you will meet. In a way you may want to be very specific, but I feel that you should leave enough freedom to "what-ever-IT-is" that will manifest it for you.

If you can find a picture of someone that the person should look like, great!

It should be of importance that you will experience that the person likes you ofcourse, mention that in your affirmation(s).

Note:
It is not adviced to go something like: "I want that person to like me and fall in love me at first sight"

Rather, it is more appropriate to say: "I will intensely feel that "my perfect person" is very attracted to me as if madly in love"

For how long should this relationship last?
Mention it.

That's it for now, I hope it may be useful to you.

Peace

 

 

[Shreeya]

Dear Elconscious

Please accept my sincere thanks for such nice piece of advice.

Surely, I'll follow your advice in my affirmation.

Thanks again !

God bless you always......