Author Topic: Can't stop attracting negative and mean people...help!! :( (Read 6608 times)

onlyhappiness · « **Reply #60 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:06:21 AM »

Gogetter..
I feel compelled to reply to this as Mariposa and others here are not being mean no one here is , they are simply trying to help you but can't seem to find a way to make you understand. Please take them up on their suggestions and read read read. The other thing i would ask you is why do others opinions matter to you so much? I will givew you my example not the same as your situation but... i work in customer service , i have been sworn at , put down , yelled at and called every name in the book over the course of my career and the thing is i could go home crying everyday , but really i don't care it is not my problem it is other peoples. I smile and nod tell them to have a good day and i FORGET about it. Really i know how terrific i am and if other people do not it is their problem and not yours

Just my 2 cents and i really hope you will/can love yourself and stop letting the opinions and actions of others get you down

Sending positive vibes

lise · « **Reply #61 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:09:49 AM »

Reading books is great gogetter but reading them isn't enough. You need to use them to take action practical or otherwise and actually do something. - use the content to inspire you to do something to change things.

I'm not sure what it is you want people to say? It reads a lot of the time like you want people to tell you how to get other people: your parents, bus drivers, officials etc to stop being mean to you. Whilst it's not possible to make other people change, it's possible for you to change and consequently how they respond to you will change.

You list repeatedly what you don't like, your parents being mean, people telling you what to do, bus drivers being mean, people telling you where you should live and from earlier posts people who put their kids in daycare whilst they work. So as you have such a clear idea what you don't want then focus on what you do want and don't expect it to happen quickly and because you've recited affirmations. I'm not convinced that anything happens because of reciting mantras ( alone) they are effective but done in conjunction with practical action and act to re affirm conscious thoughts and actions rather than being a magic set of words that change things.

You don't want to put your parents into care ( which is admirable and fair enough) and you don't want them to be mean and say things that upset you. As they're not just suddenly going to stop as you say they're in their 80s. So you need to find strategies to help you cope with their comments as whatever you're doing right now isn't working for you. So either find a healthcare professional who can see you and has somewhere you can take your kids to the appointment with you or ask a friend to look after them or find ways to ignore your parents comments or find some additional support who will come in and help you with them on a short term basis whilst you get some brief time alone.

If you can't leave the house often cos of the kids then look into gaining some qualifications via home study so you can look for work when they're older.

If that seems to impossible do smaller things stage by stage eg make your own bedroom a sanctuary, clean it, get candles , place your books around so you have somewhere to escape to to meditate etc. Get yourself feeling physically and mentally stronger to begin to make bigger changes.

People here can only advise and offer ideas regarding things to try and things that have worked for them we can't do it for you. You reject every bit of things that people suggest ( and that's fine too - certainly I read things for myself and think no, do t like the sound of that but might try that) but from what you what you're doing yourself isn't working and yet you're rejecting other ideas without even trying them

Sometimes change is hard and sometimes it's easier to keep doing what you're doing as painful as it is because you've become used to it. You can't do the same thing all the time and expect to get different results.

JustForToday · « **Reply #62 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:17:47 AM »

i said i wouldnt post here anymore-

but only one thing what mariposa said-

Now seriously, you need to choose to help yourself

that it IS!! you need to choose..... the same with smoking, weightloss etc, if you dont choose to stop it, no one can make you stop it.

and what i read somehwhere- in order to get happiness, you have to be happy first
i feel sorry for your kids, i know you cant out of your skin that quick, but at least try it. instead of watching tv all day (which feeds you with bad stuff anyway) you could have come here and post some things, just be a part of this. SURROUND YOUR BRAIN AND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE STUFF AND PEOPLE!!!!

i tried to tell you yesterday, that it will AUTOMATICALLY change your mindstate.
what else can i say? here is more to read and learn than you can imagine. feed your brain with loa stuff, even the angels help when you ask for help.

but it seems to me that you even have to go deeper into this whole, cause i cant see the will to survive. i told you that i did the same. so IT IS POSSIBLE.

TAKE CARE

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #63 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:37:41 AM »

Here's something else to think about but have you noticed that all your posts are centered around your problems, thoughts and feeling regarding your situation but so far I haven't found any posts that you have made responding to anyone else's posts to help them?

I have only gone back to the beginning of your membership so far but each post I have read was about you and you asking for advice and help but I haven't read any posts yet where you are responding to anyone else's concerns or stories with helpful advice.

It's just something to think about.

Sometimes we have to give to receive, but most of us give freely with our hearts open and don't do it with the expectation of receiving anything, we just do it because we truly want to help.

truelove · « **Reply #64 on:** March 23, 2012, 05:16:56 AM »

I agree with everything everyone here has said Gogetter. And we are here to help you, as Mariposa said, do you think we would take the time if we didn't want to help. we are not a service, we aren't paid to be hear, we are all genuinely caring people who care about others and spend our free time trying to help OURSELVES and if we can help others we lovingly do that to!!
That said what I feel is the very basis of self love is missing for you darlin. It all starts there. I know you are not connecting with yourself and feeling love and care for yourself and that is what is reflecting back to you from your world. It's possible you are even feel self hate right now. This all makes me feel sad for you.
First step to try.. radical self love.. as others have said. Clean your room. Make it your sanctuary. Candles, things you love around you. Start making gratitude list about what you like about yourself, what are you good at what are your strengths? recognise that you have lots to offer... Re read the books you have, pamper yourself, let yourself know YOU DESERVE IT!!!
This is only a first step, but I recommend doing this. Even for one day and come back on here and tell us how you feel about yourself. Not what anyone did to you. Just how you feel about you!!!
I wish you luck with it, I am willing to listen to your journey out of this place to REAL SELF LOVE it will be a wonderful journey for you!
xxx

gogetter · « **Reply #65 on:** March 23, 2012, 10:57:42 AM »

what none of you seem to hear or get is that no matter how much I do or try, I am hurt again and again every day by insults and put-downs and emotional and verbal abuse from my parents who i love.
nothing will work so long as i am in this situation and i merely hoped for some understanding or care but instead it seems like tough love and conditions to me posting here and pointing fingers at me for not helping others and only looking for help for myself...
you say if i dont choose to stop it, it wont stop. but no matter how much i choose to stop it and be positive and happy i am returned to a dark and sad place over and over again when the cruelty is hurled at me EVERY DAY. and if not from my parents then when i go out, someone is mean to me...and it is not just perception, it is REAL. a bus driver screaming at me and my kids to shut up and sit down is REAL. and my kids were only laughing and being excited and anyway, it is my right to expect a please and not be shouted at or ordered! but how did i bring that on myself? how?? why should i be subjected to that crap in public when i have to deal with it at home so much??
i think no one here can understand how to deal with my situation so you make it all my own fault and that somehow my parents being this way to me is due to ME. thanks alot.
where is all the kindness and help i was expecting? oh but because i have not given out any on here i dont deserve it back??? sure seems like it...

Ginny · « **Reply #66 on:** March 23, 2012, 12:11:46 PM »

But, gogetter, the entire premise of LOA is that you are responsible for everything that happens to you. So, you are saying that your experience is at odds with that... which means, you don't believe in LOA?

If you post on an LOA board, it is inevitable that people will tell you that you create your own experience. Just inthe same way that if you posted on a Christian faith site, people would tell you that Jesus is the son of God. It's fundamental to the belief system, so I'm not sure why you expected different?

People have been trying so hard to help you, but you don't seem to appreciate their efforts or the love they have been showing you. And that too is at the heart of LOA: gratitude. if you can't appreciate these small things, how can you expect LOA to work for you?

I Love Rainbows · « **Reply #67 on:** March 23, 2012, 12:24:26 PM »

Quote from: gogetter on March 23, 2012, 10:57:42 AM

nothing will work so long as i am in this situation and i merely hoped for some understanding or care but instead it seems like tough love and conditions to me posting here and pointing fingers at me for not helping others and only looking for help for myself...

Ah well, i guess you're screwed then, may as well give up

lise · « **Reply #68 on:** March 23, 2012, 02:58:41 PM »

Gogetter. I have read and remembered your posts from times you have been here before. I do feel for you as I can tell you're hurting. But each time you post it's to say how horrible, mean and nasty various different people are to you from your ex husband, your parents and virtually everyone you meet. Each time you post, people offer advice and suggestions and people do this a) because they want to help and b) things that have worked for them. Each time, you reject every single suggestion. What else can people do? We have no magic wand to wave to make your life better. It's a loa forum and people advise loa type things alongside more everyday suggestions. That's all people can do.

A lot of your posts are very harsh and critical of other people. I remember them as I they stood out and it was a while ago. In particular I remember one where you were very scathing about women who work and put their children in nurserys so they can work. I remember that as when my child was younger put my child in nursery so I could work part time. I generally feel most parents do their best for their children and whether that's working full time, part time or not at all and that's their choice. But when you have a view it's extremely fixed and I get the impression that people don't do what you would do you see as wrong and indequate. My point is you do come across as harsh and mean yourself yet complain that people are that way to you.

With regards your parents you don't want to put them into any kind of care home. Why? Because you love them? Or because you feel you shouldn't? You don't want them to go into a home and yet you can't cope with the way they are towards you. So what are you going to do? Unless you DO something things won't change.

I find it difficult to believe that every single person you come into contact with is mean to you and that you are giving out love and respect in return.

Your way is not working for you or you wouldn't be so unhappy. So why not at least TRY what some people have suggested and give the things you try some time and then say they haven't worked instead of dismissing them out of hand.

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #69 on:** March 23, 2012, 08:56:20 PM »

Gogetter:

Why do you have that name? What are you a go getter about? So far I see excuses, excuses and more excuses but no actual go getting!!

This is amazing to me how many people here have shown true caring and concern for you and your well being and you are so ungrateful, so dismissive!

What are you expecting? Are we meant to coddle you and pet you and tell you that you are right and everyone is against you, they are all terrible, awful people who are out to get you? So if we don't tell you you are right and everyone else is wrong we are terrible too and misunderstanding and in addition we are mean and the same as "those mean, terrible" people?

This is YOUR perception, these are YOUR expectations that we are not living up to.

Maybe if you open your mind a bit and realize there is a reason we are all telling you the same thing, realize that maybe you are looking at this in a way that isn't working for you and you need to change your mindset, your expectations. Get on board with the laws, principles and practices of the Law of Attraction and start actually believing in the law and how it works. Try to help yourself and stop making the excuses.

I hate to say this but what else can we do to help you if you are not willing to help yourself? Why should we continue to make an effort to even try to help you? Give me one reason why when all of us are basically giving you the same advice, why should we continue to spend our time with you if you won't listen and really THINK and accept what we are trying to tell you?

As Ginny said earlier, and also as I have tried to tell you......this is a Law of Attraction forum, if you don't believe in it then what are you doing here? Why are you thinking we can help you? We will not enable you to stay in your current situation when it obviously isn't working for you.

I wasn't suggesting that you have to help others before we will help you, I was drawing attention to you and what you have posted in the past and it seems rather self involved to me. Like the world revolves around you and you expect everyone to bend to your will and expectations and if they don't they are wrong and horrible and not worthy of your time.

So if this is the case here is a question for you........How many "real" friends do you have? I am willing to bet that you have very few if any because I know that if I had a "my way or the highway" friend who was constantly complaining about how awful their life is and how horrible everyone is to them, I would be running in the other direction. Who wants to be around a Debbie Downer all the time? Who wants to feel like they are walking on eggshells and have to be careful to agree with everything you believe because if they don't they will be judged and told they are wrong? Who wants that? NO ONE that's who!! I venture to guess that your social circle is minimal or non-existent.

Really, this is a case of you being wrong and not being able to accept it. Life isn't about living up to YOUR expectations. People are not going to bend to your will. You don't have control over others.......you can only control yourself and for a short time your children but you have NO CONTROL over other people and NEVER WILL. Accept this now, embrace it as the truth or you will continue to be miserable for the rest of your life.

I really don't know what else to say to help you.

But just know this........everyone here has truly with good intentions and open hearts attempted to help you and you have dismissed all of our suggestions. None of us are being mean to you......none of us, again that is YOUR perception.

I truly hope you find some real help, hopefully professional as at this time it seems that is your only real hope here.

gogetter · « **Reply #70 on:** March 23, 2012, 11:32:30 PM »

mariposa you are cruel, cold and mean. you probably kick animals when they are hurt too. you are power hungry and see me as a weak target you can stick the knife in deeper. i wonder what your cruelty will attract to you???

none of you will ever hear from me again. thanks for pushing me over the edge.

Mariposa, (KnJ) · « **Reply #71 on:** March 23, 2012, 11:45:55 PM »

OK.....so calling people names isn't cruel or mean?

Seriously? You are putting MORE BLAME on someone else??

This is all on you and EVERYONE has explained that to you.

Your PERCEPTION of me is mean but considering anyone who has TRIED TO HELP YOU is also perceived as mean, this does not surprise me in the least.

There is a reason I don't experience this type of behavior or constantly complain about it if I did......THE REASON IS I ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE, MY CHOICES, MY ATTITUDE. If I find something is wrong and I am unhappy I figure out why and I fix it!!

You just sit and blame and make excuses and are ungrateful when others try to help you and then you blame them when they tell you what you DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

That's right, it's all my fault and everyone else's fault for the results of your life, your decisions are my fault, your choices are my fault, you unhappiness is my fault! Yep, I am to blame for your sad life.

I am also to blame for attempting to help you, to offer you viable solutions to your issues and for caring about you and I am also to blame for you deciding to blame us all and ignore our help.

Oh and I am sure I am the reason that you say you don't believe in taking drugs but are abusing the Oxy you have been given as a pain med to get high and push yourself further into the depths.

I hope one day you will see how we have been attempting to help you and you will wake up and realize that you are the only person leading and living YOUR LIFE!! Only you are responsible for your own happiness!

What I find really amusing is how you dismiss EVERYONE in your life that does NOT agree with you. Your husband, dismissed, your friends (especially your best friend) dismissed, the school your child went to....dismissed. Any one who doesn't agree with you......DISMISSED!!

Shocking..........NOT!!

In addition........Obviously someone has played the guilt card with you and taught you to play it on others.....but guess what???

Guilt DOES NOT WORK WITH ME!!

Quote

thanks for pushing me over the edge

Yes, statements like this........is an attempted guilt trip, blaming others for you weaknesses. If you choose to go over the edge that is your choice and I have NOTHING to do with it.

We all understand you are frustrated and hurting but you are not making ANY ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER to help yourself.

You are not making any attempt WHATSOEVER to listen or understand what we are saying to you or acknowledge that we are attempting to help you.

And you are making no attempt to answer any of the questions that have been posed to you.

If I didn't know you signed up with this forum in 2010 and read your previous posts I would think you are a troll here to just yank our chain and stir things up because you don't seem to believe in the Law of Attraction in the least and apparently you are above answering any questions any of us have posed to you.

How CAN WE HELP YOU IF YOU WON'T HELP YOURSELF???

HOW??

gogetter · « **Reply #72 on:** March 24, 2012, 12:13:44 AM »

so i am supposed to keep an abusive husband around am i?? am i supposed to listen to his side of things, his abuse and consider it?

am i supposed to agree with a school or people in the community who are unkind or mean? or am i supposed to think hmm maybe it is just me thinking they are mean and i should bow my head down and take it and accept it?

i dismiss people who are unkind. i dismiss people who do not act out of love, care or concern.

and you should feel guilty, you SHOULD because of how mean, cold and cruel your words have been to me on here. where's the, it's all going to be ok, sending you a hug, block out and dismiss the mean people and keep realizing it is THEM and not you...where are those words?? do you actually think your words will help me in any way? do you actually think you are being kind??

if so, then you would think my ex husband and all the mean people here are probably just find and dandy. and if that is the case then i have no use for you. and that is not dismissing you because i dont agree with you, it is dismissing you because you are mean and do not speak in kindness or love.

and right now all i want to hear are soothing, coddling, kind, mushy words of love....not more insults, meanness or harshness...i can't take any more of that!

so mariposa can you just leave me alone and forget i exist? i dont want to hear another word from your cruel mouth!

only kindness please. and if there is no kindness, softness, gentleness or soothing words to help me through this tough time then i won't be back.

gogetter · « **Reply #73 on:** March 24, 2012, 12:19:25 AM »

also no one yet had answered MY question that i keep asking:

HOW can i make things better for myself when every day all the positive energy and goodness i find and create goes down the toilet as soon as my parents get ahold of me again and they have their daily insults at me. HOW? How can i keep something fixed which has every band aid torn off before it even has a chance to heal??
HOW???

Shrikanya · « **Reply #74 on:** March 24, 2012, 12:30:59 AM »

Hi there gogetter,

You have to begin somewhere if you want to heal? Don't you agree ?

So please start cleaning your house and throwing unwanted stuffs out, you will yourself figure out what you wish to do and what would heal you. Then begin with your appearance. Only after this, you can appreciate what all others are trying to state.
You can heal