Can't stop attracting negative and mean people...help!! :(

[gogetter]

No matter how hard I try or how much goodness I give out, I always end up being burned by the meanest, unkind, uncompassionate types of people who try to cause me pain or harm or who judge me unjustly.

Examples:

1.Every worker at the welfare office is MEAN. They deny me for everything and make me jump through a million hoops and speak condescendingly to me and treat me like I am dirt. Recently when they denied an important out of town medical trip for me I got a higher form of government department involved and they relented but I have to go to welfare constantly to ask for extra funds for a variety of problems or issues that come up in my life and they are super mean to me.

2. I can't afford to pay for my dogs to have surgery they need so the mean people at the vet clinic also gave me a hard time and acted as though I was on crack when I pleaded with them to let me pay the bill off slowly as I was able to at the dentist. They were sneery and rude to me and told me I should not have a pet if I cannot pay the bill. They won't hear that my pets have been with me for 13 years and came along when I was still married and not on my own now a single mother!!

3. So I found help from an animal charity service and they agreed to pay my vet bills but turns out they are conditional charity and when I sent a friend to take my dog for the first appointment and explained I could not take my dog as i do not have transportation and the kids were sick but instead of kindly understanding the woman at the charity began to berate me and suggest I surrender my dogs if I can't step up and make the effort needed, etc...she got really nasty and I am so tired of people being so mean to me!!

4. A charity organization that helps single parents in my local town helped us at xmas. they called the other day to follow up with me and i was glad as they had been so nice but it soon turned out to be anything but! The woman began lecturing me that I should move and get my elderly dad who I look after into a home and too bad if he doesn't like it, they all fuss at first but you need to move to a low rental that you can afford and get those kids into school (I homeschool because I feel it is better than the public school system!) and give up your dogs, etc, etc...she had changed from a caring helper at xmas to another mean lecturing so-called charity helper!

I honestly cannot take much more. Oh and let's not forget that during my medical trip we stayed at a hotel in the city and because it was a nice hotel that I got a great deal on by using my airmiles, we got off the bus and walked in whereas everyone else was having their cars valet parked and I walk in with my stroller and backpack and kids and the hotel staff looked at me like I was dirt, they were rude to me and condescending and made me pay an extra deposit since I only had $300 room on my visa and they felt I should have at least $500 deposit in case of damages from the kids, and I found out after that is not standard policy, just their policy for poor people i guess.

I try to hold my head high and i try and attract wealth by allowng myself to have nice things and feel just as worthy as anyone else. But it does not work, I am still poor. And I smile at everyone, don't judge people, have compassion for others and try and extend acts of kindness all the time...but still, I continue to attract all these mean and negative types to me constantly.

I am always having strife with people, conflict and I do not know how to make it stop.

Please, please help me. 

[JustForToday]

i am really sorry for you and i know where you coming from

dont have much time now to answer in detail, will later-
i asked a similar question the last days though.

have a look and all the best to you

http://www.powerlawofattraction.com/forum/law-of-attraction-lounge-1/why-do-we-attract-mean-and-provocating-people/

[gogetter]

I just read your first post in your link and oh wow. your life sounds like mine in so many ways! I am going to read all the replies now, would love any feedback you have for me...thank you for sharing your link, it is uncanny how many similar negative issues with people happen for me...

I wondered if maybe my own inner self-doubt about myself attracts all of this? and if so, how does one conquer self doubt? I recite positive affirmations every day...I try to project loving and kind thoughts to those who are cruel or unkind to me...I have alot of problems with mean bus drivers and when I am sitting on the bus with my kids after experiencing yet another mean issue with a driver, i stare at the driver and imagine hugging him or her and try my hardest to project loving and kind thoughts.

But despite all of the love and positivity i send out, there is still always the return in my head to a running inner dialogue of all the negative and bad...i try hard to shut it out but it always comes back because of so many bad things. we could be waiting for the bus and i am imagining the worst depending what horrible driver is coming along, but then i stop myself and think happy and positive. but it never seems to help because the bad always happens.

When i have to deal with the welfare office i cannot stop myself from feeling like a scumbag loser, and i keep imagining how they all think i am a loser or how the bank sees me as scum when i hand over my welfare cheque...and i always always counter these thoughts with positive affirmations and i always try to push away all the bad but it never stops, it never goes away!

i just get over one bad circumstance and boom, another one comes up. another bunch of mean people to deal with, another round of judgements or cruelty...when will it stop?

Every day I say out loud a long list of these positive affirmations but it seems like they don't work.

I am at the point where i just want to disappear with my kids somewhere that no one knows me and i can stay away from charity or welfare or any services that instantly label me! i don't want anyone to know me and if no one knows me or knows anything about me, then i can live in peace.

i am about to come into a substantial amount of money, enough to relocate us somewhere like a remote scottish island or remote greek isle...i just want to be free from all the hate, all the judgements, all the negativity, all the need for charity or help...and all the services like food bank, welfare, family services, charities, the bus drivers...they all know someone in the community who knows me or they all talk and there is just no escape.

the other day when a bus driver was hateful to me again and threatened me with the cops simply for asking what time the bus connection was coming and not hurrying off his bus fast enough for his liking, i told him i would report him for his cruelty and upsetting my kids and he said, "haha go ahead, the bus depot needs another good laugh over you and your stupid senseless complaining!" i have complained loads over the past year and the manager of our bus service is married to a woman who was head of PTA at the school I used to take my kids to, and she gave me a hard time at the school, my kids were bullied so i chose to homeschool, but he already had a biased opinion of me so i had no hope. and to hear that they all laugh at me is exactly what i figured they were doing. so i had gone to the head of the provincial bus service in the capital and they heard me out last time but honestly did not do much, i did not even get an apology. and this time when i told the head of the province about it, they don't even have the decency to reply to me. when i contacted them again to see if they received my complaint they finally replied and said yes and would get back to me. i am just an afterthought to these people, a joke, and why? because i am on welfare so i am considered nothing?? because all these people are mean? why? why won't it stop?

i just want to disappear.

[gogetter]

I have read the secret, the power, deepak chopra, wayne dyer, tolle...and read all of this stuff over and over and regularly use the methods and affirmations. so what am i doing wrong? why do i continue to face strife and negative people and it seems to get worse not better.

[tereza]

You don't have to send loving thoughts to people who are mean to you, especially if you are feeling bad. The best thing to do is to ignore what happened and just let it go. Now I'm not saying be a doormat and allow people to abuse you, but instead choose carefully your battles. Sometimes it's just not worth giving any energy to certain arguments and instead just redirect your thoughts to yourself and the things that make you happy.

Also, sometimes it's helpful to look at the people who are being mean and realize that perhaps the reason they are so mean is because they are unhappy and probably going through some rough times. It sort of puts things in perspective. The fact that you're able to be nice and even try to send them loving thoughts, just shows how much more blessed you are than they are. You have the ability to give love, which they at this moment don't have. All those people that got into arguments with you or were being mean, they're sort of in a lower place than you are.

Also, kudos to you on your upcoming move. I think it will be good for you and your family. I'm not sure why the people in your city are so mean, but sometimes that happens and it's not really a result of you attracting them so much as that's just how they sort of are. I know in my old city, people who would come from another state would say over and over, that the locals were not very friendly and kind of stuck up. So perhaps old beliefs sort of made the city into what it was? I don't know. Also, even though I had a new manager at my old job, that manager would treat me exactly the same as my old manager and didn't think I was capable of much. Now that I've moved, it's sooooooo different. The people are much friendlier and my managers treat me with respect and actually try to help me out.

[gogetter]

thanks, I hope I can find a way to make the move happen but due to being my elderly parents caregiver i just do not see how i can make the move without abandoning them. i am trapped here, when i get my money it will sit in a pillowcase and collect dust unless we use it on a holiday but i would much rather use it to move. but i cant abandon my responsibility here, no one else would step up, i have the most unloving uncaring siblings who say an old persons home is the answer because they do not care, no one cares, only me. and when i am subjected to elderly tirades of anger and abuse hurled at me or constant cane shaking at me and telling me i am no good and useless as a mother (due to dementia) it does not help when i call the various services that help us because instead of sympathy i just get told to abandon and go with the old age home and think of myself and my kids and the old people "get over it" eventually. but everything inside me says that is WRONG and typical of the cruel thinking that is so predominant in our mean and selfish society. so i am trapped, trapped, trapped and i seriously dont want to even leave my house anymore because it means facing all the cruelty and mean judgements and dealing with a society i hate....i just dont know what to do anymore.

[gogetter]

also it was like this in the last small town we lived in back in 2009...and the town before that...and the town before that...and so on...i hate the big city but it was the only place i lived where i did not feel so loathed by everyone and where i did not face ongoing strife and problems from everyone. but i will never live in a big city with kids. never. i need nature and the ocean and a big garden to play in. but all these small towns have the same attitudes. i wonder if a remote village, island or wherever in the uk or europe would be any different? maybe it would be as long as no one knew i ever had any affiliation with welfare or poverty? or is it something in me?

[tereza]

It seems you've got a few limiting beliefs in there, such as your siblings not wanting to help or that people don't care. You might want to try writing some gratitude lists and then slip in that your siblings care about your parents and are helping out.

Also, I think that when people suggest that you put your parents in an old age home, they're not trying to be mean or cruel. I think they're just trying to be helpful, because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of others. And it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and you're already burned out from it all. Maybe you need to explore what your options are out there? You don't have to put your parents in an old age home, but maybe you could hire a caregiver to watch them, so that you're not always exposed to angry outbursts?

I don't know, what the answers would be. I think maybe figuring out what your ideal situation would be in terms of where you live and how your parents are taken care of, would probably help. Maybe you could write it out and maybe someone here can help you brainstorm or search for ways to achieve that goal?  I think that lump sum of money, might be able to stretch a lot farther than you think it will and maybe having a plan or direction could help with making it go farther.

[gogetter]

believe me, i wish things were different with my siblings and i tried for years to give only love to them and kindness and i wrote out my hopes and dreams for my family, i tried HARD but these are evil, cruel people...these are people who have threatened to kill me, have done harm to our own mother, these people lie about me, they mock and laugh at me and their mother and basically anyone...they are cruel and I hope I never have to speak to them again. I gave up last year and have closed the door on them. i try to only think positive things when i have to think of them but mostly i just don't think of them at all. It is something that took me a long, long time to close the door on for good.

I honestly do not think people have my best interests at heart when they suggest the old people's home. i state over and over i just want some sympathy and some support but no one has sympathy, people are all right-wing conservative arseholes who don't believe in hand outs and think i should be out working at mcdonalds with my kids in daycares and my parent in the old home where they belong and if i dont fit into that box, i am worthless. i try so hard to not believe that about myself and i know it is not true but this is how people think, this is why i am treated badly, this is why the so-called charity wants me out of the fancy house we rent in a rich area...they dont think i deserve to live here! i am only good enough for the low rentals! i even had someone quite nasty say to me last year why should you try and live beyond your means? you shouldnt get to mingle with the upper class neighbourhood, you are not good enough! you are on welfare! so go where the welfare go! those are words that were hurled at me last year in yet another big confrontation i had with yet another mean person who no longer is in my life.

but these people dont stop coming, they keep on and keep on. and even when i go out and have a day when no one has said a word to me, i almost can feel the thoughts and stares of those looking and me and maybe knowing oh there she is, that welfare mother who causes problems with everyone!

I fought home support services tooth and nail to send someone in on a daily basis and finally got that implemented which has helped but the moment i put a foot wrong my dad is on me again. the kids were sick last week and would not eat anything i made them so i decided to just try sandwiches for supper and all of a sudden my dad is accusing me of starving my kids and demands with a pounding of the cane that i list off everything i have fed them and where is HIS food? why am i not getting HIS meals? (which i have been but this past week with sick kids he was making his own food) and how the groceries i got were not good enough and i only think of myself and look at your poor kids all getting thinner while you get FATTER because YOU eat and think of yourself but you dont think of anyone else you are selfish and you deserve to lose your kids and what is wrong with you are you MENTAL? i am going to report you blah blah. And that was just today.

It is not ALWAYS like that. But that is a classic example of how i get treated when i go off schedule or if i am feeling down or droopy...i get attacked because he has no one else he can attack. and i understand and i shoulder it. but when i complain to people i never hear, you are doing so good, you know down deep he loves you and he is just lashing out because he is old and helpless...no i never hear that. i hear, just because he is old that is abuse and he needs to go to a home and you need to think about you and the kids. to me, that is not thinking of me! that is someone not LISTENING to me saying i refuse to abandon my dad and i just want support not lecturing or an attempt to shove me into a box, a category and get me into low rentals and my dad into a home, i dont want that!!! i just want coddling and sympathy and  kindness but THERE ISNT ANY! THERE JUST ISNT ANY KINDNESS OUT THERE AND IF THERE IS I SURE GET PRECIOUS LITTLE OF IT!!!

I'm so sad and so tired and just want to disappear, i want to disappear from here and just be around kindness and love.

[Era]

Hi there sweetie! I can see where you are coming from yet, there are challenges that we meet every day. These challenges are made to make us grow, learn, and mature. It is best not to take these challenges too seriously, which is why I call them ‘fun challenges’. I cannot guarantee that once you are able to align your thoughts with your emotions, everything will be as easy as pie, but surely, there is always an ease on things. It will make facing those challenges much easier and fun.
You can’t expect the road to success to be without bumps. Those bumps are there for you to appreciate the smoothness of the road and the scenery. See the challenges that you meet as reminders for you to appreciate the beauty of life. Without them, our lives would be so boring; our alignment with our desires is affected.

When you are in alignment with your intentions, you will always be able to find a way to make challenges much easier and fun. If negative emotions get in the way, try this effective method to make those negative emotions go away and be gone for good:

http://manifestabsolutelyanything.net/attracting-abundance-eft1d.html

So instead of worrying yourself out or straining yourself, see those challenges that you meet everyday as ‘fun challenges’ and try to make solving them as fun and as natural as possible.

Have fun!

[gogetter]

Things are still really gloomy in my life...I want it to be better but I am disillusioned and feel so let down and hurt by failing at life.

I am stuck here and I don't want to be here. Every day the hours blend into each other, I am criticized and put down or told what I can't do EVERY SINGLE DAY by the mean old people who once upon a time were young and loving parents. What does it do to a person when they are criticized and put down every single day by the people you love the most?

I have not gone out of my house in weeks now....just have become a shut in and so have my kids. I cannot bear going out and having to deal with all the negative and mean people in the stores, the bus drivers,the angry and judgemental stares from people on the street when one of my kids burps loudly or one of them is whining at me for a toy. I just can't take it any more.

And it is still out there, waiting for me, I know because today a store called me that I had ordered and pre-paid some big household items from a month ago and the items had arrived. I explained as a single mum without transportation could I arrange a friend to pick up the items and they were blunt and said NO we need ID and sorry but that is the rule. When I said yes but based on my circumstances can you make an exception, they acted like I asked for something shocking! The woman actually said to me what makes you so different from anyone else? we ALL have challenges in our lives and sorry but you are NO exception. I said how about some compassion or kindness? She said hey I have to work for a living and I don't get to have anyone run around and help me out when I can't get my car working, etc etc. She just went on to outline her life and shoved it as me in such a way as to imply that since she doesnt get any help in life or exceptions, then no way can i have any! But I got mad and asked for a supervisor and told her I would not let this go and would go to the head of the company, to human rights if I had to and finally she relented and was really snotty to me over it and told me she would be writing this up and I won't be allowed this one time exception again and how I should arrange my life better, etc etc.

THAT is what I face all the damn time. And that is why I am staying in my house and not going out.

Please someone tell me how to make it better, how to cope...because I just can't. And the kids are just wasting their lives away stuck inside here with me, and I don't do anything, I can't even clean up or put laundry away, the house is a mess because I just sit around and feel sad. I can't stop feeling sad or depressed and then I have a parent telling me to stop sulking and get off your ass and do something...well that just makes me hide in the bathroom and do even less.

Please someone help me. please.

[truelove]

gogetter, I'm sorry I am confused, did you say she made the exception for you?? And you don't have a car but a friend was willing to go and pick up your things for you?

I'm sorry but I am hearing you play the victim when really you got what you wanted!!

If I am mistaken I apologise but what I suggest you do is sit down and appreciate all the things that go right for you in the course of the day..

i.e.- the lady at the store made an exception for you
your friend went to pick up your purchases
you have a home to live in
you have healthy children

even smaller things there is food on the table, clothes on our back and water in the pipes...

the more focus you put on the things that go right for you, the more things that will go right for you
the more focus you put on your belief that things do not go right for you, people judge you and the world is horrible, that is what you will experience.

I know I am sounding harsh, I feel you need some tough love here.

Please share with us some of the things you know are working for you right now, it's the first step out of the place you are in.

[gogetter]

I was trying to explain that the woman at the store gave me a long and hard time over making the exception for me, she made me feel like a criminal or bad to even ask, she shamed me and put me down...and that is what happens constantly to me whenever i ask for extra help or anything which i do often because i feel in my difficult position in life, exceptions should be made for me, just like they should be made for the disabled or the elderly or whatever...there is hardly any compassion out there and it hits me really hard.

Sure i am happy in the end i got what i wanted but look at the abuse i had to endure!!

the mean people i have to face all the time, that lack of feeling or compassion brings me down really far. How do i stop it from hurting me so much, how do i cope with it? it is constant and that is why i have stopped going out.

even the charity services i have asked for help would help me initially but then they turn on me when i don't do what they say...which is conditional charity and that is horrible! these people think because they are giving to me they can dictate what i do...for example they want me to move out of my nice house in an upscale area and get my butt into low rentals so i can afford my life better and they want my parents in a home!!! and these are not things that are gently suggested, they are demanded and when i say no, i cant do that, they get nasty and rude to me and no longer want to help me. they have no compassion for the fact that i chose to live here to give my kids and parents a nice home and nice neighbourhood to make THEIR lives enhanced. They don't care that it would be a cruel and hurtful upheaval to move everyone and stick my parents in a home. Why are people so MEAN???

And I say mantras every single day of all the thinks i am grateful for....have been doing it for over a year, I go to a quiet place, usually the bath or shower and I say all the things I am grateful for like being alive, healthy, my kids, my parents, food, shelter, etc etc...a huge list. and I also say every single day: my financial opportunities are boundless and the universe supports me completely. abundance is my divine right, i am healthy, wealthy and loved.

I also give small amounts of my meager income to charity and my children just cut their hair off to donate to cancer. I promote goodness and try, try, try but yet all i attract are mean people, judgemental people, cruel people and it never gets any better...

WHY??? i am doing everything right, i am trying so hard so why why why why??

[lise]

I think some of the things you are experiencing is about perception. Presumbably when you placed the order they would have said or it would have been in the written info that only the person who placed the order could collect it or sign for it on delivery? I know how frustrating these things can be but you'd be pretty annoyed if you'd ordered and paid for an expensive item and they just let anyone collect it. Could you have not gone with your friend to collect it? She had the car, they got to see you. It's done with now and stressing about it will just keep feeding your anger and resentment. At the end of the day, despite their reluctance and policy, you did get your own way so try to think of it as a positive rather than a negative.

[Mariposa, (KnJ)]

Thank you Truelove......I was thinking the same thing that you voiced.

Seems she needs to be a bit more grateful for the good things and good people in her life and not so nit picky and judgmental about the "so called negative" people and situations in her life. 

No one is picking on you gogetter......no one!!  It is all in your head, and you are taking it all way too personally.  These people are doing their jobs and they are trying to HELP you.

If there are SOME people who seem negative, it's probably because they are having a difficult time in their own life and it is not a reflection on you.

Try not to take all this so personally.  Please try to grow a bit of a thicker skin and if possible try to start feeling good about yourself.

You are doing the best you can do.......AND THAT IS GREAT!!  So believe it! 

You are a wonderful, kind, caring person doing your very best!! 

Don't worry......it will get better.